|I'm at my work, i answer on the telephone to the people questions about our software...and i think that i'm going to kill this stupid girl who thinks that Windows98 is a computer and who thinks that she can turn off her computer by pushing the button on the down right corner of her screen...oh my god! How are we going to save the planet from Bill Gates !|
|I am here at my desk, waiting in vain for something I don't know.|
I feel like I missed the bus or something, that I am walking in the dark, in the rain, going nowhere...
And the journey stops?
I left home and am here in this small town in America... half way across the globe; and I did it and I did it all just to be close to the woman I love.
I walk around this beautiful campus admiring nature and the marvels of mordern landscape design in all its glorious splendour and I long for her warm presence by my side. Our hands seemed to fit so well; How I wish to hold them again and look into her beautiful eyes. Eyes so beautiful that they told stories of love and affection. Eyes so bright that would get hapiness and joy into the darkest of my days...;
That light seems so distant now.
The evenings are getting really chilly and I try to run away from my lonliness and pain but they always seem to catch-up. And in my lonliness I think of the times of our togetherness. The most wonderful time I ever had, the most wonderful time we ever had. And I try to figure out what went wrong... was I wrong in giving commitment when she asked for it, was I wrong in trying to give her hapiness and joy in every possible way, was I wrong in loving her wholly and truly and with all my heart, ...was I wrong?
I cannot even avoid her. Circumstance has us living in the same building and eating at the same table... life is cruel sometimes... I think of all we through together and all the wonderful times we spent together... it seems like such a waste now. I cant let go. She wants to be friends. Yeah right! First you thaw a guys heart out of the freezer, make it all soft and warm and tender, then you just chuck it into the grinder, let it spin till its pulp and then serve it with the garnish .... "lets be friends!" Is that supposed to make me feel good ?! Its not fair!
My world is clouded with tution bills and assignments and heartache and doubt but there is only one truth I know and that is the way I feel about her...
I love her.
|I am in a fairly amazing place that I have never been before. Of course, I thought I had been here a few times, but didn't realize just how wrong I was until I looked around me. The other places that looked like this on the outside were in reality just jumbles of painted screens, shifting shadows, and broken promises. Now I know I'm really here. |
I'm in love.
I jumped blindly to get here, with both feet and no safety lines. He caught me. Now we're both here.
I'm glad I didn't settle for "good enough". This place is worth it. So is he.
|I just read a story about a man who was broken by love. |
My story is different. Love has made me whole. Thank you god for giving love.
|i am trying to make a low relief sculpture based on the letter "g" for my 3D class at art college.|
i gave up a job making 36K a year to be here.
it was the best decision i have ever made.
happy b-day fray.
|i'm trying to figure out where i should be going and what i'm supposed to be when i grow up while working this dead-boring job that is slowly sucking dry my soul.|
careers are like boyfriends--i don't know what it is exactly that i want, but i'm pretty sure i'll know it when i see it.
|Here I am, spending my last few days at this job, about to leave Houston for Austin. I don't even know much about the company except the website, the pay (!) and the location (6th and Congress(!!)). I'm taking a giant risk, but somehow it feels right, and something inside of me has come alive.|
This time around, being older, leaving my friends seems a lot more permanent. At least the girl will be coming, when the semester's done, hopefully, if all goes well.
I am rebooting my life, ready to take on a new set of instructions and hoping I don't crash.
And to think, we do this all without a user's manual.