afterDinner sends sentimental regards to the cast and crew of fray on this very special day.

CONGRATULATIONS!

And see you next year!!

(psst! Lance! alex sez: snag me a T-shirt, too!)

afterDinner.com {we.love.you.fray@afterdinner.com}

This year has been one of my hardest. I relearned a lot of things I never thought I had lost. Friendship for one. I dont know what happened but somehow I lost a lot of friends most to sadness, or stupid and childish fights a couple even to death. I learned a lot about myself and they way I lived. I learned people cared about me when I thought no one did. But most importantly I learned that happiness doesn't change me. That I dont have to deep and dark just to be interesting and that a smile goes a long way especially if its real.

Happy Birthday Fray I know this year will be better then the last

Meghan {LadieVern@aol.com}

A year where promises became realities, I suppose. Summer ended with another parting, but the new year opened my eyes. My first days in the States, taking me from New York to Athens in a matter of days, a glut of culture I'd only received at second-hand, and yet I knew far better than I ought.

And then a summer, my life spread out in the Southern heat, a reverse view of my ocean, and the thought of years.

Future in motion.

I kept Faith. And lived to tell the tale.

Happy birthday, { fray }.

Nick {nsweeney@jesus.ox.ac.uk}

To answer the question first.... emotional upheaval, inward reflection, Finding hope. Divorce is rough. no easy way about it, but I regained the truth about myself through my own writings. Art is supposed to be honest, giving us insight into the life we lead. Not to get all heavy, the past year has equaled growth for me. Fray has been a part of that growth.

ONTO THE PARTY!!! I was looking for something different when I logged on to the net for the first time(almost 2 yrs ago). I can't recall how I found Fray, but I am truly glad I did. Fray.com has become a resource both artistic and emotional for me. Your fruits are truly appreciated, and I look forward to new horizons. My only regret is missing the party by 2 weeks(dang nabbit!)...I'll be coming to SF for a vacation soon, maybe I'll look ya up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Griff Day {gclone@sihope.com}

Over the last year I've learned what it's like to be me. Sounds kind of simple, doesn't it? Not really. It can be a terrifying thing for some people, especially if you're used to being what other people think you are.

This past year I have been tempered in the fires of a casually distant and uncaring world, which is a fancy way of saying I got royally screwed and somehow came out all the better for it.

Having your heart ripped apart has a way of doing that to ya.

Oh sure, it's easy for me to enfold the mental and emotional turbulence of the last twelve months into three little words (I Got Screwed), but it's much better than replaying the entire story like some obscure, dark symphony best appreciated when heard in its entirety.

The truth of the matter is the real three words are I Screwed Myself, by being the sort of person who sets myself up for exactly that situation, then reacting with righteous indignation when events are played out to an aesthetic, moral, and logical conclusion.

Lessons learned this past year: Don't expect things out of people based on how you choose to view them, people are who they are through no fault or action of your own. Learn to be just selfish enough to keep your own life going, anything more is rude and anything less is unhealthy.

If it sounds like I'm sort of bitter, I am. I've done a lot of hard looking at myself in the last year, and I haven't always liked what I've found. But honestly, in a way, I believe it's been the best thing that ever happened to me. I've learned that by confronting the things about myself that are less than satisfactory, at least they're brought into the sort of focus that allows me to begin dealing with them, and putting them behind me.

I've made a lot of progress. I have a lot more to make. And although in several ways I'm still the same disjointed, scattered, disappointed person I've always sort of been, I see a lot of things much more clearly now, and I'm able to see myself more realistically.

That's a good thing :)

ps, I just woke up. I'm always obnoxiously grouchy when I just wake up. I'll probably re-read this later and be horribly embarassed at how very self-indulgent it is. But it is, above all things, a bluntly honest expression of how I really feel about the events of the last year.

- dave

"If I was stronger, I could be a mountain range. If night was longer, could I escape the day?"

dave {dave@fraust.com}

Eighteen years. Nearly my entire career. I gave them my life.

They told me goodbye with donuts at the usual morning meeting.

It wasn’t their fault I gave them too much; only that they saw so little.

Such a tiny grace to have had the usual farewell. A foolish gift. A few moments of their attention to say goodbye. How many luncheons had I attended? A hundred? More? How many dollars had I dropped into the hat to purchase a memento?

Just a few knew how this last slight would hurt. One wrote the traditional poem read at every luncheon and slipped it into my hands with a smile meant to vanish the others from my thoughts. Another brought a simple card, inscribed with two lines that meant the world to me. The last hugged me tightly to him as I left and whispered never to forget what a difference I had made.

Ten minutes and it was over. Barely 30 seconds for each year. Some there might not have realized this was my goodbye, it was so easy to confuse it with morning coffee.

I don’t drink coffee and rarely eat donuts. I wonder if they knew.

Recalling the sadness of that yesterday only brightens the pleasure of today. Happy Birthday fray!

Michele

I haven't accomplished half of what I'd intended, but I have received a great deal of well-deserved praise this year.

I've become close with people who have changed my life, who have made me feel confident, beautiful, and worthy again.

You know who you are.

I've things I need to be angry about, but also much to be thankful for.

kris kendrick {kris@gobox.com}

I have no festive Birthday stories to tell. I have no stories at all. After 47 years I'm still looking for "a life." I'm trying to decide if a "life" with a glass screen in front of me is really a "life" at all. I have questions - not stories. But I have enjoyed reading The Fray since I discovered it a few months ago. Maybe that's a story in itself. Happy Birthday, I wish you many more!

Nancy {nancyhas@digital.net}