|Today I am just realizing it's now tonight and that I have still made no progress on this blasted Wood Adhesives lab report due earlier. I am wearing an old Patagonia fleece, some Gramicci pants, smart-wool socks, and some played out Birkenstock boston clogs (but my are they comfy). No music is playing right now, but Dirt-Featuring Shadow of the Locust is what I am thinking about putting in the cd player. I don't know if I'm going to finish this lab report anytime soon. I may just go ahead and play some Timeshock pinball. I've gotten pretty good at it. When it was light out I enjoyed seeing the harvest colors of Fall shroud the Blue Ridge mountains. Now it's dark and all I have left to look at is my computer screen and the christmas lights running around the ceiling of my room.|
|Today I am sitting in my half of a shared double room in Brown, fairly small as they come, wondering about the irrelevance of my life in the larger scheme of things. There is something so mundane about the life of a student; of learning that almost seems to have little context out of the next exam, of learning that will be largely futile where our futures are concerned. And yet the purity and wonder of truth yanks us all in, but that is again shredded by doubts about the nature and existence of truth; perhaps life is pointless? Such is the conclusion one reaches again and again, yet one has not the courage to end it all with a slash; hope springs eternal that in the sum of days left, precious in being so limited, one may yet be inspired........|
|Moving day, moving night|
Today I am trying to stay awake at the computer after moving all our belongings till 3AM but at least it wasnt raining and the moon was beautiful and our new home will be nice but this Stereolab just isnt cutting it.
nice fray, good dog.
|Today I'm sitting down working on Japanese homework. It's the first class in the series, and I have no choice but to go through two years of it to graduate. I can't fail.|
I'm caught up in the usual confused college-student state where I am constantly trying to refine what I want to do with my life. And, although I've got ideas, it's hard to nail anything down. So, basically, I'm at a place called Limbo.
|Inside wishing i was outside.|
Alone wishing i was in love.
In Toronto wishing I was in India.
Able to make it all possible in a moment...
But just sitting here instead.
|today i am at home with candles and a large bottle of white wine, luna di luna. i have just sent off a love letter to one of my best friends - a man i have adored for over three years. i am listening to a tape he recorded for me of his own songs, hoping my confession doesn't ruin our friendship. i am so scared of losing him.|
|Today I am working on a way to fill out the spare time between nine and five before my manager discovers the nothing that I have been doing for the past six months. Who would have thought that work could be so difficult?|
|Today I sit here in front of the computer..again..I sit and wonder why. I feel alone as I sit and stare. Then I realize that HE is on line, HE is talking to me on a messanger, I don't feel so alone anymore, I feel all my happiness again...just because he logged on...that is where I am today......:O)|