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My New Year's resolution is to get rejected.

Both professionally and romantically, I'm shooting for rejection.

Huh? Too much champagne, you ask?

I don't actually crave rejection. But rejection is a means to an end. I want to get over my fear of being turned down and I can't think how else to do it.

I need to take a few shots to the jaw and condition myself that rejection isn't the end of the world.

It's not, right?

I consider myself a writer, yet I've never received a rejection letter. Because I'm that good? No. Because I never submit anything.

But maybe if I make rejection a goal, then it will help me take baby step towards my bigger dreams.

Same goes with relationships. More rejection in '99!

I don't get much rejection from women, either. Because I'm such a stud? Well, partly. But also because I don't ask women out.

New Year's Eve always makes me think of relationships and my lack thereof. It's that 15 minutes before midnight when drunken people attach to each other in anticipation of the midnight kiss. I hate that period of time. And like the tricky imp that Time is, those 15 minutes seem to take an eternity. I've been stressing about those 15 minutes for days.

In the symbolic rush of the new year, the air is alive with potential. Even though I'm surrounded by people, I feel alone. I'm no hideous ogre, I just have an irrational fear of rejection.

If only I put myself out there and took some risks, I could have a chance at meeting someone special. Maybe I'll have an extra glass of bubbly and proposition someone on New Year's Eve. Who knows? We might get along great and start the new year in each other's embrace.

Or better yet, maybe she would reject me.


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What's your New Year's resolution?


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