Last year, I decided to listen to my heart...and I went out to SF at Xmas to visit a childhood pal instead of doing the "right" family thing...and I followed my heart to Pt Reyes...and the stars and the moon whispered as we spinned and spinned "You've found your way home...what took you so long?" I found "home." And I'll be flying to CA and to his arms...if only for another brief spin in "time", to inscribe in my heart "that's what HOME feels like." HOME flying flying flying to all angels finding their way to their own "home" inscribe this in your heart so that it may become a beacon "Here's your magic formula: I want to do with you what spring does to the cherry trees."

Deb {DBComm@aol.com}

While I flip through the photo album in my head, I see a lot of missing pages. Maybe I intended to forget pieces of the past year; maybe I know too well what it means to acknowledge that every moment is a fleeting breath. Be it good or bad, it becomes another page. And sometimes I don't want another page.

Anyhow, I do see a page showing my introduction to Fray..I forget the details, but I remember feeling a serenity, like coming HOME after a long journey. I sat down next to the fireplace with my stories and shared. I adore the Fray and all the work and compassion that the Frayer's give to the Net..as I tap away at the keyboard and take solace behind a glass screen, I remember the times I have taken advantage of Fray to bare my soul...

So here's to many more years of my taking advantage of the Fray! Happy Birthday dear Fray...maybe next year I can take advantage of the open mic! ~Angela~

Angela DiIulio {earthsis@spindle.net}

in the last year, i made a decision and now i'm in minnesota, 1100 miles from everyone i love. i talk to my one and only once a week and am trying to find time to wonder how i already broke a heart here.

{ fray } and derek's work continue to amaze me; it was one year ago that i said, this is art, and someone listened.

happy birthday and many happy returns.

aggie {aggie@flabjab.com}

I made it to the pow-wow, and as is my usual fashion, I got here an hour and a half late. I'd remembered reading "no one would be turned away for lack of funds" - and being that I am on limited disability income it was imperative that I spend that five dollars on groceries. What the site didn't tell me was that there would be a price to get in...

Th face of the guy at the door seemed to light up demonically when my life-mate and I mentioned we were sans cash tonight. "We have a policy for people without money...you get to sit in the Stupid Chair..." and we were both handed slips of paper and potentially embarrassing topics to write our entrance vignettes on.

This wasn't any problem for me.

There was only one slight discomfort: I had to write with a pen and paper. What the hell is a pen? Could I remember what end the ink was supposed to come out of?

Halfway down the page my hand started to hurt. THIS was Repetitive Stress Injury, something I've never felt a great deal of from typing. Moving my whole hand to write each of those letters!

After I finished, I realised just how long we've come in the world of writing, because of this computer thing. We can say so much more in so much less time, with so much less effort.

Let's take a moment to thank the Great God of Techgnosis, who watches over all computers, for these dear machines we've been blessed with.

Happy 2nd Birthday. May you have many more, with your archives running over.

Demi Monde {monde@sirius.com}

if there's one thing i've learned in the last year, it's that i'm not always going to know who i am. in fact, i currently don't. i seem to have lost myself. i have a long way to go.

in the last year, i have found a bit of what i am and some of what i'm not. i've also been tested a lot. tested in love and in life. i don't know how well i've done, but i feel like i'm simply coasting. just drivin' down hahway fawrty in mah big ol' pick up truuuck.

all in all i suppose it's been a good year. one thing i've forgotten, however, is how good other people can be for me. i spent much of last year staying away from them, and only lately have i been around them more frequently. i had no idea how much i missed people i love. i felt empty and now i'm on my way to being full (i think).

i'm going to concentrate on things i must improve in myself: laziness, procrastination, lack of emotion indentification, and confidence in my decisions. and even though i love it most of the time, i might even try to tone down my cynicism. in the long run it's not going to get me anywhere.

at any rate, happy birthday. keep on living on the fray.

Meredith Modzelewski {brotha@apk.net}

As you, at the Fray, celebrate your birthday, I also celebrate a birthday of sorts, a birthday of self-discovery, a time where I saw who and what I had become, and saw that I didn't like it.

My self-discovery began a year ago on the net, so it is fitting that I tribute it here.

How many times people asked me "What do you like to do?" and how many times did I realize that I didn't know. Why didn't I know?

Asking "Why?" started my journey to find out who I was again. Sheltered in an enviornment of closed-minded friends had prevented me from seeing the world around me. I had to find that world again.

I began my quest; finding new people to meet, overcoming some of my greatest fears, being willing to see that there were many perspectives from many types of people, and the world wasn't just black and white, but filled with brilliant shades of grey!

I found a wonderful love that I had never known could exist, and felt the most excrutiating pain when he walked away from me.

And then I found that I lived on despite it; stronger, wiser, and filled with hope that the future can still bring many good things to a life looking out for it.

I celebrating a renewness of me as you celebrate growing another year older. May we both continue forward seeking understanding and perspective from everyone who we experience and experiences us.

Happy Birthday Fray!

Dani {dmo6@yahoo.com}

Alot has changed in past year. I found out what I wanted. I really started to live instead of waiting for another diversion to drift into the transom of my life. I systematically kicked all the assholes out of my life and built a new one. I took a stupid home page/family page and turned it into a chic web site; and most recently, took a gun and put it out of its misery when I realized the site wasn't a reflection of me at all. Then I started a brand new zine; one that didn't suck; and a new web site; one that is all me, w\out sacrificing style. I now judge my life by experiences instead of what i have attained. Also a referral by a friend about www.coolsiteoftheday.com led me to www.flaunt.net which led me to www.fray.com! I loved every story and aspired to write like these people. So you can imagine my joy (I screamed for five minutes) when my letter got published in the second edition of www.sothere.com . I think one of the creators is you, Derek.... but i'll have my secretary get back to me on that. This has been a great year! I love it! Happy Birthday Fray. I got you this cute green sweater... but it was too big. Maybe you can wear it next year.

Christopher Garland Smith {Chrizzmith@aol.com}

So...

About an hour ago I hopped off the stage after telling a story I'd written earlier in the week. It felt odd to be up there; I wanted to turn around and tell the audience: "No...let me tell it again. This story deserves so much more.

There are members of my Tribe here, and members of my People. It feels good to have them all together under this roof of this space, all of us drinking wine and eating the chocolate chip cookies that I made. I feel so strangely at home here, even though we're going to break the whole thing down in an hour and go home.

It's been a long day. It's been an even longer year. I've shut down one web site and started another. I ran out of steam and got my wind back. I owe fray a lot.

Wish you were here to see this, kids. The lighting's beautiful.

Adam Rakunas {rak@openwindow.org}