Have you tried to quit?
Did it work?
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I was 23, out of college, and in love. A few months after we'd started dating, my then-boyfriend started smoking. "I just want to see what it's like," he said. "I'll quit as soon as I get addicted." This was one of his ploys to get me to quit. Another was to take my burning cigarettes and put them out on his hand. Without delving into the psychology of that act, I'll just say it was a disturbing thing to watch.
But I loved this man, and so one night when he asked me when I was going to quit I said, "uh, right now, I guess." I put out my cigarette and didn't light up another one until four years later, after we'd broken up.
Quitting cold turkey is hard, but it worked for me. I should mention that I was tripping when he asked me this (we both were), so I had other things on my mind than running down to the 7-11 when the next nic fit hit. The next day, I dared myself to get through it without smoking. It became a series of dares, until one day when I didn't need to taunt myself anymore. I was breathing easier -- the morning chest pains had disappeared -- food tasted amazing -- and I realized how disgusting smokers smell. Bleah. It was easy to not start up again.
I had to change a few behaviors, though: bars and other smoke-filled places were right out. I gave up coffee for tea. Driving was difficult, because I always smoked in the car, but I got over it. And eventually I was able to go back to clubs and drink my morning cuppa joe without hesitation.
Seven years after quitting I consider myself a "social smoker". I still smoke in bars -- beer makes me crave cigarettes, so I'll bum one, smoke half of it and be done. But that's about it.
I still think the smoke looks cool, though.
...I started running to force my body to reject cigarettes. I managed to quit and enter in a 10K race.
I was feeling good and performed well in the race. This only lasted for 8 months. Wouldn't you know it? It was a emotional disaster that made me bum a cigarette and I've smoked ever since.
Sure, I say I'm going to quit. Sure, I cough slimy strings of yellow. But I'm lazy. I set the house rule of "No Smoking in the House" [except my bedroom]. I don't need to move. I sit online and type and chat and design and code and drink and smoke.
I feel like shit and I constantly try and foreshadow "quitting-cold-turkey" is going to make me unbearable. I've come down from a pack and a half a day. I smoke a pack a day now. I'd be happy to quit although I never can figure out why I don't have the motivation to do so. I've seen rotten lungs, I've seen people die. Cancer, heart attacks-anything that could be smoking related. A good friend had a genetic lung collapse. He smoked. He stopped. Did I?
No way. Smoking in my life is just there. I keep telling myself that I can quite anytime I want to - I just don't want to yet. And I don't. I've been hacking up a lung for the past month because of a bout with a cold/flu/bronchitis/whatever that I can't shake off, and I'm sure the smoking doesn't help.
But I can quit anytime I want to... Never.
Maybe if I was pregnant.
Maybe.
Alexis Massie {pandora@pbot.com} Well, I came home one night not feeling well. It just sort of laid there, then all at once I was throwing up so hard I thought my eyes would pop out of their sockets. I mean, I was roaring and this stringy, wretched muck was all over the place. I would rest after a little while and think my stomach was settled and then... BAM! I spent hours there on the bathroom floor poised at the side of the porcelain convenience and got maybe three hours of sleep.
From that day to this, I have never again had mussels in maranara over fetuccini.
I have smoked on occasion, however.
Lance {no.bad.habits@glassdog.com} I smoke for one reason alone: to make that Fuck-I-Need-A-Cigarette-Real-Bad feeling go away.
I do want to quit. Smoking is disgusting. It is environmentally irresponsible. It harms my health and that of others. It wastes resources and causes pollution. It is trendy in that Trainspotting way that I hate so much. It adds to the pollution in the air. It has greatly harmed my singing voice, which used to be very good. It uses up a lot of my money, and I do not have much money. It makes my apartment dirty and makes my clothes, my furniture, my breath and my hair smell. It says things about me that I do not want others to know.
I have been addicted to smoking for almost 14 years.
Thinking about this makes me feel so guilty and so upset with myself that it happens ... I get that Fuck-I-Need-A-Cigarette-Real-Bad feeling.
And then I light another. As for quitting, I have nothing to offer but the lame joke that I've done it a hundred times. Maybe when I start coughing up blood, maybe not. I just like it too much. Ya gotta have a few vices...
mark {markuz@sirius.com} i also have stopped many times, and always restarted again - i am a smoker again right now. but i can and always have stopped whenever i wanted to - usually due to who i was spending most of my time with. when i went to college i was hanging around with a lot of people none of whom smoked, so i stopped really soon after. and started once i stopped hanging around with them. i've never been addicted to nicotine (or anything) and i hope i never am.
kaleid {kaleid@deathsdoor.com} I guess every intelligent smoker wants to quit in some way. My mom was a three pack a day smoker, she swears when she's on her way out she'll take it up again. She's been trying to get me and my dad off of them for nearly a decade. And now that everyone has to stand outside in the cold - or in some fish tank, he's nearly there. Me, I moved to europe, people are much more tolerant here. The one summer I smoked heavily (everything I could get my hands on), not even a singed uvula could stop me. I had a sore throat from that broken pipe filter for 6 weeks. And then school started again, and the weather got cold, got warm, got cold, got warm, and I ended up with bronchitis. Now it's my body's rule: If I can't breathe because my allergies are active, I don't smoke. And in the clear moments I'll sneak into the basket on top of my fridge and grab a light menthol.
Susan M. Paulsen {netgrl@cinti.net} Quite simply...on a bet.
We were heading back to Nova Scotia for a vacation...none of our family smoked...my husband and I said, "Once on the plane...no more smoking."
I stopped.
He didn't.
Jennifer {jworden@meadoworks.ns.ca} I found the perfect way: spend seven days in the hospital fighting a vicious deadly disease that makes every cell in your body feel like warmed-over shit. When you get out, you're so happy to be alive that you can't imagine polluting your body with smoke and toxins. That was good for almost three months. I hate these jerkoffs who can smoke a cig or two a week, or only in bars, or blah-blah-blah. I'd like to enjoy my cigarette when I want it, and not feel so guilty about the long-term effect on my health that it shades the whole experience. I hate the feeling that it's people like me that keep the tobacco lobby rolling in it.
dirk {dirk@highlander.com} Sometimes Ill quit for a couple weeks at a time. Just long enough for myself to forget about cigarettes, then Ill walk down the street and get a wiff of inviting cigarette smoke. Shortly, there after Im lighting up also. Though, Ive decided to only smoke brands I havent smoked before and those with interesting packaging. Eventually, maybe Ill run out of new cigarette brands, then I suppose Ill quit.
garrick {gvan0114@rz.uni-hildesheim.de} I was in the army, and one morning in particuliar I had the duty of scrubbing the shower stalls. The soap scum was bad so I mixxed some various amonia and scum cleaners together.. after about 5 minutes of useing it in the enclosed space, I was light headed.. I walked out onto the breeze way and suddenly was assulted with the most AWFULL stench I could ever recall. I just thought it was the after effects of the amonia.. I decided to take a smoke break, and lit one up.. the stench magnified 10 fold!, I began a sneezing fit, till I put out the butt... then I realized there were others smoking about 30 yars up wind of me.. "THAT"S what the stench was.. it was the cigeretts!.. " Somehoe the fumes from the cleaners had "stripped" out my sinuses and made them SUPER sensitive.
I'll never forget that stench.. how nausious it made me.. or how silly I must have looked for the next 3 days smoking and holding my nose at the same time..
OK.. So I'm stubborn.. but if I decide to quit, that's how I'll start.. by cleaning scummy shower stalls.
Matt erickson {answer@mosquitonet.com} I quit for two years for a boyfriend. We broke up and I distinctly remember walking to the 7-11 and getting clove cigarettes. They are sweet and luxurious. That was just to get me started again. Now it is American Spirit and Camel Lights.
My current boyfriend smokes, and I remember when I first scoped him out at a party and saw him smoking I thought "Oh cool!". Sick.
Now we both try to quit. We tried before our vacation to Mexico. Bad idea. Smoking is important while traveling. Now we have fallen in with a cocktail party crowd. Smoking is almost required.
Someday...
isaanne {iaanne@best.com} I gave up tobacco ten years ago, at the same time I gave up alcohol and other drugs. I never wanted to smoke cigarettes, but I picked one up one day when I didn't have a joint handy and one thing led to another. I was so distracted by staying off pot and booze that I didn't really think much about tobacco. I don't miss it at all, though I have no doubt that if I ever got drunk or stoned again, I'd find a cigarette in my hand pretty quick.
John Banks {jdbanks@azstarnet.com} We used to sneak cigarettes from the people we babysat for in Jr. High, while lip synching to Diana Ross & The Supremes, Stop in the Name of Love. That was about 1967. That's when smoking was cool. Now it's just necessary at certain times, like when imbibing.
I don't smoke during the day, at work, never in the morning. But I'll light up in the car on the way home, or after the gym (healthy) and always with beer and straight shots of tequilla.
You would think I could quit easily since I'm like an occasional smoker. But that won't happen until I quit drinking. What was my New Year's Resolution again?
Willameina {Willy@kalama.com} The reason for me to quit was when I was goimg to live with my girlfriend. She never smoked. I was used to smoke cigars!!!!!. Those things penetrate your whole house and the rest. I had to chose. My cigars or my girlfriend...... Now it's my girlfriend and I like it.
I stopped 3 years ago. Occasionaly I lite a cigarette and feel sick after a draft. I hope it stays that way and I hope that my motivation ( my girlfriend stays too ).
Willem {hupkesw@digitaal.nl} i'll quit when i die.
just kidding. i really want to quit and have tried several times. but it hasn't worked because i really like smoking. alot.
my boyfriend wants me to quit. and i will when we're finally living in the same city and he can give me something else to do with my hands and mouth. I just quit about three weeks ago. I guess to most smokers, that means "I stopped for awhile."
I quit because we've been trying to get pregnant for seven months and I read that smoking decreased your chances by 25 percent in the first year.
I learned five days after I quit that I was two weeks pregnant, so now I'm not drinking either, which helps omit the urges.
I needed a good reason to quit because I've never liked it that I smoked. My parents were non-smokers and I went to a very college prep school in the early 80s when smoking wasn't cool. I never admitted it to non-smokers - my parents, employers, my health insurance forms. My husband MUST have known even though I denied it every time he smelled it - "Oh, my gosh, you can *smell* that? I was STUCK in an elevator with this guy who would NOT put it out. We actually argued over it..." My lie went on and on since I know that embellished lies are better than abrupt "No!" denials.
In fact, I don't like admitting it here, so much, although my employers would never look at fray.com and my husband doesn't even know how to launch a browser.
So I only smoked with confirmed, admitted smokers and boy did we have fun! Adriene while she did her nails, complainer Keith while he complained, little-boy John while we watched grunge bands (1990, okay?)
I haven't missed it, yet, although I have imagined how ugly I'd look blowing smoke out the window with my two-month-old strapped in its car seat, trying to keep smoke out of the baby clothes. I have been hearing about the bad-for-your-health -and-everybody-else's stuff for longer than I care to recall. It has no effect other than to engender a vague sense of guilt.
But I believe that if someone had told me when I was 16 that I would be spending enough for an international vacation EVERY YEAR on NOTHING AT ALL it may have had some effect.
Smoking may be unhealthy, be evidence of an addictive personality, be somehow declasse, but it is certainly EXPENSIVE.
Ken {kenniel@ozemail.com.au} I found out I was pregnant. I stopped smoking well.. almost cold turkey. My boyfriend decided he wasn't ready for the responsibility, and told me to have an abortion. I smoked a few. We debated for weeks. I got the smoking under control. For almost 5 months I managed it, but I'm one of the people who actually likes to smoke, and it was never easy. My son died in utero, no known cause, I started smoking 3 times more than I had before.
I planned the next pregnancy, but with the nerves about losing another one, quitting was harder. I did very well, but as I approached the stage where I had lost the first one, I started smoking a few cigarettes a day again. I got past the 5 month point and rested eaier, stopped smoking again. A month later, my daughter died in utero, no known cause.I currently smoke 1 to 3 packs a day depending on how much down time I have.
If I'm ever brave enough to try the motherhood gig again, I don't know if I'll bother to quit. I hardly seems to have been worth it.
Phoenix {phoenix@asan.com} I'm not a jock. But we went and played a game of basketball one summer afternoon. Six of us, all smokers. Five minutes into the game, we took a break - everyone was weezing and out of breath.
I'm a little bit more of an artist. That night, playing guitar with someone, I lit up again.
These days I don't smoke anymore. It's not satisfaction for the jock in me. It is a disappointment for the artist in me, though. The musicians I look up to I see with the cigarette in hand, in mouth, on guitar between the strings next to the keys...
Cold turkey. New Years eve. A friend of mine convinced me that "we shouldn't be doing this anyways". Anyhow, I had been lighting up lately, having half the smoke, and putting it out. Feeling disgusted with myself. Until I had another craving.
I quit. My friend started again.
Remi {erd3515@umoncton.ca} I quit a few times. Said I would quit at thirty. That lasted two months. I decided I wasn't having any fun any more. My good friends smoked. Almost all recreational activity was associated with smoking. I picked it up again...
I got a cat. He coughed and coughed like he had five pound hairballs, but nothing ever came out. He hacked so much I couldn't sleep. I was told that he had asthma, and was allergic to cigarette smoke. I stopped smoking in the house.
One day at work, a friend of mine walked into my office and this ungodly stink followed her. I decided to quit again. Shortly thereafter, emotional upset killed my resolve.
I learned that my father got a pacemaker. His father died with emphysema. Cancer is a member of the family. I met militant-nonsmoking marriage material. I decided to join a gym. I couldn't breathe. It was time.
It took a visit to a hypnotherapist...a motivational cassett...graphic photos of various vital organs with cancerous growths...
There are times when I really want to smoke.
And there are times when I can't believe I ever did.
Tandy Margaret I never considered trying to quit. I had always enjoyed smoking and assumed that when I no longer enjoyed it, I would stop. And that would be it; I wouldnt quit and fail over and over again in an endless cycle of self-depreciation. I would just stop smoking.
And I did.
I stood in the snow in Michigan in 1993 New Year's Day and smoked my last cigarette with a friend at 10:37 a.m. That was over two years ago and I have yet to smoke again. Friends, family and co-workers are proud and tell me so. I'm feeling better than I have for a long time. But I had help.
That fall, I had tried to stop with the Great American Smokeout. I worked at a newspaper in Santa Barbara then, and my editor had put me on assignment to spend the day without cigarettes and write about it. I had been smoking a pack a day for nearly a decade and that day I went through utter hell. I felt nauseous, I was pale, I was cold but sweating, I begged coworkers to end my life. It was, to say the least, an enlightening experience.
I also visited the doctor that day. He informed me that I was part of only 10 percent of white males who smoke in the state of California. He listed a dozen other statistics as well regarding the number of people who drop dead from the habit each year and the amount spent on health care to treat those who dont die. But I had heard that all before.
So I went the day without smoking and then went right back to it. But it was with a nagging sense of guilt that I continued to smoke. I felt it at parties, watching people enjoy themselves as I stood on the patio smoking. I felt it at restaurants, waiting the extra 20 minutes for a table. And I felt it in the morning, when I would wake up coughing from the weight that seemed to press down on my lungs.
So I made the decision to quit. I was to spend the holidays back east with friends and planned to fly home conveniently on New Years Day. Although not much for tradition, I made a resolution. And, knowing how hard the first day is, I was assured by the fact that I'd be spending the majority of it on a plane where I couldn't smoke anyway. It seemed like the perfect solution.
It got better. New Years morning I awoke unable to breath. It had been well below zero in Michigan and I had obviously acclimated to the Santa Barbara climate. I was deathly ill with a cold. I managed to have one more smoke that morning (smokers will attest to the fact that they can smoke no matter how sick they are) and dropped the rest of the pack into the foot-deep snow.
"Thats it," I said to my friend. "I dont smoke anymore." I made a point of saying it that way. I wasnt trying to quit. I was done.
My illness continued to worsen in the days following, and I was on a number of medications to ease the symptoms. And when the sickness went away, I found the urge to smoke was gone as well. The pain I felt from the cold had covered the withdrawal.
So even though I was lucky enough to be spared the physical effects of quitting, Im still plagued with an occasional yet powerful psychological craving. Ive become painfully aware of the things my mind associates with the act of smoking: finishing a meal, driving to work in the morning, finishing something that Ive been writing.
And somtimes I still miss it. I enjoyed coming home from work and sharing a cigarette with my wife. I miss the relaxing, after dinner cigarette that would begin the evenings conversations. Or the warm taste with coffee on a cold morning.
My life is so different now. I live in San Francisco now, with far more smokers than in Santa Barbara. And last year I rode my mountian bike 4,000 miles. I'm changed.
But after all of that, you know what I miss the most? Taking five minutes to do nothing but smoke at regular intervals durring the day. I've sped up; filled in the moments when I would catch a smoke and sit and think.
It's a fair trade...
jeffrey veen {jeff@hotwired.com} I only quit once and this is how it happened:
I was watching television one day and the american cancer club, or whatever it was, ran a commercial that simply consisted of film of a person walking a bicycle away from the camera. At one point the person jumped in the air to click their heels - freeze - lettered across the screen: "I kicked the habit."
That's all it took. I must have been 33 or so and had been smoking since I was 13 or 14. I didn't smoke after that for a long time - several years, in fact.
I started smoking again. First one cigarette a day, then a couple, then a couple more. Within a couple of months I was back to about a pack a day, or more, depending on the type and strength and circumstances.
I smoked until I was 49 and cannot honestly say I quit at that time but I don't smoke any more. This is what happened.
Shortly before my 49th birthday I suffered temporary blindness in my left eye (amorsia fugax). I went to an optometrist (no problem) who sent me to an ophthmalneurologist (no problem) who prescribed ultrasonic examination of my carotid arteries (in the neck that feed blood to the brain).
The ultrasound indicated that the arteries were both blocked, the left one severely so. I was told this was due to cholesterol accumulation (occlusion) in the artery and that this plaque was flaking off, floating up the artery and blocking the retinal artery of my left eye, rendering me sightless.
During the month after the first experience of blindness, I had 5 more occurences - I would suddenly, simply not be able to see out of the left eye. It was as if someone had covered my windshield with mud. Then, several minutes later, the mud would wash away and my vision would be back to normal.
After the 6th incident, I called a doctor who appointed me to visit a vascular surgeon who specialized in the apparent disorder - occlusion of the carotid artery - and who had pioneered several techniques for the corrective surgery - carotid endarterectomy (reaming out the artery).
The doctor told me that high cholesterol was to blame but that the condition was strongly exaserbated by smoking. He said I would have to quit. As soon as I got out of his sight, I lit up.
I smoked up until the morning I went to the hospital for surgery. I sat in the car in the parking lot and chain-smoked three non-filtered mexican cigarettes - my brand of choice - got out of the car and went into the hospital. I had a vague notion that I would quit when I got out but, really, wanted to get inside to get the matter done with so I could get out and have another smoke!
I was in the hospital for 25 hours. When I left, surgery succesfully completed, I didn't have the least desire for a cigarette. It was as if when the surgeon cut all the crap out of my artery he cut my entire interest in tobacco out with it. I went home, worked for two weeks with two open packs of cigarettes on the shelf right next to my desk without even the slightest inclination to light up. Finally I threw the packs away and have not smoked since.
I have no problem with people smoking around me nor even in my house. I have never liked the smell of funky ashtrays and still don't but the smell of smoke does not bother me.
I cannot say I quit that time - all I can say is that, all of a sudden, I didn't do it any more.
Go figure !!! My mom smoked when she was pregnant, so I guess you could say I've been a smoker all my life. I remember how Mom and Dad's smoke used to gag me when they'd both light up in the car or at the dining room table during dinner. I'd piss and moan and they'd make fun of me. "I'll NEVER smoke," I swore, "It's so STUPID!" Of course, once it came to a question of looking cool or not, I smoked. It tasted pretty good. And one was all it took, really. I was hooked already. Then I spent twenty years as a slave to the fucking things. Always had to have them on me. Never went more than half an hour without one. I tried to quit a thousand times and never made it more than a day or two. My brain would rebel. "You must smoke, fool! Ciggys-ciggys-CIGGYS!!" Two years ago Christmas day, Dad died of congestive heart failure and emphysema. Fifty years of two packs a day finally caught up with him. I spent the last twelve hours of his life next to his bed while he choked and squirmed and raved. Dying hurt him. So I quit. I still want to smoke. I think of smoking every day. But I've seen the upshot. If you want to quit - I mean really want to quit, I recommend you watch someone you love die a painful, gurgling death while you sit there, helpless to comfort them. Beats the hell out of the patch.
Clay Frost {frost@accessone.com} Some jerk was spreading a serious flu/lung infection around my junior college, and I got it. It was rough breathing, but with a smoke, it almost shut down entirely. Menthols were no different.
Forced to stop for three weeks, I figured most of it was out of my system, so... that was it! For another year, there were always cigarettes with me, but never inhaled.
The next six months were a little difficult, but the pound of ganja used as a substitute was a daily reminder of the true, disgusting nature of tobacco. Almost twenty years later, some of my friends can't quit.
James Walker {jimbag@mailmasher.com} I haven't quit smoking yet...I would like to since I have a three year old in the house, and it isn't fair to her that I fill her lungs with smoke. Also because it would be healthy for me as well...one of these days I suspect I will get tired of it...or it will get tired of me...*shrug*
kat {niahm@cris.com} after 4 years of smoking i tried to quit for the first time this past thanksgiving day. about a week later i moved into an apartment with my girlfriend. i was a wreck for two months. instead of relieving my stress with a cigarette i'd get cranky and we'd fight. the day she left me i started smoking again.
i think it was worth it...
andre {andre@frontside.com} I decided to quit smoking last year. I decided in the same way that I normally choose between life-altering courses: half-heartedly. And I failed. Then I decided to do something kind of strange. I received a packet in the mail from Marlboro, proclaiming the benefits of smoking their brand to collect box-tops for prizes. And I decided, half-heartedly, to collect box-tops. When I got my prize, I would quit. I mean, I might as well get Cancer AND a Swiss Army watch, right? In January, I got my watch. And a few days later, I bought a box of patches, slapped one on my left arm, and quit. One day, I forgot my patch. I took it as a hint to stop using it. So far, so good. Some days are tougher than others, but it's really not that bad.
Mike Farris {mikef999@mindspring.com} Smoking is all I have vice-wise. I've given up food and I never smoked pot with any vigor - funny, by the time i was introduced to pot at age 13, I had already taken up smoking. Only about a week before, but I liked smoking because it made me feel grown up. So - when I tried to smoke a joint and got cotton mouth, cigarettes weren't fun for me, and the decision was made. There is a saying that you need to find your reason to quit. I always assumed mine would be getting pregnant. I also thought that would have happenned by now, and I would have quit then.
But - now I'm 31 and I may never have kids, so I'm hoping a different reason will assert itself. It's a stupid rationalization, but I keep thinking that smopking has kept me from using other drugs. I've been around a lot of them, from coke to smack and back, but smoking - the fear of something messing with my enjoyment of cigarettes, has kept me from being experimental. I just think "it only took me ten minutes to get addicted to these - imagine if I took heroin?" It's dog logic, sure. But it works for me right now. I am a recovering addict of various substances. . including at one time, nicotine.
I lived with other people trying to stay clean for almost two years. They had successfully quit:
and they could not - COULD NOT- stop smoking. And they were always trying. Nicotine is a mother fucker.
Good luck. We are powerless of nicotine.
Anonymous Every time I wanted a cigarette, I'd chew on some nails instead. It took eight months and a lot of visits to the denist, not to mention guts and heartache, but I haven't smoked since.
Greg O'Keefee i recall my first smoke like the smell of cat litter in my auntie suzie's farm. it was me and uncle joe- hidin' on the rump side of an old hoot-owl barn- and we both knew one whiff ment straight to bed with no supper. i hated the old fella, an' he had 'smuch regard for me as a coot in the trash- but boy could he laugh!
i quit about ten years later, and me an captian tabaccy just ain't been neighborly since. and uncle joe, well...lets jus' say he missed supper more than that ole' coot!
nancy "knickers" dillon Three weeks and counting! How it started: I was standing in front of a coffee shop waiting for a friend and i got a look at myself in the tinted window. Through the cloud of smoke my face looked tired and worn out. I didn't stop smoking right then, but that image was in my mind when i made the decision. I'd like to say i feel great, but i don't. In fact, i'd like to come right over there and smack you in the face...
andre torrez {andre@frontside.com} I tried to quit 100 times. After I had some cool kids I really wanted to quit. I thought about quitting all the time. I was up to about 2 1/2 packs per day. (I know!) One day I was wandering around a bookstore when a book jumped off the shelf at me. It was marked down, half price, about 20 pages long. The title was _Thirty One Days to Stopping Smoking_. I followed the plan. I got blisters on my tongue from chewing cinnamon sticks. My weight increased from 115 pounds to 150 pounds in three months.
Really, the reason I never quit for good before was because I was afraid of becoming a porker. By this time, I wanted to quit more than I was afraid of getting fat.
That was seven years ago. I have not smoked since I picked up that little book. I lost the weight, too, by running about 20 miles per week. Being un-obsessed with cigarettes left me a lot of free thought-time to fill with learning about health.
My dad died a couple of years ago; I don't think it was because he played a lot of golf. I didn't know him for many years, but we got reaquainted t two years before he died. He smoked like a fiend. Brain and lung cancer killed him.
Once this guy who appraised shotguns came to my house to look at my husband's guns. I swear to God, the guy had a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth and tubes running out of his nose to an oxygen tank he wheeled around behind him everywhere he went.
I was amazed by this guy! I thought stuff like,"Oh, my God! He looks like hell! He's all gray, and creviced, and bent the hell over, sucking the life out of himself on a cigarette, while he drags his life around behind him!"
But he didn't inspire me to quit.
dee {dlfuller@ionia-mi.net} mainly i didn't want to be old and crusty and have a horrible singing voice. it's my aspirations to be a vocalist that helped me to quit, also, i started dating a guy who was not a smoker, and while he never EVER said anything about it, and always insisted that it didn't bother him, i knew it had to be gross to kiss me after i'd just had a cig. after i quit he told me he was really glad i did. but i also know i could still be doing it and he'd still be with me. i think it was easy for me to quit cold turkey like i did because i'd only been smoking regular for about a year, and it was marlboro ultra lites. also, i'm orally fixated. yeah, i gained weight. but i have my tongue pierced now and it helps, i think. maybe. sometimes i think i want a cigarette. like, when i'm stressing. and sometimes i'll bum a drag - just a drag - off someone, and i end up getting sick to my stomach. it's all psychological with me.
I always had this plan...
You see, when I smoke grass, I tend to stop smoking cigarettes, so I thought one day when I could afford to smoke grass every day, I'd stop rolling joints with tobacco, and just smoke pure weed.
Unfortunately, I've developed an allergy to grass, so I can't smoke it anymore without having a bout of hayfever symptoms that last for days. So I suppose I'll never give up cigarettes...
BaZ {baz@dwpub.com} I just said, "NO!" Na, I'm just kidding. It wasn't easy, but here's what I found out from the experience. There are 2 kinds of smokers. The type like me, who are more into the hands being busy with a cigarette thing. And the 2nd type-- the true nicotine addict. God help the people in the 2nd group. It is totally possible to quit if you want to either way, but the tecnique is totallly different for the 2 groups. Here's whatchadoo....Group one must go cold turkey--they have no choice. If they want to, they can carry a pen around and chew on that all day. But if they try to "ween" themselves, it will never work. Group 2 cannot, under any bet, threat, or plea from a loved one, quit in this manner. They must ween. They have no chioce. They must also be extremely serious about it. Try licking a dirty ashtray each time you want a cancer stick. And do keep something in you hands-- but not a lighter. I quit well over 10 years ago. If I can do it, you can, tool Good luck. RA.
RA {ra@treco.net} 10 YEARS OLD- PHILIP MORRIS UNFILTERED CAMEL UNFILTERED (REALLY GOOOOD) KOOL UNFILTERED (REALLY GOOOOD) SALEM FILTER / TORN OFF VARIOUS BUMMED BRANDS ROTHMANS (REALLY GOOOOD) HAND ROLLED VARIETIES (REALLY GOOOOD) 16 YEARS OLD- QUIT 6 WEEKS HAND ROLLED VARIETIES 18 YEARS OLD- QUIT 6 MONTHS HAND FILTERED VARIETIES 29 YEARS OLD- QUIT 35-38 YEARS OLD- SAW 3 PEOPLE I KNEW DIE SLOW, PAINFUL DEATHS IN THE HOSPITAL. HOPE I QUIT SOON ENUF.
Yes. I've tried.
At 22, I started my life over, and also, I quit smoking. I went seven years without a cig.
At 29, I got divorced and lost custody of my kid. Cigs seemed like the appropriate vice.
I'm 33 now. I haven't quit yet. I'm thinking something will happen to me at 40 or 44 to trigger another seven year bout of abstinence.
I hate the smell and the way my lungs feel in the morning. I saved and collected used butts and made a sweet looking teddy bear out of them. I just spent the last two days scrubbing a yellow tinge off the white paneled walls of my duplex, and it was a bitch to do all that work, but here I sit, typing my words and "puff puff," another one gone.
A Spilthy Girl {ibidem@boisdarc.tamu-commerce.edu} I've been trying off and on since I started - almost three years ago. I started late, at age 25. I used to be a jock. Ran 20 miles without a problem, hiked mountains. Now I can't climb the stairs to my 4-story walk-up without breathing heavy. And running a block to catch an approaching bus makes my chest tighten and my legs burn. I've got a free 2-week pass to a gym, and I'm getting the courage to go back. It's been sitting on my desk for two weeks now. Maybe realizing just how out-of-shape I am will motivate me. But my fear of failing at anything has kept me away from the gym for over three years. I have a constant little cough, my teeth are turning yellow and I always smell like smoke. I can quit for almost a day, but always have one or two. It never seems like a good time to quite - too much stress at work, etc. I always thought I could do anything I put my mind to. I'm not so sure anymore.
John {johnspear@earthlink.net} I got food poisioning at a chinatown Thai place and could not eat solid food for 8 or 9 days. I was so fucked by the virus, tht it was like I forgot that I smoked at all. When I got better, I realized that I had not smoked the whole time, so I quit. 2 1/2 years so far - but I still miss it sometimes. So if you're thinking of quitting, take a walk down Bayard street, you might just get lucky... What is the difference between I Want Sex & I Want To Smoke? Consent. A simple choice of action.
DDeublein {DDeublein@aol.com} An Anatomy Lesson
One cadaver assigned per two students, Ours, curiously younger than the others; Face, smooth; mustache, only slightly peppered.
Lungs, sludge-coated, befouled. Cause of death: lung cancer. A lesson, powerfully-taught. I quit cold-turkey, that evening.
First, one life possibly spared; then two. My darling quit, out of his sweet love for me. Your compelling lesson driven home, we are well, and still so in love, these eighteen years later.
Thank you, kind stranger, superb teacher.
lei {sweetlei@ix.netcom.com} I've tried to quit more times than I can count. Try...goes good for about a week...then it's back to the mainline. It's a very psychological thing. If I make a big production of it (i.e. tell everyone I see that I'm quitting), the quitting stint is shorter. But if I have a nonchalant attitude, I tend to be more succesful. "Oh, yeah...no big deal...i'm just 'cuttin' down". Nonetheless, I don't succeed...but the 'non-smoking' period is much longer. I still have yet to try things like the 'gum' or the patch...but somewhere inside of me, I feel that the only real quitting is without help. Maybe that's stupid, maybe it's ignorant...but DAMMIT, that's how I feel!!
So, I keep lighting up and I keep 'quitting'. I knew it was coming for some time. I had already given up smoking in restaurants (before it was illegal). In those days I was traveling a great deal, but always in the non-smoking section of airplanes, even those going non-stop coast to coast. Don't get me wrong, I was a true smoker. I had been smoking for 25 years and loved it. I did a lot of high country backpacking. On the top of Mt. Whitney just as soon as I caught my breath I lit up.
But as much as I enjoyed it I could start to see all the "negative" aspects of smoking. Yes, I was beginning to submit to the anti-smoking propaganda. However, I never have been much of a follower and, as always, I was still bull headed so I smoked on.
In 1985 an event occurred that changed my life forever - my wife and I had a baby boy. It was an extremely difficult birth, our boy spent a week in intensive care and my wife remained in the hospital. I went home alone. I smoked like a fiend. I was sorry for all of us. There was no post birth "bonding" and all that. Then it hit me: we got this boy now, we gotta make things best we can, he is NOT going to grow up with a smoker!! And that was it - I stopped cold turkey.
I had found something larger than my own self gratification, something more important than smoking, something that added to my growing dissatisfaction with tobacco and put me over the top so I could finally truly quit. My son's well being and that of my wife's too gave me the strength to stop.
Skip {malibu@pipeline.com} I started smoking when I was eleven or twelve years old. My dad smoked Camel straights, and my mom smoked Kents with the 'Miconite filter.' I would steal their cigarettes and smoke them with my fiends. I remember quitting for a short while, maybe until I was fifteen, but I started smoking again and didn't quit until last year at forty. When I was thirty-three, I quit drinking and using drugs. I wanted to quit smoking, too, but I told my self that I needed at least one vice: smoking. I have stayed smoke-free since June 97 but not nicotine-free. I quit smoking using Nicorette gum, and I'm still chewing the shit. I've stopped chewing for a few days, but my wife is also chewing it so it's easy to start again. The gum is expensive, but it does work. The only problem is I've kept chewing it too long. Maybe I'll stop using it, but you know everyone needs at least one vice, don't they?
Dale {dales95@mindspring.com} orit:"i tried once. but now i'm back." ron:"i didn't try to quit. i just started to smoke". orit:"i know someone who succeeded though..." ron(bursting into orit's words):"who ? who? who?" orit:"you don't know him. he just died recently". ron:"how?" orit:"don't you want to know." ron:"i do. i do. i do." orit:"he fell off the roller coaster in the park". ron:"oh, shit. i'm so sorry." orit:"nnaaa. it's not your fault."
ron and orit I quit lots of times. I'm really good at it.
Matt {Matt@netcraftstudio.com} I probably enjoyed nicotine in utero as my mother smoked during her pregnancy. Parents smoked in the car with the windows sealed in the cold New York winters.
Started smoking in my late teens, grass as well and smoked fairly religiously until I was 33. Stopped smoking for a woman but started again on a trip to Germany where smoking, well, it's the law, you know.
Met another woman, a wonderful woman and fell in love. Sheessentially asked me to choose a mistress - smoking or her. So, I told her to hit the road....just kidding, I quit cigs and grass. It's been 3 months and I feel good but not a day goes by where I don't feel the need.
And a friend told me that quitting for 3 months is like quitting for 1 day. So ya gotta be vigilant. Good luck.
Oh, yeah - my grandfather told me to cultivate my vices as one day they'd be my virtues (!)
eric {eric.wesoff@celeritek.com} I got really sick.
Missy Reilly {marei@mindspring.com} well.. im sorta new to this.. i quit yesterday... just realized that it wasnt fun any more .. :) i hope that i still hope that!
Peter Andrén {pandren@writeme.com} I became addicted to nicotine in one of the most stupid ways possible. I smoked a lot of dope with an old boyfriend, always through bucket bongs, ie no tobacco. When we split up, and I got involved with someone else who smoked cigarettes, I carried my ganja habit with me, but instead of doing bongs, we'd both smoke joints mixed with Bank. From there, for the next 2 and a half years, my addiction to tobacco grew and grew, until I found myself rolling a cigarette in the morning with only the merest pinch of dope. I started smoking rollies through the day, and realised suddenly (?!) I was addicted to tobacco. I gave up smoking tobacco about 3 months ago. I still smoke grass, but only through a bong with no tobacco mixed in. The ads released in the media freaked me out, and the cost was getting ridiculous. I don't want to die from heart disease, and I don't want amputated limbs from poor circulation. I now feel good in the morning, I can taste food again, I can run up a hill without getting breathless, and I'm over the craving.....there's nothing worse than someone who's given up, is there?!
Megan {been@zip.com.au} i started smoking at 34, 3 years ago. Why? Because i so strongly opposed to it when i was younger that i wanted to get to know this beast. But it wasnt planned, a smoker freind of mine left some of those herbal cigarettes in my studio. I'm sick today - got serious sinus problems three days ago...because of smoking? And have allergies never had before...because of smoking? I usually smoke everyday, but sometimes only 2 or 3. I have never smoked more than half a pack a day. And then that's only a night. When I'm sick I don't even think of them and forget that I actually smoke.
Could I quit? I've never actually tried. I've cut down, and it works. I can't imagine at my age that i'll die of lung cancer, starting so late.
I have to say I like smoking. I like how it feels. I hate the stench of others smoking. It looks cool, but only on some people. A fellow at work chain smokes, and it repulses me. That's good - "find a smoker you can hate." I can't smoke unless i'm drinking something, even lemonade. After a smoke i usually hate it. I know i'm addicted but I don't think I'll die from it. I'm much more concerned about dying from a motorcycle accident, or flying, or drowning, or a sexual disease, or being hit by some ass-hole driver than a few ciggs a day. In the end it's all about moderation just like everything else. Isn't it???
My 10 rules to enjoying smoking and living longer. 1. don't smoke in the day 2. don't smoke the whole thing 3. dont' smoke more than half a pack a day ever 4. put off that first cigarette as long as you can. 5. brush teeth often 6. leave home without them; dont let smokes control you. 7. the more you bum, the less you smoke 8. smoke light brands only 9. never smoke in the morning 10. when you do have that infrequent cigarette, f**king-well enjoy it!
daemon {m@shift.com} I smoked for 17 years, mostly Camel straights. I loved that compact pack with the camel and its hidden picture of a girl somewhere. I was working on a tugboat on Norton Sound and the Yukon River. One week we were stuck inside the mouth of the Unalakleet River waiting for the swells to subside. I went out to run on the beach and after about 20 yards I had a stitch in my side and couldn't catch my breath. I started thinking about quitting again. A few weeks later, the engineer, a young kid from Cleveland, decided to quit smoking, so every hour or so he came up to the pilot house and bummed a smoke from me. I had just bought a new carton one afternoon and we were tied up to the bank outside the slough at Kotlik. He came up to bum another smoke and I said, "You want to quit smoking? That's not the way to do it. This is how you quit." And I tossed the carton out the pilothouse door into the river. Then we made a bet. $100. 30 days without smoking cigarettes. Pipes and cigars were okay. If one of KNEW we couldn't last another minute the other one promised to sit down and we'd light each other's cigarette at the same time so no one had to lose. I smoked a pipe the first few days but it tasted bitter so I finally just stopped. I was the captain so it was okay to be irritable and mean. He smoked cigars the whole time. At the end of the month I had quit but he lit up a cigarette the minute it bet was over. I've smoked twice since then. Once at a wake and once when I was partying. But that's been years ago now. I don't miss it.
Chris Houghotn {cvh@teleport.com} I'm 32. I started smoking when I was 12, you know hang out in the alley and look cool and be a tough teenager. Anyway, who cares why I started it's the quitting that's on my mind every waking second these days. I've quit now for 2 1/2 week. I have been able to think of nothing but cigerettes. I know what a junkie must feel like needing his next fix. I was at the bar the other night and was searching the room for someone I knew who had smokes, there was no one. It was kind of a doomed feeling. I was going to ask a stranger, but I would have felt lower than low.
I miss smoking, it was fun, relaxing, calming, goodtimes, memories. Smoking went with alot of things in my life. I didn't realize how much my life revolved around my cigerettes until they were gone.
I want a smoke now and I will want one tomorrow. The yearning for the goodtimes will never end. I'll have to make some memories as a non-smoker.
Sandra {sandytim@northernnet.com} My brother took Baz's above suggestion, and smoked weed every time he wanted a cigarette. He developed a 10-joint a day habit for maybe 7 weeks. Me, I can't smoke that much dope, so I went out and bought some foul smelling, foul tasting herb cigarettes. After a pack of those, I clenched my teeth and went cold turkey. Absolutely one of the worst experiences in my life.
Dan I just stoped it for the next ten minutes.
It's now two years ago and it works.
Gerhard Schulz {gerd@c-lab} I never started. I'll admit to smoking once or twice. I never could stand it. I don't make enough money at my job anyway to waste it on a bad habit. I normally don't think smoking makes anyone look good, but last night at work I saw this boy that I like with a cigarette between his lips and it turned me on. I think I have an oral fixation. Anyway, I don't smoke. I don't do drugs... I have quit a lot of things though. Life's too short for me to stress about anything else...
Learn to be you.
mp Dammit, my mother didn't raise no quitter.
-Paul
Paul Kelley {pwkelley@mailbox.syr.edu} I quit. Back when there was no gum and no patches. I was working at the Gainesville Golf and Country Club and there was an old guy... about 70 who asked me what I was doing behind the bar.
I told him I was having a cigarette break. He asked me what brand- I told him "Camel Straights". He said - I used to smoke them but I quit when I was 30. I've never smoked again. This guy was having a great time, golfing, drinking, fooling with the waitresses.
I was about 24 at the time. Mainlining the camel straights. The best nicotine money can buy. I knew what the deal was..... it's a physical addiction, nothing more.
Smoking is The Monkey that climbs up your back every 20 minutes and strangles you.
When I got to be thirty- I was working in another bar in Atlanta. I snuffed out a Winston -I had cut down from the camel straights- and quit cold turkey.
I've never smoked another cigarette.
The cold turkey is the best, because you understand the addiction fully, you go through the withdrawal every 20 minutes. You realize that this addiction is the worst.
I've spoken to ex heroin addicts who say that beating junk is easier than beating nicotine.
If you plan to beat the big "N". Do it. For all the reasons we know but also.... to experience beating the largest MONKEY of them all.
Bruce Cattanach {bcattanach@aol.com} Well.... I've tried quitting many time. I even go to the doctor, but he just gave me a bunch of crap i started smoke when i was 11. my grand pa taught me to. I have wuit several times, my record was 3 weeks. I can't quit cos i love cigarrettes espcially Dunhill. And Many people in Malaysia smokes, you can see everyone smoke here!!!!Shit!!!!!
Vincent Aw {defantei@hotmail.com} I tried to quit, but it only lasted three months. I think I did it to prove that i could do it, but I just didn't want to at that point in my life- This time I was reassured that if I wanted to quit, I could because I had done it once before. Well, now I notice, that I never quit. Quiting means never touching one again, not starting up again. I haven't quit, I wish that I had never tried my first cigarette. If I could go back to that day, with that hot guy offering me a smoke, I would tell him to fuck off because he sucks.
Alexandra Finkle {afinkle@student.manhattan.edu} My first taste of a cigarette was my last. I had never tried smoking anything until I was 27, and I have to admit that to this day, I am ashamed that I ever tried it. I tried the one puff in order to get my suppossed best friends to leave me alone. You see, one of them had recently started smoking and would not stop taunting me to try it. Since I had no experience in smoking, I was unable to inhale the smoke. I just got smoke into my mouth. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. I ran back into the restaurant that we had all just left in order to wash my mouth out. The taste lingered. I sucked on a breath mint...the taste lingered. I thought I would die with that taste in my mouth. I needed 10 breath mints or more, but I didn't have them, so I suffered until I could get something to drink. My experience with cigarettes taught me that I was a weak person. You see I thought that these people were my best friends--and the sad thing was, they really were my best friends. I discovered that night that my best friends were really treating me terribly and that I really had no friends. It was very sad, but it was also a turning point in my life. I am a changed person. These people are no longer a part of my life, and my personhood is much more defined. It caused me to realize that previous isolated incidences of disrespect added up to personal disrespect.
Kim Like most of the bad decisions I've made in my life, and the bad things I've simply let happen, my addiction to cigarettes was a consequence of ignorance initially. It, as well as my other obsessions and weaknesses, continues because of ignorance, and a pronounced lack of self-respect. Guess you caught on to one of my other bad things - self-reproach, huh? Its all connected, of course. That, i.e. clearheadedness, is usually what it takes for me to wake up, and realize that smoking is patently bad for me - that it poisons me. I'm at one of those points again. As far as this goes, I traditionally think in terms of whether or not my life in general is condusive to quitting smoking. There have been times when a failed attempt set me back, psychologically speaking, but its obvious now that circumstances in my life will never facillitate, or ease me into quitting smoking. This is about the time customarily, that I would go smoke one and let my thoughts coalesce... In that way, smoking always seems to go hand in hand with making decisions, whether it be to smoke a cigarette and get on with the day at work, or... well, this is a decision; to smoke or not to smoke, that I'll have to make without the aid of nicotine, ironically.
Trent {trent@ecisa.com} I have never uttered those words, "I'm going to quit." Not all together like that anyway.
I'm just coming down from a cold; my colds are much worse now. I didn't have a cigarette for a week and a day. Why breath in smoke when I can't breath regular air without choking?
I lit my first one again yesterday. It felt wonderful. The smoke curling through the air... the look of my mouth as I puffed out that cloud in my car rear view mirror.
Heaven.
I'll quit when I'm ready and not a day before.
nitesite {nitesite@sunletter.com} I quit smoking almost 3 years ago, after a very painful break-up with my then girlfriend. I had actually quit smoking a couple of months prior to our meeting, and I didn't smoke though our relationship, although she did.
I started smoking again about a month before our break-up, because things were becoming very stressful. The day we broke up, I chain-smoked the rest of my pack, and I didn't touch another cigarette until a couple of weeks ago, when I managed to bum 4 cigarettes off as many people in a 5 hour period.
In the last month, I've been diagnosed with adult-onset asthma, so smoking is the dumbest thing for me to do. I didn't enjoy those 4 cigs, and I paid for it with dizziness, and searing headache, and a few extra puffs of the inhaler. Not to mention the fact that the cute chick I'd been flirting with that evening pulled away from a kiss, when she smelled the cigarette smoke on me.
That alone, will never make me pick up another cigarette again.
Leslie {MaxGirl@runawaytrain.org} Smoking chills the soul... I feel good when I smoke, even though it's bad for me... I love watching the blue smoke curling off the end of my lights, she mellows my mind, pauses me in this hectic rush of life... I love the grey exhale that comes when the air is still... I'm polluting myself... I know... Thats cool, thats me, I smoke... };>
michael {speckle@hy-pa.com} I just quit three weeks ago after smoking off and on, in varying degrees of severity, for the last 15 years.
i don't like it, not one bit.
i feel old because i quit but i promised that before i turned 30 i would.
i quit while breaking up with my boyfriend, starting a new job, moving, and stopping my medication (for that evil mental disorder).
a stupid time to quit, but it literally just happened. i just stopped. the funny thing is i don't really want one except that i miss it madly, toughly, badly i long to just stop and smoke. but i don't smoke anymore. and i even tried one yesterday and it tasted rough and nasty a dirty old tongue.
funnier still....my new job is at a cancer research facility
but i miss having something to do to express my stress to move my hands with a purpose other than art and writing.
tough luck, kid, you quit.
i feel like a quitter
i think manic depressives should be allowed to smoke anywhere anytime,
Violet {pandorasbox5@hotmail.com} I quit about 8 months ago, when i realised that my girlfriend was smoking more when she was around me. I just threw down a half finished mildseven light and said "fuck it, thats enough"
she quit too, then she dumped me, she still gets cravings, i don't...
smoking ruins you.
i'm in the process of dealing with clinical depression, fixing my body is part of this
prozac helped, i think
matt sawkill {matt@isotope.net.nz} I remember my sister and I forcing my father to quite by destroying everpack of cigs we could find.
Now he looks at me like I am a freak cause I smoke now and am quite addicted to it.
This whole addiction thing is purely in everyone's mind. There is such a thing as mind power and trust me it works. Just look at me, my body tells me to quite all the time but my mind says "No Way Pal!, Ain't gonna happen" Who should I listen to?
Gotta go, I need a cigarette.
PTFO
/\/\ | C }{ /\ E |_ {fourtwenty@compuserve.com} I've been smoking for a couple years and have tried to quit a few times, including cold turkey. It hasn't worked so far. *shrug*
Dark|||Knight {darkknight@daves-world.com} I've tried to quit more times than I can count. Of course, I never took it seriously. I am constantly making excuses in the back of my mind - "oh, well, it doesn't mean I won't ever smoke again, it just means I'll stop smoking regularly." Yeah. Sure. But now that I'm starting to exercise, and now that I'm reevaluating every point in my life, and now that every day I wake up with this pain in my chest and I go through a five-minute coughing fit to try and cough up the shit I inhaled yesterday... ...well, then, what would make me spend $4 (ciggies are taxed to hell in Mass.) a day to buy these things that make me and my clothes smell, that yellow my teeth, that give me headaches, that have turned me from a 20-lap-a-day swimmer to someone who wheezes when climbing stairs, these things whose only fucking purpose is to make me buy more cigarettes? What would make me do this? An addiction. Which is something I never wanted to admit, but here I go: I am physically and psychologically addicted to nicotene. This is beyond my rational control, my conscious thought. This addiction has worked its way into my life, and I don't know if I can stop it. But goddamnit, I have to try. I have to break this cycle. I've never thought about quitting smoking - I've always assumed that eventually I would just stop. But when I look into the future and see myself at 45, out of shape, unhealthy, still buying cigarettes, it sickens me. Smoking isn't cool. Smoking isn't all right. Smoking is an addiction, and I am an addict. And that stops right now. I knew. It was... To die. But It prevented me from dying. Like. Death by a double sided sword. But oh. I loved it. NICOTINE. it sucked.
Nirosh. {lobo@informatics.lk} Quitting smoking was one of the easiest damn things I mever did. This is after 16 years of smoking a pack of Camels a day. I just decided one day that I'd better quit because my computer would get all gunked-up if I didn't.
As a preliminary, I cut the amount of cigarettes smoked in half every day until I was down to just one. The next day, I didn't smoke any. I got a bag of sunflower seeds and every time I wanted a cigarette, I'd grab some sunflower seeds and eat them instead of having a cigarette. After three short days, the urge to smoke left me completely.
I've heard people say "Cigarettes are more addictive than heroin". Well, balderdash! I've also been a heroin addict, for two and a half years. Kicking that shit was a gauntlet through hell...and in the end I gave up and went on methadone, because I just couldn't do it any other way. I don't know how anyone can even begin to compare kicking cigarettes with kicking dope: it's not anywhere near the same sort of experience. Cigarettes are just a bad habit. Heroin's an addiction.
At any rate, I'm glad to not be smoking or shooting dope any more. The Tale of a Morlboro Addict
I remember my first smoke like it was yesterday. It was 1967. I was 16, and had fresh pink lungs, and a strong youghful heart. I went out in the garage and sucked all the life out of one of my Dad's Camels. I felt like a real man--and was immediately as sick as a dog. I was also instantly addicted to nicotine
Since that day I've craved nicotine with an unrelenting passion. I smoke first thing in the morning to jump start my heart, and last thing at night to calm my nerves. I smoke anywhere from 1/2 pack a day to a pack an hour, and I live in constant fear of prematurely kicking the bucket--although at age 47, I'm not sure how premature it would be for a dedicated smoker! I love smoking, but it scares me out of my mind, so I lethargically quit almost every night, and recklessly begin again each morning. I just can't abide without those long, deep, soulful nicotine drags at dawn--problem is, I'm not not sure low long I can live with them either.
On occasion, I've tried earnestly to quit, and once was successful for three years. Howerver, my addiction to nicotine always draws me back to my macabre mistress--her name is Marlboro.
I enjoy all of the endearing traits of Marlboro masculinity. Following my first resplendent nicitine hit each morning, I hack tar and blood up out of the deep recesses of my lungs; I can't breathe before noon; I suck serious wind at the gym if I try to do a set of more than 12 reps; any time of day or night, without warning, my heart is inclined to begin thumping and bumping in a chillingly syncopated rhythm, and lately I'm experiencing occasional twinges of dull pressure at the center of my chest. For now, these "twinges" are blessedly fleeting and lackluster. (I don't even want to think about what they may be leading up to--but just in case, let's keep those "paddles" handy!)
My doctor used to be cool, telling me to "keep it down." More recently, he has been indicating that I should stop, saying, "you have too many coronary risk factors. In addition to being a maddle-aged male, you have high stress, moderatley high blood pressure, and a raging cigarete habit. You should quit." And, I haven't even tool him about my "chest pain" yet!!
Quit for good? Probably after I've had a full blown, rampaging heart attack, and become a full-fledged member of the Marlboro Flatliners Society.
My advice: If you don't smoke--don't start. If you are a new smoker--quit before it's too late.
Jerry I remember my first somke like it was yesterday. I was 16 and went out in the garage to secretly suck all the life out of one of my Dad's cigarettes. I got as sick as a dog, but I soon got over it, and had another smoke.
Since that day I've craved nicotine with an unrelenting passion. I just can't abide facing the day without a long, soulful morning smoke.
I "enjoy" all the endearing traits of smoking. I cough and hack; I can't breathe before noon; I get winded just thinking about a workout; my heart sometimes thumps and bumps along in an odd rhythm, and lately I've been experiencing some occasional mild chest pain.
I've trieed quitting a few times, and once I was successful for three years, but my addiction to nicitine always draws me back to a macabre mistress--her name is cigarette.
My doctor used to be cool, telling me to "Keep it down." Now he says I should quit for good.
Quit for good? Maybe I will, but I have hunch it won't be until I have a heart attack or something! I just fucking crave nicotine too much to give it up right now.
Jerry {lwgrim@aol.com}
I think I will quit smoking, if the most important person/people in my life told me to do so......
Mo Mo {antismoker@momowebzone.com} I quit smoking on a whim. I was on 20 a day when one Friday night I ran out and I couldn't be bothered going down to the pub to get more.
The next day I thought: 'This is an exciting game... let's see how long I can keep this up.' So instead of 'not smoking' I played the game of 'not buying'.
My very very last drag was on July 12th, 1996. Backstage at a festival in Belgium, a somewhat famous singer shared his cigarette with me. Who can resist that?
'I thought you quit.' he said smiling. It was easy after that. As long as I can brag about 'taking my last drag off X's cigarette' I'll be fine.
My old man is having problems with his keyboard--sorry, cyber friends, about the repeat above--so I will complete his list:
6. I will never smoke less than 30 minutes before I exercise. (Let me tell you, Jack Sr. does "exercise"--of course, he has to stop occasionally to catch his breath, and when he does, he sounds like a decrepit bellows. His "buff, burly , barrel" my ass. It's more like his "bloated, flabby, spare tire, if you ask me--which, of course, you din't.)
7. I will never smoke less than 30 minutes after I exercise. (Of course Jack Sr. won't; during that time he is too busy trying to decide if his chest pain is "just" angina or a bloody heart attack!)
8. I will never smoke less than 30 minutes before going to bed. (Not if he's going to keep "it" up, he won't.)
9. I will never smoke more than 10 cigarettes a day. (That's a laugh; he smokes that many while he's in the crapper.)
10. I will never smoke more than two cigarettes in a row. (I think he means two at once.)
11. I will quit smoking when my life is more sane. (Compared to what?)
Jack Sr. says that the following should be added to #5:
The longer I hold smoke in my lungs the more I enloy it--also the more it screws tnings up; therefore, I will TRY to exhale immediately after each deep puff. (Ten pulse beats--I'm not sure what that means. The man complains that his heart usually races like a scared rabbit's from the time he lights up in the morning--at 5am sharp-- until an hour or so after his last smoke at night.)
I wish my old man well. Maybe someday I'll cut back too. Damn, I love to smoke!
Jack Jr. My tips for quitting. I kept putting off that first cigarette of the day. A very simple, practical technique. One hour at a time, one day at a time. Gradually it got later and later until I eventually was only smoking if I went out at night. Then I went to LA for a weekend and I found that I couldn't breathe and be in LA at the same time. When I came back I didn't smoke anymore.
So now I only smoke cuban cigars. They really are delicious. And since I've only had access to them twice in my life, it's a very manageable habit.
Caroline M {cmurphy@itsa.ucsf.edu} I've been a smoker for nine years. I started off as most thirteen year olds do, ripping cigarettes from mom. Almost all of my friends smoke, which makes it doubly (triply?) hard to quit. I will soon be moving in with my girlfriend (I hope) -
I think she is going to make me quit.
She used to smoke, but doesn't anymore, which essentially gives her the right to bitch at me to quit, which she hasn't yet.
I need to smoke when I'm driving. I need to smoke when I'm making sculpture. I need to smoke.
Do I need to smoke?
Chris Almaguer {design76@mailexcite.com} Every smoker I know has tried to quit a dozen times or more (this DOES include seriously thinking about quitting by the way). There are a "lucky" few who succeed only to look disdainfully down their noses at those of us who haven't. We smokers write them off: "They weren't REALLY smokers." Smoking is so much more than an addiction, it's a relationship.
Smoking is, to me, very much an entity in its own right. Smoking is a friend. If Smoking was an actual person, I'd be in therapy or in a battered women's shelter for staying in this abusive and controlling relationship for so long. Just like anyone who has been in a destructive relationship, I can justify as they do, "but I love (fill in name here, i.e. Smoking)" Somehow, love and devotion make it all right. Somehow you know that if love long enough and hard enough, that one day Smoking will love you back.
It starts out easily enough, an innocent kiss behind the school one day. You touch your lips, take in the warmth, drink in the power that circulates throughout your body, and you feel a little light-headed. WOW! The relationship with Smoking has begun. You are fast friends.
You get brave and bring your friend Smoking home one day. Your mother doesn't approve, thinks Smoking is no good for you - you can do better. Being the rebellious youth you are, this only helps to solidify the bond with Smoking. Smoking understands you. Smoking is there for you. It's not ever really about being cool, although being associated with Smoking gives you a little social recognition. You get in trouble with Smoking. You go to clubs with Smoking. You are the "bad kid" with Smoking. You share Smoking with your friends and they appreciate you, but Smoking is there for you even when your friend's aren't.
Then you get a little older. Smoking is still there for you through the angst that hangs on for the tail end of the teen-age years. Smoking is there for you when your parents just don't understand. Smoking is there for the devastating end of a 2 week relationship - you swore you were in love. Smoking was there through the 18 hour LSD trips between the euphoria and the paranoia, between the penguins with the green feet and knowing that Twizzlers are the fruit of the gods. Smoking was there for you all night at Denny's with the bottomless cup of coffee and your first college term paper. Smoking is the friend that didn't desert you.
Then, before you know it, you're a "grown-up" and you're still associated with Smoking, and you're not so sure you still want this friend. You realize you can't take your friend with you very many places anymore. Your mom still doesn't approve and now you notice that complete strangers don't approve either. Your "friend" Smoking makes you smell bad, makes you feel bad, makes you cough, makes you tired using the stairs in the parking garage. Your "friend" Smoking wards off Mr. (Ms.) Right because you're still with Smoking and they aren't. You realize, "my gawd, Smoking controls me."
Smoking, first thing in the morning, and last thing before bed - at least once every waking hour. Smoking causes you to drive to the store in the middle of the night because you panic that two just won't be enough first thing in the morning before you get out. Smoking is slowly destroying you, and the disgusting thing is - you are LETTING Smoking destroy you. You are letting this happen, because you cannot get away. This relationship with Smoking has become such a part of your identity, you can't picture yourself with out it. "I love Smoking. I'm scared to be alone," you say.
Conquering the addiction is the easy part. Ending the relationship, the friendship is what's hard. You have to make a total break from Smoking, not occasional or before you know it you'll be right back like a little puppy dog. This friend Smoking has been there through the good times - after great sex and an even better meal. Smoking has been there through the bad times - the loss of a lover, the loss of a job. It's Smoking you turned to in the best of times and the most devastating times of your life. How do you let go of something(one) that has such a strong hold on you?
I don't do drugs anymore, I don't drink (heavily) anymore, and I'm single - who else besides Smoking am I going to run to when I have a bad day? Who else am I going to run to if I get dumped? Who else am I going to run to if I'm stressed out, or sad, or just feel like going outside? (Oh, please don't tell me Jesus - I bet He smoked too.) The day will come when I am finally brave enough to break off this relationship with Smoking. When I finally do, I am not concerned about the withdrawal - I am concerned about grieving the loss of a friend.
Jessica Reynolds {jessica@cyberramp.net} I don't want to quit. I quit once when I was really sick and didn't know my head from my feet. I smoke when I feel that way too (the not knowing which end is up part). I smoke because I enjoy it. Most of the time. I think one day I would like to quit. One day. When I can face losing all of my friends at once...including my dear wispy lover.
I was 23 years old and really wanted a change. I was coming home from work, taking a few bong tokes, had a couple of good and thick Oregon beers, and smoking about-a-pack-a-day.
Having tried to quit smoking before and failing, I decided I would just wait for the right moment in my life when other things would change also. So I asked to be transferred to California by my company, and they said yes!!
So I left decided that when I left Portland Oregon, i would stop smoking weed and cigarettes at the same time. I thought:.. a new routine, a new city, new friends, new schedule...hmm
It was absolutley the best time to quit. When everything else around me changed, it didn't make weed and nicatine seem so bad and it was fairly easy to stop.
I still smoke a cigarette about once every other month or so, and load up the bong abouut 2 or 3 times a year, so I am not completley deprived.
And all is well...
Jason Buckner {selvatech@digiweb.com} Yupp, I wanted to quit when I met my husband, and I did....everytime he was around. I am married now over 9 Years, I still don't smoke around him. I lock myself in my office, work, and smoke until my lungs can't take it no more, or I get so dizzy that it just doesn't taste good anymore. Taste good? It never did tast good. I am a smoker, but I hate ashtrays, you won't find a full ashtray anywhere in my house.
The "other day" my 7 year old son looked at me and said: "mom, when are you going to stop smoking? I don't want to you die!" (he brought home a "the dangers of smoking pamplet from school)
I promised myself next week I will go to the doctor, they have new pills now... maybe they help. Well that was 6 month ago. My son is 8 now.
Really, next week I will go!!! I will stop..... I've "quit" a few times. The first was just a few months after I started. I developed a wicked case of pneumonia, and was pretty much forced to quit. My body just couldn't handle the additional respiratory stress. After I recovered, I convinced myself to stay away from the cigarettes because I was planning a camping/hiking trip through the Rockies with one of my friends and reasoned that smoke-addled lungs at thirteen thousand feet above sea level were just a bad idea.
Then, later in the same summer as that glorious trip, I ended up in New England visiting a friend...he smoked. So, one night as we were hitting Boston for some fun and he made sure he had his cigarettes on hand, I just picked one up. It was a night of hard cider and cigs for me...needless to say, my tummy felt gross the next day.
But, I've been doing it ever since. On and off, that is. Sometimes I go a couple of weeks (or even months) without even the thought of a cigarette...other times, I don't even go for a couple of hours without lighting up. Both of my parents smoked regularly, and both managed to quit cold-turkey with no problems at all...maybe things will be the same with me. I'm more apt to believe though, that I'll continue with my on-again off-again habit for the rest of my life... i figured it this way. i figured i was breaking up with a guy i really liked so i should break a habit i really liked at the same time. besides, the habit had been borne out of the skin-crawling tension i was beginning to feel around this person. a friend said, beth, this is hardly the time to quit. but i said no. this is exactly the time to quit. if you're gonna feel shitty and raw, you might as well feel truly shitty and raw. why let a cigarette interfere with your essential raw shittiness? and you know what? i can't just have one. one encounter. one cigarette. one will cause that desperate, cavernous hole in me to open back up and insist on being filled. i miss the guy. i miss the smoke. but i guess both were making me sick.
beth mann {puddin666@earthlink.net} Well, it's finally happened!
I went in for my yearly physical exam this week, and my physician read me the riot act about my smoking habit (no more than 1/2 pack a day)! Said, "Your lungs seem clear, and your heart sounds fit, BUT if you don't want to risk 'expiring' on an operating table during bypass surgery, you've got to quit."
He gave a three month prescription for Zyban. Said, "Hopefully by then your system will be clean."
What is this--medical storm-trooper tactics??? My lungs are clear; my heart is fit, and I'm in danger of the possibility of death at some future date--aren't we all???? Bypass surgery?? No one in my family has EVER suffered from coronary heart disease! I'm nearly fifty; I workout daily, and I've never experienced the slightest hint of angina. Coronary disease?? Emphysema (my Dad has it), or lung cancer (one of my uncles died form it) would have made more sense!!
I'll get the Zyban prescription filled--after I finish the pack I'm working on, or the current carton, or the next--this week, or next month. Whenever. Gotta give those blockages a chance to develop!!! After all, risk taking is about 50% of my joy in smoking.
Why, I need a death dealing "hit" right now.
Larry I quit every night for at least 6 hours. Well this morning when I got up, I challenged myself to stay smoke free, so far so good.
I quit back in 1989, when i *HAD* to... I had joinde the US NAVY, I was told to bring no more than 10 packs with me, so i did, one carton, and when the barrel came around, away went my carton. I was crushed. I had just spent $15 on that carton, and now they are gonna give it to some homeless guy living on the streets of Chicago. Little did I know that I would not have time to THINK about a smoke... much less have a smoke.
As quick as I stopped smoking, I started smoking again, after graduation, i climbed into the truck with my brother on one side of me, and my room-mate on the other side of me... they both lit up........ so did I.
I dont remember what it was like to quit then....
I quit smoking again 3 years ago... I was in the hospital with kidney stones.... this time... 5 days... great.... I am doing good... I dont feel like smoking... until I was on my way out of the hospital... I smelled the aroma of a recovering by-pass patient smoking outside... i remember asking myself, why would he do that right after such a serious surgery? I asked him.. "Can i bum a smoke?"
This time i am gonna do it... my 2 year old son has asthma.... I saw him pick up a ciggarette butt and put it in his mouth... I was appaled.... This time I QUIT... I MEAN IT!
Eris {sumner@bigfoot.com} I go to Europe every summer. Everyone there ROLLS their own cigarettes. I rolled one, smoked it, and went back to america.
At home i wanted a smoke, to contrast the diff between self rolled and factory made, but JUST ONE. I couldn't find anyone to bum one off of, so i bought a pack.
Ever since i finished that pack, i can't quit, and I HATE MYSELF FOR IT.
Mark I started smoking at age 24 (in April!) when I entered graduate school. It was a big change for me since I had always been fit, athletic, healthy. I think part of the reason I started was to spite my super-fit ex-boyfriend, with whom I'd just broken up. I loved imagining how upset he'd been to see me taking a drag! The other factor was the crowd of people I was with, many smokers, and beer drinkers. Then I went to Europe for the summer and really got good at the whole smoking thing. Anyway, it has only been 6 months since I really started smoking and I quit yesterday. I've gotten through two days so far, not bad. I am grateful that I've got the sense to quit now. At least I have a lifetime of nonsmoking habits and experiences to draw on-my sympathies to those of you who have to learn from scratch how to behave like a nonsmoker. My best tip is to pretend you always were...
nikki {nichita@hotmail.com} I havent quit yet because half of my body is telling me not to smoke and the other is telling me to smoke so I ignore the one thats telling me not to smoke, I mean this is hard.
I like to try different brands I am starting to like menthols like Newports, Kools, Salems, Camel menthols, etc. Most of the people that are old that smoke have been doing it since they were kids like me so theres still a chance for me to quit. I know what your thinking if I am a kid how do I get cigarettes, well i get someone old enough to buy it for me.
When i was alot younger i used to hate being around people that smoke, I guess you get used to it when you smoke without coughing. I keep on promising myself this is the last cigarette. Maybe I should fine something else that will replace smoking like chewing gum, eating candy, others.
Robert Luther {titomosquito@yahoo.com} I have not quit smoking yet, but I will.
I plan to quit at the exact same time as everyone else:
soon.
rich {rich@primex-intl.com} That ad on tv. the woman who smokes through her trach hole in her neck. I dont want that to be me. I have to do this now.
I want to be smoke free. I want to have healthy lungs. I want to live as long as possible. I don't want to die of a disease of my own making. I want to quit.
I have 4 cigarettes left. I will not buy another pack.
I say this every day. Twelve years. Three serious attempts to quit. Smoking ultralite Camels now, that I once thought were reserved for the unserious smoker. Last attempt October last year. Patches. $150 worth of patches. Lasted a few months. Lived isolated and slept little. Easy. Time just flushed. I was always in a good mood. Oxygen=new drug. Food=Weird good. Circulosexual overload. The brain didn't slow down ever. Workouts.
Began dating smoker. Began bumming her cigs on weekends. Tasted just like they did when I was 17---damm good! One day she said, "You really need to buy some." I said"I'm not really a smoker." She said, "You're a smoker. These are MY fucking cigarettes." I had made the commitment not to buy as others have. I bought her cigarettes, her brand. I gave them to her and bummed them. She still got pissed. I bought my own. I relegated the "vices" to the weekend; drink, smoke, sex. HOW I LOOKED FORWARD TO THOSE WEEKENDS! I realized it wasn't just because of her!
A couple of weeks before we broke it off, I started smoking again at work. I started taking breaks again. I talked to people outside of my department. All the same smokers were still out there. This felt good....for a while. Generic Zyban has recently cut into the ranks and I think I may join them. I am looking forward to the awfulness of quitting, the oncoming mental blitzkrieg, panic attacks, random paranoia, withdrawal---the fun stuff. That's the good part. Forever is the fear.
Peter {zherion@aol.com} Several serious attempts over about five years was necessary for me to quit. The last one was accomplished by beating up an aluminum pot everytime I wanted to scream and tearing up a few tree branches when my mind and heart wanted to go racing about. Frequently, drives down the feeder road of IH-45 in Texas venting native indian chants was helpful, as well as full-blown screams in the car. No one around to hear me allowed me to get the "primal fear" out. Isn't that what nicotine suppresses - our fear? Well, I got rid of mine and the addiction. I had one slip that lasted for about two weeks. The only way out of the slip was via the national smoke out day, November 16, I think. I knew I was getting caught up and stuffing the daily, subconscious primal fear as the cigs were just too good quit. So that day, I just didn't light up again and kept focusing on the millions of people who were doing the same - even if for one day. And that idea worked! Only a few rare times do I want a cig and that's usually when I am extremely angry and feeling a very deep shame - that of course is rare. Thank God! as they say. That was 18 years ago.
v. lynn {vlhwhaling@aol.com} Quit, eh?
I was just about to quit when I made the mistake of reading all of the previous passages. I have become depressed. Who wants to quit now when there are dozens of entries that expound on personal inabilities to end the habit that has frustrated their life and their health for years. I'd light one up now, but alas, it is the day after Christmas and my vacation home to the awaiting arms of my ex-smoking parents would end in tears (theirs) if they knew that I still smoked.
I remember being 18 and getting into the habit. I kept telling myself at 19 that I have only been smoking for a year and that is nothing. I am still young so one year of smoking wont hurt me. I will quit before I turn 20...okay, before I turn 21...22...okay, 23 and I mean it this time...24...25...26...
I turn 27 this October and I think that for my birthday this year, I will treat myself. I will stop trying to quit until I turn thirty. Who needs unattainable goals.
Robert {roberth@ids.net} I started when I was 16. By 18, it was boring and I wanted to quit. I knew I stunk and my teeth were no longer white as the driven snow. Too late, the demon nicotine had me. It took me 22 YEARS to build enough character to stop the insanity, and I would never have made it then had it not been for the patches. They worked only because I really wanted to kick the demon's ass out of my body. Tobacco Industry, this is one happy girl you don't have any more because I sucked with the patches. I sucked on Tootsie Roll Pops, I sucked ice water through a straw, I sucked lemon drops and Lifesavers. I replaced one sucky smoky behavior with other sucky behaviors. And the patches made it so much easier.
Judith {Hnymagnola@aol.com} One of my best friends called me to describe a rare lung disease a good mutual friend of ours had acquired. All thanks to two packs Camel Menthols a day. He's twenty four years old. On harmones, and looking at CANCER if he EVER smokes again. That was enough for me. I was smoking a cigarette when she was describing what he had been coughing-up. That was definetely enough for me. I got off the phone with her, and announced to my boyfriend that I was quitting, NOW. He decided that sounded like a good idea. That was two months ago. Now, the only time I miss smoking is when I'm drinking profuse amounts of alcohol. This past Christmas Eve, I was at the same friend's house, drinking gin and tonics, without my boyfriend. I haven't been so close to lighting up again since the day we quit. The only thing that stopped me was the mental imagine of his face as I told him I'd broken our little pact. It's funny that the same friend who was too cool to say "no" to in high school (and, subsequently, the one who gave me my first cig)was the same one who inspired me to quit smoking in college.
Anna I blame my parents for the fact that I cannot quit smoking. Really. Here it goes... THE FOLKS Mom: A "light" smoker in her day. 1.5 packs a day. Dad: "King Smokey" Averaged 4 packs a day. he was famous for being able to polish off 7 packs in the 12 hour trip we took each winter from Atlanta to Miami. True stamina. Both quit when I was an adolescent. My dad started again after eight years. He now is a "light" smoker, huffing down 2 packs of Marlboros on the regular. THE ADDICTION Unlike most of my smoking friends, I made it all the way through highschool without becoming addicted to nicotine. I smoked occasionally, but would never let friends smoke in my car and usually made them sit in the non-smoking section when we ate together. Upon entering college however, I found a pipe at a Salvation Army and decided it would be quite stylish and sophisticated to smoke a pipe. Addiction, despite the warnings of my friends, was never a concern. It was just too dandy for me to ever see it as pernicious. I blazed my way through a pouch of Cherry Cavendish in about a week and was hooked. My next purchase was a pack of Lucky's. BUSTED? I returned to Atlanta that Christmas with a new habit in tow. I did my best to hide it for fear that my parents would be "very disappointed." I have come to find that my parents are incapable of being "very disappointed." Returning to the house after one of my many trips to the woods, my mother stopped me in the doorway telling me that I should feel free to smoke it the house. "How can I tell you not to smoke in the house when I smoked around you for all those years," she said. This freaked me out way too much. We compromised on the porch. Mom even dug out one of her old ashtrays for me to use. How sweet. POSITIVE STROKES I smoke a lot. At least that's what my friends tell me. They all consider me the heaviest smoker that they know. I average a little less than a pack of American Spirit Lights a day. It's the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do befor I go to bed. And you should see me when I'm drinking. Whenever I see my mother or father, they can't help but comment on how little I smoke. I feel compelled to believe my parents. Not because it's an easy justification, but because they are my parents and they are right and they would never want me to do anything that would bring me harm. Why shouldn't I trust them? How sweet. QUITTING I'm not sure I'll ever quit. Maybe for the right woman. I just don't have any good reasons on my own. I think most people who quit have some sort of nagging guilt or a feeling of impending doom for one reason or another. I feel none of that. Hey, I'm a light smoker compared to my dad who used to smoke in the shower (true) and my mom who smoked through 3 pregnancies. I've got nothing to worry about!! Thanks Mom and Dad!!
John Hawkins Gordon {flapjack@iron.butterfly.net} I quit the last time I went to the hospital in an ambulance because I couldn't breathe. I came home with the new knowledge that I had a degenerative lung disease called emphysema. I'm 32.
X [Warning. Stereotypical sad smoker story ahead.]
Well, my wife and I took two hits of acid each this past New Year's eve. We had both been trying to quit for a long time previous to this, but we had decided that this was the final IT. While we were peaking, we sat on the living room floor and intensely stared into each other's eyes and swore to each other that we would not smoke another cigarette again. To seal the bargain, we had sex.
Well, here it is January 28, and I just went to the doctor yesterday. See, I've had this pain in my chest that won't go away. The oncologist says there is a 50-50 chance that I have cancer.
And she's expecting...
Fuckin cigarettes. Yeah, they're cool. Yeah, they gave me something to do with my hands. Yeah, they go well with beer, coffee, weed, acid, and every other drug. But man, there's an even chance they have fucking killed me, and I won't be able to see my child grow up.
Irony: When your wife gets pregnant the day you quit smoking, and you are subsequently diagnosed with cancer. God I hope this doesn't fucking happen.
Rev. Scat Warfare {revscat@airmail.net} I started smoking i guess because I saw my parents and my friends do it and at the time it was the cool thing to do. Now it has become a nervous habit for me, I know I can quit I think I have the will power to do so.
My boyfriend is a firefighter/paramedic and he is always teling em stories about his patients who have cancer or someone who has dies. He cries to me to quit smoking its just not that easy I tell him when I get pregnant. But I think thats just an excuse for him to stop bothering me. I am always yelling younger kids to stop and thats it is bad but who am I for them to look up to. I have tried so many times but I can only go a day without one. I think about all the times I will be at a bar or after dinner, when I wake up, before I go to bed, while I am watching a movie at home, or most of all when I leave a building, when I go shopping or to pay a bill the first thing I do is light up when I walk out no matter how long i have been in there or how long it was from my last smoke I light up.. I look at my boyfriend and he doesnt need one he has no craving for one and I wish I could be like that I know I could but then I think what will I do!!! Thats what it is now it having to keep my self busy. No matter what I am doing I have to have something in my hand I play with my rings alot and I bet if I didn't need something to do I could quit...
Hopefully soon i can kick this damn habit!!!
Nicole {Trixs21@aol.com} I just want to say that's my real email. No one believes me.
I just coughed when I started typing. I have been a heavy smoker (pack a day or over) for over five years now. . I recently quit for a month, I was sweating, I was moody, I cried. I was like a junkie quitting smack. I just coughed again. But honest. I love my smokes. I love the smell, I love the taste, I love the way it makes me feel. Maybe even the way it's anti-social. I like the feeling of the pack, the act of buying it. I like how you can always make friends if you are a smoker. I met some of my best friends while smoking, or the act of borrowing a lighter or bumming a cigarette. I even like the look of me smoking. I like the way the smoke curls. I moved around a lot, I travel alone. Cigarettes is always there to help me pass the night. I quit drinking, I quit drugs, I quit having sex with strangers. I like to keep one thing of my past. One thing that says you have not changed so much that you no longer who you use to be. I enjoyed my wild college/bohemian/wild girls days. I don't do it not because I am a burnout (I am 24). I just found other things to keep me occupied. Cigarettes is my friend. It's that simple. No one admits that now but that's why we all keep at it, smoking awat when we know what it does to you.
Yan {chairman.mao@china.com} Im 16 years old and have been smokeing for like 2 years. I really want to quit, but at parties I just cant help it. I need to smoke. My mind is set on: "QUIT". My body isnt. Does anyone have methods for quitting? Please email!
DPP
DPP {hysteria-x@usa.net} We quit three weeks ago, my husband and I. For me it was the money more than anything. For him, it was the realization that there were suddenly three people he wanted to be around for -- me and our two daughters. We've gone cold turkey and it's getting easier, I think. It's funny, but hardly anyone smokes anymore, have you noticed? It's as if everyone was humouring me, since I haven't seen a cigarette in the entire three weeks. I quit for each pregnancy, but as soon as each baby was well on to solids, I would start up again. I had no desire to smoke and then suddenly I had to. I intend to be a non-smoker from here on in. As it stands, I smoked more of my life than I didn't smoke. I want to change that ratio.
Janice I can't stand people who say they are going to quit smoking and stop buying them, only to bum half a pack from me on a night of drinking. I hate smoking but at the same time love it for some reason. I've never tried to quit because although they are unhealthy and recently becoming more expensive, they are always there to welcome you in the morning and tuck you into bed at night. The pack or so during the day isn't so bad either. I'll quit eventually, but who knows when or what will prompt it. All I know is that smoking is such a wonderfully habitual thing in my life right now and everyone I know smokes...it is just the thing to do. Bored? Stressed? Tired as fuck? Drunk off your ass? Light one up, I say.
Mary {boyoboy007@yahoo.com} I've quit many times and every time I quit it was because I was happy and I treated my body with respect, as my doctor said to me your body is a temple, treat it as such, but alas I've started smoking again, not because I'm incredibly miserable, but because I'm stressed. I go to the gym yet I still need something for those moments I'm not doing anything physical. Its the physical thing that needs addressing maybe if while sitting concentrating on some boring assignment etc...you could sit twiddling a baton or juggle a few balls in the air.....If only we could replace smoking with something that requires little thinking then maybe we would all be better happy people and not stressing even more thinking about what could happen to us in later life, like getting cancer or emphasima, god what a dreadful thought yet we all think "oh it won't happen to me" how wrong we could be and then my ramblings on this site today would only add to my pain in later life
"if only"
Mooks I did it. I quit.
And it was easy. I just stopped buying packs of cigarettes.
Isn't that stupid? But it worked. One month, so far.
I feel FREE.
Averah All I have to say is "Good job" to all those who can actually quit smoking. It's hard as hell to stop. I'm a college student, and just the smell of smoke makes me want a cig. The truth is, when you look at it. . . smoking is disgusting. It's really kind of gross, but that's not stopping me. "Smoke em if you got em". Writing about this makes me want to go out in the freezing cold and have a Marb. A pack is going to be $5 by next year, so maybe that will give us chain smokers a reason to quit, or maybe not. It's ciggie time!
Christin {christinm@hotmail.com} i was never a "heavy" smoker however when i smoked I did enjoy it. i quit two months ago after being ill. i've been ill before and told myself i would quit but as soon as i felt better i would start again. two months ago i became really ill and it scared me. i thought to myself that God was giving me a final warning. he/she's been throwing little pebbles at me and i kept ignoring them so he finally hit me with a rock. i'm more health conscious although i still have a long way to go. i quit cold turkey because i felt the last thing i needed was to get addicted to nicotine gum. why give up one vice for another? i'm trying to love myself enough not to harm myself. i have also realized that smoking is totally selfish. how would i feel if i developed lung cancer and died before seeing what my daughter accomplishes in life or getting the chance to see and spoil my grandkids. if i care about my family and the people that care about me then i wouldn't do that to them. smoking is a slower form of suicide. i know i could die anytime but i've decided not to help death. i'm not saying i will never, never smoke i'm saying i'm sure as hell going to give it my best shot. i remind myself everday why i want to quit. it's hard and i sometimes have cravings but then i wait for the craving to go away. one day at a time is how i look at it. i want to remain a non-smoker and if i fall off the horse you can believe i'll get right back on. good luck everyone and don't give up!!
sherine I am 24 years old, and I have not had a cigarette in two months. I could not say how many times I have quit...too many to count. The thing that really got my attention this time, is that I read where it is more difficult to stop smoking than it is to stop using heroine. And I have heard countless stories of heroine addicts who simply could not stop. That is scary. Because smoking is somewhat socially acceptable, and you can buy smokes at a store, it doesa'nt seem to be as dangerous as it really is. I started at 16 because it was the cool thing to do, and I never really gave much thought about it until I noticed how yellow my teeth were getting, and that my skin was looking alot older than it should. I thought if this is going on on the outside, i hate to think about what my lungs are looking like. It was hard as hell to not smoke the first week. I dreamt about it, and I got all kinds of withdrawal symptoms...I still am getting sores in my mouth. But I feel fantastic. I started working out again, and two months later i hardly even think about smoking. When I do, I think about the guilt I will feel when and if i light up again. It isnt easy...you have to give up alot. You have to change some things..but it is worth it. I feel alot better about myself now, and I know that I will live longer and feel better. not to mention i will save roughly 45,000 over my life span.
Chip {chipuhhoy@aol.com} i don't know if this is even applicable in this section, seeing how i do in fact smoke like an overworked chimney, but i did try to quit smoking once (or twice; again, i can't remember). When i was thirteen -or fourteen...*sigh* for some reason, all of the sudden -out of the blue and for no apparent reason- the taste of cigarette smoke became downright revolting. It didn't even happen insiduously. No subtlty at all. One moment, i was smoking away happily and enjoying the thick, robust goodness of ever drag, and one puff later it tasted like i was inhaling fumes rising from a grill full of broiling manure. It was AWFUL! i think i had been chewing tobacco or something that day, and the acute revulsion i experienced from the cigarette smoke was actually a symptom of a mild nicotine overdose, but whatever the case, i made the decision to give up smoking for good...... which of course lasted but a mere three days, the duration of which period i spent storming around in a chronic, unremitting headrush, marked by slight distortion of my sensory perception. Also, i seem to remember that everything looked particulary ugly. i couldn't bear it any longer. i had to have one. That wound up being the best damned cigarette i have ever smoked.....i think...... i also think i'll go have one now
ÐÆMÖÑŠÍÄX {m0lten_m0llusk@hotmail.com} One Saturday morning I was sitting in my pyjamas on the couch with Dad, watching cartoons. I was six. He lit up a cigarette, and I asked him, "why do you smoke?" He smiled, "want to try it?" I agreed, took his cigarette and hauled one deep drag.
When I stopped hacking twenty minutes later, I swore I'd never try smoking again. I'm 38 now and I kept that promise.
Pretty smart dad, huh?
Kimberley {radix@cimtegration.com} I quit because im a dumbass who has no control over his mind.I think ive done to much acid and mushrooms to really get addicted to anything.One night i was at a girls house and she was fine,she said i smelled like shit,i got imbarrassed and decided to quit.I still thought it was rude what that tricked said tho.But if you want to quit use kava-kava ,its a erb you buy at health stores .It makes quitting easy.Oh yea ive heard if you trip acid a lot it makes it easier for you to quit smoking or drinking or other drugs.But acid aint no cure-all it has some downfalls too.If you really want to quit you can.Its not like quitting heroin or pills.I found the withdrawal a lot like coming down from cocaine.After a couple days you are ok.Then its just a mental thing,....peace
matthew I quit smoling 14 years ago. The only problem is I now dip tobacco. I replaced one form on nicotine with another. My wife has never smoked (or dipped) and has no sympathy for me. I will quit one of these days. I just appreciate knowing that others suffer as I do.
By the way, I can run a 10-K and my lungs are pink and clean. It is the only consolation I have for the ulser and irritable bowel.
Good luck to all...
Chris {twointub@aol.com} I've been smoking ever since my Dad caught me smoking at thirteen and bought me a carton. He was about as cool a dad as anyone could ever have. He smoked two packs a day, benson and hedges.
I have quit time after time, sometimes for a week, other times for a day or two. I always go back to the store though. I start driving there and I can't stop. I always said I'd quit when I got addicted, but I can't. I feel myself going to the store and I know what I'm gonna do, and there's nothing I can do about it. My girlfriend quit two years ago. She thinks I quit with her. I just adjusted my habit. I smoke all day at work, an hour before I go home, I stop. If she smells it on me, She doesn't say. Maybe she just thinks I smell like that. I want to stop, I really do. These things killed my Dad when he was 48. Three years ago. If that couldn't get me to stop what could?
Matt {bowb4me@hotmail.com} I just like to have a cigarette when i am stressed out. Like right now. i like how it feels in my hand, and i like to smoke when i am driving. it makes it so relaxing. i go days on end without a smoke, but when i have stress i like to light up. i constantly keep my cigarettes in my car in case i need one. i really don't want to stop. one thing that is weird, is that i think women who smoke are sexy. i am on a couple cigarrettes a week habit. very light. i like to sit outside and have a smoke in the evening. it is very relaxing. me and my girlfriend used to have our best conversations sitting outside and smoking. we were really able to connect to each other. one day i will stop for good. but right now it feels to good. i had one cigarette today. i think i will go and have another right now.
antoine I started as a 15 year old...my buddies would sneak off in the bushes for a puff ( small town..not cool to be seen)I eventually joined `em. Later in life ,with kids of my own,cigarette ash falling in their face as I held `em on my knee..definitely not cool and a bad influence ...I quit the butts and took up chewing snuff...10 years of snuff and my dentist tells me get off it i have precancerous lesion in my mouth where i keep the snuff...off the snuff back to the butts...bronchitis..cough hack wheeze...try the patch...against all warning I find myself smoking with the patch on...I immediately rip off the patch....(didn`t like the patch) the gum worked...but couldn`t get off the gum...chewing more and more... now 54 years old....and...zyban has worked..amazing but now 6 months off the nicotine still have to stuggle some..i do miss my little nico buddy...but this is the best I`ve ever done...I would recommend the zyban to anyone wanting to quit..but still..you gotta really want to Eric
Eric Pawlett {epawlett@uniserve.com} I start to smoke when I was 16, I thinke that smoking is cool, and my friend will look up to me...! Now after 3 years of smoking, I thinke that smoking suck, it make my sick, and smoking also make my look like a looser. I don't like smoking, I wanted to quit!!
Karl {karlgu@direct.com} I have tried to quit so many times. The first time was in 11th grade when my mum started crying and such. It makes me feel really bad to see her so upset with me. I have to say though, that the most succesful times where when I ran out of money or something silly like that. I can never quit for the sake of my health for some reason. So in the past 4 years I've probably quit about 20 times. Some times for a couple months, sometimes just for a couple days. But I always try really hard. And when I quit I always do something ceremonial with the rest of the pack- I'll flush them down the toilet while laughing at them or I'll burn them with a tortured pensive look on my face. It's always such a big deal. Right now though, it's been only a few weeks that I've been quit. With my junior year in college staring me in the face, I figure I need to quit now before I "grow up" or whatever, or I never will.
Allison {aoskar@zoo.uvm.edu} I quit for the same reason I started. I became somebody else. I looked around one day and realized that smoking was the last vestige of a life I wasn't living any more. The insignia of a cult I'd quit. I'd quit sleeping around because it wasn't safe. I'd quit drugs cause they weren't fun. I got pregnant. I started being responsible because I was scared. I was organized because I had to be. I was a working mother, pulling off a delicate balance of joy and peace and smoking belonged to a diffent time and place. It just wasn't me any more. I stopped wanting to smoke. Quitting was hard. My body held on hard to the phyical need and when if finally did let go it took a good bit with it. I gained weight. I haven't fucked since. I've made sweet and passionate love, but I haven't yelled til my throat hurt. Not about anything. I care about consequences now. I can feel the press of the cigarettes I don't smoke in my chest, like the men I haven't laid, the words I haven't said, the drinks I set back down. I am more disciplned. I am less wild. The manead died. I don't miss cigarettes. I mourn the smoke.
Skyler {skyler2@inetport.com} i smoked before but i quit right after smoking to ciggrates it was a nasty thing to do
asif samji {asifian@powersurfr.com} i hated smoking in high school it was a nasty flavor and it made my teeth yellow yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ian {iansucks.com} i smoked for five years and it was an addiction i really enjoyed. but a couple of relationships with non-smokers made me really self-conscious about having stinky breath and clothes, and also i lived in a non-smoking house, so it just started to be alot of hassle
i'm not very good at being moderate, so just smoking when i was out of the house or not with my boyfriends wasn't an option. i either wanted to enjoy the full blown chain-smoking addiction or become wondrously clear lunged and 100% ciggie-free
the opportunity to give up came when me and my housemates decided to do a ten-day detox program to clean up our diets and get healthy - this started off with two days of eating nothing but apples and then gradually other healthy foods were incorporated, and of course a total abstinence from tea, coffee, sugar, drugs, cigarettes, meat, etc. etc. etc.
not being able to have a smoke was the least of my problems, what with huge cravings for buttered toast and chocolate and ice cream to deal with
after completing the detox i felt sixteen again, and after ten days of not smoking it would've seemed pretty stupid to start again
i haven't smoked since. i missed it at first, and since i couldn't face drinking alcohol without an accompanying cigarette i decided to give up drinking too. i missed smoking when i was out raving, but i solved that problem by getting temporarily addicted to lollipops (ice cream flavoured chupa chups, yum yum!). the worst thing was that feeling of having redundant hands, and also the panic of not having that familiar crutch when i got stressed out
but it was really worth it, and actually not so hard. four years on i'm sooooooooo pleased i stopped and i don't miss it at all
poppy I tried to quit once, and i guess it sort of worked. It got me off the kreteks (very bad for you, especially if your a singer. In the course of one year, i lost my singing voice six times because of those suckers.)which i had a very hard time to get rid of. The scent and taste of cloves is one i absolutely loved. My answer to get rid of the cloves so i could have my voice back was to start smoking herbal cigarettes, the ones with no nicotine and no tobacco. I still smoke these today. I know the smoking will still screw up my lungs, but my singing voice is now better than before i started smoking kreteks. so now i see the herbals as my friend. The tend to make my voice seem much richer. (and my lungs blacker, but i'm a singer, i'd rather have a voice and black lungs than no voice.
does any of this make sense?
Yoshiko MORI {hoshimokazemokitto@eudoramail.com} I am 15 years old. I have been addicted to cigarettes ever since I was 12. I am still smoking. I can't quit, because really i dont want to. I have soccer try out's coming up in August, I have to quit for it, I love soccer. I can stil run and all but I don't want to start smoking again after soccer season is over. I think that I am going to stick with soccer and not smokes. What have I got to loose?
Chrstina {Morning_Star420@hotmail.com} I want to quit, for my husbands' sake, my sons' sake, and mine, but oh Lord, it is hard...... I just get that "I need a cig really bad" feeling, and I light back up...... I guess I need help....
Janet {bamagal@rotfl.com} i woke up every day with a sore throat, head fuzzy, slightly dizzy, crunchy feeling in my lungs. smoked for 13 years, pretty much a pack a day since i was 13. just decided i was done. that was it. it was murder in the car and after eating for about 4 weeks, and bars were out for about 3 months, but i just didn't want to feel like a smoker any more.
drue's right though, the smoke looks cool. i miss that... I have never smoked cigeretes, however i have never turned down a joint. My dad smokes cigars he quit for 3 years. He had open heart surgery in 1996, and then stomach surgery a month later. He said quiting did not make him feel any different He started smoking again 8 months ago.
Heidi {hturner@wg.charter-utah.com} Well, i started at 14 experimenting, i was always very against smoking until i tryed them, i smoked a few and i did cough a lot, they were ok, There was always that feeling in me that i wanted one, but i didn't want to be a smoker, so my friend(he is now a heavy smoker) and i continued to smoke a few a week, keeping it quiet, as i got older continued with the same, smoking by myself, about 2 to 5 a day, fully aware that smoking was addictive, but i suppose i told myself that couldn't get hooked.
When i was 18, my mother found cigarettes in my pocket, i was busted and very disgraced, she was quite shocked since i was always the anti-smoker in the house, Few days later i was getting sick of sneaking around, i decided that i would lite up one morning before college and sat down stairs puffing away, she came down and seen me.
I told her that i had been only smoking for few months to see if i liked it, she was not happy, She wanted me to stop, she told me that "you can't get off them things" as she is heavy smoker herself, i said that i will quit in a while, she said "that what they all say", she said "i though i could quit when i started.
After that when she ran out of cigarettes, she would ask me if i had any, then she was offering me cigarettes every so often, asking me had i quit, i had told her i had quit, and i had, i really did try for a month or so but when i moved to a college away, i just bought a pack and started again, She said did did you have any problem with stopping, i said "no"
So since then i have been on and off,
I haven't smoked in 2 weeks, hopefully i won't smoke, but i know sooner or later i'll will buy a pack and smoking all the time. I am now 23 and think i know how hard it is to stop I wish i never started
Mark {mksh_98@yahoo.com} i used to be a non smoker, even an anti smoker. Before i ever picked up a cigerette I had watched my Mother die from cancer that was caused by her smoking. I remember once she found out that I smoked dope, she would threaten to start smoking again, she had been quit for quite some time. Within one year of that time She was dead. My life was upside down, I was 18, i still didnt consider smoking as an option. I continued to smoke dope for a while, eventually quitting with the help of some "encouragement" from my brother. My life seemed stable, but wasnt. I quit school to travel overseas for a while, on the flight out, an aquaintance of mine was sitting near by, a well known "bad-girl" , she offered me my first smoke Marlboro Red soft pack. Not the first time I ever got offered one, just the first time I ever considered saying yes. I sat there, airline sponsered alcohol in one hand, Marlboro in the other, head spinning in the middle. I cant remember if I had any more on the flight, only the first one remains clear. I started to learn how to smoke, although 20, i still felt as though i had to hide my habit from my relatives, how strange. I slowly started my addiction, I remember thinking that in part it was a substitute of sorts for smoking dope, which I had started on again, a relationship that proved to be very destructive for me. Soon a pack a day was not uncommon, and soon i discovered the delight of lighting up after bonging on, wondered how i ever smoked dope with out a cigg afterward. This downward spiral dragged me deeper and deeper, exposing me to parts of my nature i didnt know of before, a learning experience? I guess it all is in a way. I have managed to quit everything else succesfully, even stopped eating meat, but that damn tobacco monkey keeps sneaking up on me. I have quit before, longest was maybe 3 months, and i do see the reasons why i should quit, but the reasons why i want one just keep emerging. I dont smoke so much now, mainly just bum them of friends, can do without... sometimes, chemical dependance brought about by emotional uneasiness... I will quit 1day, i should with what i have seen, and believe me i cant understand why i still go back to it sometimes, my last evidence of chemical dependance? I wish us all hope in our efforts
mike {krome108@hotmail.com} I finally quit after many tries. I used the patches this last time and they made it alot easier. I still have about one a week just to dance with the devil. I'll have to knock that off though, I can feel the tug! It's been 6 months and I know there is no going back. It was making me feel to stupid. I really hated when my non smoker freinds would chime in with thier support crap. No one but a smoker knows what a JONES is all about. If your tring "good luck", Oh yea, seeing my father dragging around his oxygen tank didn't help R.J. Reynolds cause either. I just saw ol' R.j. Laughin all the way to the bank with each puff....
DMc {roadkil9@aol.com} At the time I'm writing this, I'm on my second day of quitting. I'm hoping I can make it to the third day.
I've done this before, many times since I started. I'll quit for a week, just to prove that I can. I don't usually go through withdrawal. In fact, I rarely even think of smoking during that week.
But the notion of permanence attached to this particular time seems to be making all the difference. I'm getting all the symptoms of withdrawal. I'm worried that I'll start to put on more weight.
The thing is, I enjoy smoking. I love the scent of cigarette smoke, and I love the weight in my lungs. But I can't smoke if I'm going on the Pill.
And, more than anything, I never want to be pregnant again. I quit because I had gotten a cold and my throat hurt. I was sick and was smoking a couple cigarettes a day. I thought it would be a good time to try to quit for good, afterall, I had cut back alot. After many previous failed attempts, I thought this would be the time to really do it. And plus,this time I wanted to. I weaned myself off of them, every time I wanted to smoke, I smoked a few puffs and put it out, saved the halfer for the next time and so on. But, I only smoked when I desperately needed to. Eventually, I stopped smoking and haven't for 2 years now. All it takes is wanting to and will power.
Tina S. Well I tryied to quit smoking, i left it for a week but then started it again I've quit smoking at least a dozen times--sometimes for a day, other times for a week or month. It all depends on my boredom level, and how the experience makes me feel. Like those folks who drink solely to get plastered, I smoke purely for the nicotine buzz. After I smoke regularly for a while, the rush begins to subside, and I ditch the habit.
I was a pretty regular smoker in High School--Marlboro Lights and Trues--but I dropped it when I went to college. I'd see people smoking in the courtyard and think, "I miss that," but I never got the nerve up to start again, not until seven years later.
November 1998, I saw an ad in a magazine for Marlboro Ultra Lights, and I thought, "Wow, I wonder what they're like?" A day later, I was buying a pack of Trues and a lighter form a news kiosk in a bus station. (I couldn't break with old loyalties, I guess.) The experience of smoking was sweeter than I had remembered. Soon afterward, I made the switch to Marlboro Ultra Lights, and I've smoked on and off since.
Occasionally, I get disgusted with the whole business and chuck my cigarettes into the garbage can. Then, a few days later, I'll be back at the news stand buying another pack, dying to get outside and light up. I don't think I'm physically addicted, but the psych addiction--the thrillseeker aspect--gets the best of me, especially when I'm waiting for the bus.
Someday I'll stop for real, if only because my girlfriend is very anti-tobacco/anti-cancer, and she'd kill me if she ever found out about my little vice....
Maidrin Rua {maidrin_rua@yahoo.com} NOBODY LIKES A QUITER!
melissa williams {salermerc@aol.com} I smoked for about a year and half. Then, I went to Europe with some friends, all of whom are heavy smokers. By the end of the trip I was smoking 5 cigarettes before I even ate breakfast. When I got back to the States, I kept smoking like that, about double my past intake. Suddenly, I stopped enjoying cigarettes. They gave me headaches worse than when I didn't smoke and I was highly aware of the taste of nicotine on my lips and that coating on the back of your teeth. One night, my next door neighbor, whom I had never particularly liked, moved away. Before he left he bummed my last cigarette from me. I never bought another pack. Even the day after I quit, I was able to go to bars, drink coffee, hang out with my chain-smoking friends, and everything else associated with it and not smoke. I think my body started making some sort of anti-nicotine chemical. Who knows? I feel better now though and still smoke on rare, special occassions (like after a dinner party). That is all. I finally made my min dup about two moths ago to quit after 18 years of it - I did it gradually at first, going from a pack a day habit to 2 - 6 cigerrettes a day. THen the withdrawl hit - REALLY bad - anxiety attacks, heart palpitations, sweats, etc. I also developed a mild heart arythmia - non lethal variant - and thought I was having a heart attack! I will *NEVER* forget the terror I felt as I sat in that doctor's office watching my heart skip & beat all over the place. That did it. With the good Lord's help I take it one day at a time. I have absolutely NO desire to ever smoke EVER again - all of you who, like me, think it's cool or enjoyable - think again -I got off easy after 18 years. My arythmia is also stabilizing. Sure, the withdrawl is murder, but nothing that prayer cannot help.
Think twice before you light up.
Eric Vysther {nightwing85@usa.net} I started smoking at the age of 16 just to fit in with my cool friends. At 23 I wanted to quit but my rational mind said otherwise…one day while at a party a friend of mine gave me a Djarum clove cigarette. I got a buzz for 20 minutes and loved it. I told my self that if I smoke a couple of these cloves a day for a few weeks I could quit smoking regular cigarettes for good. It worked but I was smoking a whole pack of cloves a day (12 of them) my god what is happening to me. The smell was so offensive to a lot of people that I had to smoke alone or in hiding. Before school and after school…always while driving…masking it with tons of Armani and chewing gum after gum just to hide the smell but the yellow teeth were a sure give away. What really changed my ways was the fact that I have been working out and my lungs just were not doing well. So in my mind, now at 25, I wanted to quit. I had just finished school and moved to La Vern and it hit me. I had been there for less then 2 weeks…I walked into the liquor (near LA) store and before I spoke the lady behind the counter turned to her employee and in Farsi she said " that's the freak that buys up all of our cloves" she turned around and said " a pack of Djarum's for you, no" and I said yes and a can of Pepsi (I always drink Pepsi with it)…she did not know that I speak the language but the sad part was that I was so predictable and hooked. I told my self that this would be the last pack. I woke up the next day and changed all of my ways, cut the long hair and got rid of all my matches and I even threw out my car's cigarette lighter, while driving…came home and could not sleep…this went on for a few days until I bought some sleeping pills to help me sleep. Now months later I'm a nice calm and very friendly person, yes still predictable but nicely so. I even went back to the store one day and the lady said " a pack of cloves " and in Farsi I said no just some Pepsi and she turned white. The only draw back was the week or so of sleep disruption and wanting that head rush. I rather have lugs that can breath easy and smell all the smells that I could never smell before like my old stinking self.
Frank
Frank {mustbefrank@yahoo.com} Face it. The underlying reason, subconscious or not, for purchasing cancer from greedy murderous capitalists that don't give a fuck about you is:
you don't value your life.
it's a slow suicide. i'm not preaching down to you either for i'm on the same slow sinking ship as those of you who continue to smoke. maybe sometime in the future i'll see a reason to escape in one of the many life boats that sit idle. or maybe i'll miss my chance altogether.
]AWaRE[ xawarex@newyorkcity.com
]AWaRE[ {xawarex@newyorkcity.com} I started smoking when I was 12. For the next 17 years I smoked and people were constantly trying to get me to stop. I felt guilty about the fact that I loved smoking. I thought it was a weakness of character to do something that was bad for my health. I tried quitting several times, but I always went back after a few weeks. I always thought that smoking was something that I was in control of because I only smoked 5 a day. I didn't really feel addicted.
When I turned 29 I did quit for an extended period of time. For the next two years I didn't smoke. The funny thing is, I still loved smoking. I would see other people smoking and I would be jealous that they were doing something that I wanted to do. I would dream about smoking. I was happy, but I felt like I was missing my best friend.
About 6 months ago, after much thought I finally decided to start again. It was better than I remembered it. I thought that after 2 years I would cough and choke, but after a couple of drags it was like I had never stopped. After 2 years without a cigarette, I couldn't be still be addicted to nicotine. I appreciated smoking more now than I ever have before.
I know that smoking is bad for me, but instead of quitting and giving up something that I love, I have decided to just limit myself to a couple of cigarettes a day. I feel good about my decision to start again. I'm no longer a young and immature 12 year old. I believe that the 2 year stretch of not smoking has made me realize that I'm a smoker. I'm willing to accept this now and I've finally decided to never try quitting again. I think that life is about managing risk, it is impossible to eliminate it entirely. For me, the benefits of smoking far outweigh the risks.
Jason I come from a long line of hypochondriacs. At 14, just a couple of years after starting smoking, I got a huge case of paranoia. I had read about throat cancer and I was showing all the signs. I got soo nervous I ran to the garage and lit a cigarette. I asked the doctor at my yearly check up if he could check me for throat cancer, he assured me only people who have smoked "many many years" will ever develop that, and this was the mid eighties. I really wish he had scared me out of this.
I never thought about quitting again. I went through High School and then on to University as a smoker. I was not whiney about it, I was never "oh I hate this I gotta quit", I just accepted it as a part of me. I was a memeber of an elite type of smoker, the "I don't give a fuck I am a tough bitch this ain't gonna killl me pass me a light" There was one day that I remeber the thought crossed my mind, it was at school. This really obnoxious girl from New jersey who could never be seen without her Marlboro Reds in her hand quit! I did not even know her but I knew she quit. You may think this is odd but she lived in my dorm and I always saw her lighting up and she went NOWHERE without proudly displaying her pack and yet suddenly the cigs were gone. I even got the courage to casually ask her one day, and it was true. I remeber thinking, "shit maybe this is kind of bad". But the thought passed quite quickly.
Then after University I wanted to quit, the first time I wanted to do it. Actually it was my best friend who challenged me to do it with her. I did it. It lasted just about a year. Then I went back to Europe with my family and while there...well I(smoky me) came back!!! Again I did not really think of quitting again.
A year ago I started trying again, at this point I am 26 or so. I manage to give up but i smoke every weekend. Just when I drink. It really worked great. But then me and my boyfriend start having a real shit timne and I start to smoke again. Now I am like 28 and I have been trying for weeks. I quit for about 2 days then I get these feelings that say to me that smoking is too much a part of me and why bother if I am only gonna light up on christmas or next weekend if I go out. So then I buy them and quickly light up and suck down a couple so I cannot turn back, I smoke a day or two and then try again. I have been miserable and my boyfriend thinks I am constantly on the rag. I only want to quit so my skin does not start to wrinkle(which is my big paranoia). I also keep getting these fears that cause i am on the pill I will end up having a stroke or an aneurism(hypochondria again). I truthfully do not think smoking is so dangerous if you take vitamins(especially E A and C) and eat right; I just do not want to have a stroke or get wrinkles, otherwise I would be the tough bitch still.(I do think it commanderes some respect!)
Rebecka {rebecka@stockholmmail.zzn.com} I found this site by accident, while searching the web. After reading half the "experiences", I felt a heavy weight being lifted off my soul. I thought I couldn't quit smoking because of a chemical imbalance in my body, "laziness". I couldn't believe that there are other people dealing with the same problem as I am.
I'm in middle of quitting if you can call it that.. I decided instead of doing the "quitting- starting" crap, I'll try going from Camel filters, to Camel Lights, to Camel Ultra Lights. Two days ago I went to Ultra lights, and as the same when I went to lights, I didn't smoke more, I smoked the same. In fact, now I only smoke half a cigarette.
Maybe this will work maybe not, I don't know. What I do know is, the cigarette companies who decided to make cigarette addictive should either rote in hell or pay for the hospital visits on the future.
Brian, 22. Smoking for 8 years....
Brian {slims_@hotmail.com} I quit smoking once, in the worst possible place to do so: in France. I spent a week alone in Paris--alone except for cigarettes and Paris itself--and told myself I would quite as soon as my father met up with me at the end of the week. A few smoke-free days later I was in the south, standing on an old Roman bridge and enjoying the sun, the history, and the fields of grapes all around me. But what I really wanted to know was how the Romans got by without tobacco. The following week we were in Montpellier, and I wanted to know how the Cathars, in the midst of their persecution, got by without a smoke. The sun, the history, the sharpness travel gives you: blunted by the unappeased hunger for nicotine. Nicotine? Not really: I just wanted to smoke more than anything else. Smoke anything--dope, pine needles, pencils, whatever. When I reflected that I was missing out on life itself because I wanted a cigarette, I didn't think it was a sign or a lesson--how could I when everyone in France seemed to smoke? And not just smoke in the casual North American style, but as though their lives depended on it. Which is insane. I started smoking again as soon as I got back to Canada. Even when I got nailed at customs for not declaring the amount of duty-free tobacco I had on me, I felt the irrational justification all devotees of the Cancer Stick feel: man, I need a smoke. A smoke will explain everything, including starting again. So I still smoke, five years later; and I still curse the universe for making something so cool so deadly. And as of January 2000, I won't smoke. Except at parties.
Malcolm {lyrico@mailcity.com} I quit smoking cig's by smoking a lot of pot and getting over the cravings and headaches and bad moods and feeling of needing cigarettes. I still dig smoking pot.
Steve I have tried to quit several times. I started smoking when I was fifteen and didn't become full pack a day smoker until I was seventeen. The first time I quit cold turkey when I was pregnant with my daughter at seventeen. I quit quite easily because of morning sickness. I started smoking again. I don't know why it was something to do, I was upset and feeling insecure. The second time I quit I got a abnormal pap smear and the doctor told me to quit or it could get worse. I tried using the patch for about three months but was going through emotional upheaval and felt I was getting more nicotine than I needed. I started smoking again and I smoked when I was on the computer at home, and I rewarded myself a break from work and I smoked. I smoked watching a movie. I used it as an emotional crutch to withhold my anger from an verbal abusive husband. I did this for 22 years cigarettes were a emotional crutch and addiction. I left that husband and I tried quitting again using zyban. It reduced the craving, but I felt jittery and emotionaly distraught. I don't know if it was the nicotine or the medication making me jittery but I do know that I was nicotine free for the longest in my life, 3 months. The next time I quit smoking it was an ultimatum from my fiancee he said he wanted me to live. I quit again for two months then and started smoking considerably less only 5 a day and I have been smoking like that for a year. I am now a closet smoker, I still feel I can quit again, but I still have a emotional bond with my cigarrettes, it helps my insecurities and my anger. I have to smoke outside now. Several of my friends do not smoke. My fiancee has found out that I do smoke occassionally but he just doesn't undsterstand the emotional crutch I have with my cigarrettes.
I don't every think I will be totally be smoke free, I will smoke occasionally. I just like it too much.... I went to Las Vegas recently and noticed that it has become a haven for smoking legally in a public place. I saw several people in there 60's and 70's smoking. My grandfather smoked till he was 60 and quit. I just don't know the emotional benefits outweigh the negative. I am still trying to be smoke free, I don't smoke on the weekends.
If it every becomes illegal count me as a criminal.
Liz {compswz@magicaldesk.com} Ever seen those artificial voice boxes that make you sound like Stephen Hawkins?
I reckon that if your still smoking with one of them babies it time to think about quiting.
Harry {Djsine808@yahoo.co.uk} ...Smoking,...yeah,...I started at school,... thought it was pretty cool,...jesus, what a fool!
Rich {Rich@lemaison42.fsnet.co.uk} Our love affair is over. You made me cough up blood and I will always hate you for that. To see that hint of burgundy in the clump of beige I coughed up into the sink was enough to help me understand exactly what you have been doing to me. You have been robbing me of my ability to fill my lungs with air. Blood in my lungs. It is a small amount, but there is still blood in my lungs.
I will miss you... Smokers laments...
I started smoking when I was 16. I broke up with a girl(total bitch) who smoked. I wanted to know what the deal was. I found out. The transition into the smoking world for me was really easy.
I just smoked a Marlboro Red, I didn't cough, or anything. I wasn't hooked....
then I found myself leaving school (not too bad) just to have a smoke with my buddies. (pretty bad)
After that, I tried to quit, and I couldn't. It was more a force of habit than anything else at this point. I thought "I'm young, I'll just quit later when it's not so cool anymore"
Then I got married. Yes, child, Yes, non-smoking wife. I just couldn't quit. If I went longer than 2 hours, I was not a happy camper.
At this point, I had some sort of physiological tie to the brown mood stabilizer. Any time I was deprived of my 1/2 pack a day, I was not only hell on wheels, but I felt like I couldn't breath, I felt like the circulation in my arms was cut off.
Well, I finally managed to quit for real. cold turkey. LOTS of chewing gum. But I did it! I had energy! I didn't have to stand outside in the freezing cold and watch my kid through the window as I puffed away! No more nasty tension in my chest!
A month later, the bomb dropped. I lost my job. As I walked off the grounds, I bummed a smoke from somebody. I threw away my freedom, my newly regained health, everything because I couldn't handle losing a job I hated anyway.
Then another bomb dropped. Divorce. We lost our primal spark between us. Brand new more expensive apartment. Then I lost THAT job.
I tried many, many times to quit. But everytime I got that monkey off my back, the monkey just got bigger and meaner.
Now, at this point in my life, (now I own my own business) quitting is unfathomable. For me, my smokes have become:
my mood stabilizer
an occupation for my hands and mouth
a way to pass the time
the all around perfect accessory
my personal weight loss system
I still don't smoke in the same room as my kid,(very difficult) but any other time is cokes and smokes.
I'm at about 1 1/2 packs a day, and just the financial aspect is compelling enough reason to quit.
I don't know, though. I know these things will kill me, It's not fair to my child, my money is tight, and everything is an irritation to me. Plus, I'm deadly afraid of gaining weight.(I used to have weight related problems.)
I can see myself not smoking, being healthy and all that, but I just can't get over that initial hump.
I know that quitting one of these days is inevitable. For one reason or another I will have to give it up. Better sooner than later.
I Think I'll have another smoke and think it over.
I'll keep you posted.
mrfixit {mrfixit5333@earthlink.net} I loved to smoke. It was the best goddamn thing in the world, I thought. My dad smoked like a feind and quit. I still can't believe it. I remember sitting at the breakfast table, eating my Peanut Butter Crunch and the smoke go right into my face. It was part of my life. I started in the sixth grade. Never even inhaled. I just thought it was the coolest thing watching that smoke come out of my mouth. I started inhaling in the eighth grade. Jack, the grade school rebel taught me at an eighth grade graduation party. What a buzz and I can remeber getting that crazy ass-kicking nicotine buzz several times when I was younger. I still miss it, believe it or not.
I married a smoker and we quit at the same time. It was painful. We had tried to quit several times before with no luck. Let me tell you, cold turkey is the only way to go. It took us about a year to get over it. The first month wasn't bad. The second and third were ok. The forth we were ready to kill. After eight months I would purposely go to bars just to smell smoke and I still love the smell of it. I must say that when you go out with a bunch of people who smoke and you wake up the next morning feeling like you pounded down a pack of camels, it's satisfying. Sick, hey? It also makes me happy that I don't smoke two packs a day anymore. It's been three years plus a few months now and I feel pretty damn good. I'll have to agree with my father on one thing though. I ever a broadcast was made by the media that smoking wasn't bad for you, I'd fire up immediately. Just to add a funny story to my already longwindedness my fathers sister quit and said that she never felt like having one ever again. She asked my dad, who had quit for seven years already if he felt like having one ever. He said that he'd like to have one in each hand right now. For those of you trying I recommend the painful way, cold turkey.
Tim It has been 9 months. Reading these posts reminds me about smoking. It would be easy to start again. I miss the good smokes occasionally, sitting on the porch, with a cup of coffee. But I don't hardly drink coffee any more. I worked with a bunch of smokers and would always bum cigarettes, and now I have a job where you would have to ride an elevator 16 floors to smoke. It was the kick I needed. I stopped. It is better. My advice - take up yoga instead.
Charlie {charlie@llewellin.net} I never started and I hope I never start.
john {tltan8236} I quit on Jan 1, 2000. Sounds cheesy I know but Im 18 and had been smoking for 2 1/2 years and I realized that I didnt need it. It wass doing nothing for me but take my money and make me weak. But I must admit that damn it was comforting. I quit for my girlfriend. She is the most important thing to me and she used to smoke so being around me when I did was not easy. I quit cold turkey and it wasn't easy. Beer still makes me crazy for one but Im doing ok. You CAN quit if you want to. If you think you cant then you really dont want to quit. Its now February 5 2000 and Im doing great. No cravings. The only thing I miss is the way the smoke curls.
Nicholas {nciccone@intlspfx.com} HELP. ive always been the avid non smoker, until about 5 years ago or so. i still dont smoke regular cigs, but i am absolutely addicted to cloves!!!!! get this, i wanted to cut down on my ounce a week pot habit, so cloves seemed like the smart alternative. i had smoked cloves before, but a pack would last me a month or two(only smoking in the club or coffee house..)well ive gone any where from a pack lasting me 2 days to a week. naive as i was i thought cloves had no nicotine in them(healthy enough!?!) i mean thats the 'bad' stuff right?. well now ive tried to quit numerous times lasting from 1 day to a couple of weeks. but that urge is just too nagging. im like a shark, i can catch a wif of a lovely kretek in a sea of a thousand!!! and you better believe i seek it out, even if its just for a drag. i will take a hit off just about anybody!!! just before i found this site, i was searching for articles on cloves to research the supposed 10x damage they cause and found mostly info that they are no worse for you than regular cigs(go figure) well thats about it, ill probably attempt to quit a couple more times and hopefully i will eventually succeed.
ps. a friend told me about a friend she had who smoked only cloves like me, about a half a pack a day like me. he had to have skin grafts off his ass to replace the skin in his throat. i like ass and all, but i wonder what it would be like to have it in my throat all the time?? :)
ppss. i should have stuck to smoking pot!! id be a lot better off!!! peace
stacey {stbennett20@yahoo.com} I smoked an average of 2 packs a day for 15yrs.I quit a year back just because I decided that it would be an appropiatly random thing to do.I feel 20yrs younger now, but a new addiction has taken hold, which is proving to be impossible to kick.I have become addicted to taking radically differant desiciones, never based on logic or common sense, but instead based on weather the latest decision will sufficentally feed my addiction.Strange hua.
julian {julian_grech@yahoo.com} I met a man. So I quit. Simple as that. Quit instantly. Best decision I ever made. Kept the man (almost two years now), dumped the smell, bad breath, bad health and bad habit.
But I miss it.
Not the grits, pre se-—it’s all the stuff I associated with them.
I miss opening a brand new carton and feeling rich because that week I could afford to buy in bulk.
I miss sweet-talking my Bic into lighting just one more time.
I miss dumping the over-loaded ashtray because me and five of my friends have chain-smoked our way through another Friday night.
I have to admit it. It’s the livings rooms filled with smoke I miss most.
Trai I need to quit Smoking. I am a 15 year old father and smoking is a hard path to go. I would rater see my daughter get a nice bike that me getting a carton of Marlboro Smokes and it is verry hard for my girlfriend to see me choose the hard way of life for me. I need moral supprot and I need it fast. Help Me.
Bobby {BQJ_84@hotmail.com} I have tried to quit since I started smoking at the tender age of 16.
After an impressive 19 year smoking career (pack a day) I began making serious quiting attempts. What eventually worked for me was the patch.
I would buy the patch in its most powerful dose (21 mg) and went full bore on that for a couple of weeks. That was cool. Then during week three I started cutting the patches in half, then thirds, then quarters, then full stop. I loved the idea of denying the pharmaceutical companies revenue.
I am in my fourth month of smoke-free living and I feel great.
I loved everything about smoking, well almost everything, and will miss it often but I am starting to reprogram my artists mind to see it for what it really is. It is not a old black and white movie, it is not mysterious, it is not attractive, it is not your friend.
Do whatever you can to shake this habit. Accept the fact that you will be a basket case for a while...big hairy deal its better than having a tumour the size of grapefruit pulled out of your throat.
Good luck
Brian I made a friend a $1,000 bet that I could stop smoking for a year... actually, the bet was that if I lost, I'd have to pay him $1,000, but if he won, he'd only have to pay me $10. The year is up in four days, and I haven't smoked yet. And it's been easy.
The reason it worked, I think, is because without the bet, I was always saying to myself "just one more", and I could have that "just one more" forever, with no penalty. But with the smoking bet, it's that JUST ONE MORE that would make me have to pay the penalty!
I don't think this would work for everybody... if you cheat at games, for example, you'd probably cheat at this. But I tend to be scrupulously honest about game-playing and bet-making, so this worked for me incredibly well.
Robert Orenstein {rlo@perforce.com} I had been smoking for thirty three years when I attended a Mens Fellowship Retreat up at Warm Beach Washington. The speaker asked if any one having an adiction to drugs,smoking ect. would like to come forward and be prayed for deliverence from any adiction and I went forward and this little old man in his seventies prayed and asked the Lord to delevery me from cigarettes. That was in 1980 and I have not had a acigarette or the desire for one. PTL Jim C.
Jim C {RJ2211@aol.com} I don't remember when or how I stopped smoking. I just stopped. It had something to do with its narsty taste and it's horrid smell. I couldn't run my favorite clothes for days in a row, nor could I kiss someone without wondering how bad I tasted to the next person. It feels nice to breathe and laugh without my chest hurting. But every so often, when I'm sad or stressed, I light one up and take a deep drag...
Then I scrunch my face up hardcore and go "BLEEAH! This tastes like ASS!!!!" I remember why I quit in the first place. Only when I'm at my lowest can I tolerate a whole Marb-lite.
ODESSA {iccarus@angelfire.com} I started to smoke when I was 8 I am 15 and still smoking it is not somthing you can just quit it is really hard I have been trying to quit for a year in a half all I have to say is it is not somthing that you want to start because it's somthing that cuold take your life. lots of people smoke and can't quit but no matter what I will try and I will quit I know it sounds like I'm lecturing you and I'm sorry it is just hard to think about young kids smoking. Well thats all I have to say....
Toni Bryant {Sexy_420@hotmail.com} I once talked to a WWII vet who insisted that we won the war because Lucky Strikes were better then the Nazi’s smokes. He told me that nicotine kept him sane while he was hanging around with his friends waiting to die.
I just quit for the day, wish me luck. Maybe tomorrow too. See, I want to have some good raw material left for the genetic engineering that’s coming, oh, and I think it’s starting to effect my sex drive.
Once I heard Frank Sinatra say that he only takes three light hits from a smoke and then puts it out. I always wondered how those boys survived all that partying, but always seemed to have a smoke poised like a bowsprit from their clinking cocktails. I’ve always smoked DEEP, and dragged HARD, which makes a huge health difference. I am addicted, but only to one or so a day after dark.
I’m not smoking today because my right bronchi hurts from smoking like a chimney at a recent conference. I’ve been smoking since I was 18, now I’m 34. I’ve been up to pack a few times, like sophomore year and while working on movie sets. Smoking is my time to meditate. I started with Winstons at flight school freshman year. They put me in the hospital with bronchitis after a particularly smokey drunken weekend. That summer I discovered Chesterfields from listening to the Blues Brother’s tapes. My friends and I would lay on the grass and smoke looking at the sky. Chesterfields are strong enough so that it’s best to smoke them already lying down.
Next summer my friends and I decided to try every brand in the store, and we did, even moving on to smoke shops. We settled on Camel Filters for Americans. Dunhills as a great smoke. Turkish Sobraninis as the strongest. And German Davidoffs as the best of the best. Now I smoke American Spirit Lights.
I’ve studied smoking. I’ve lived it. But I think it’s time to quit for the day. My grandmother said she still wants a smoke all the time, and she quit Pall-Malls 45 years ago when you couldn't see the roof painting in Penn Station because of all the smoke.
But today I will not smoke. I will not smoke because it will NOT satisfy my urge for more then a few minutes, so it doesn’t really work then does it? I will not smoke because I once saw a big time doctor quoted in the Wall Street Journal as saying, "Cigarettes are the most effective over the counter anti-depressant in the world." I will not smoke today because healthy, loving sex is a good thing. In the time between the realization that I was addicted and the actual moment I quit, I didn't fantasize about my position. I was addicted. When well-meaning friends would say "Y'know, you should really quit" I no longer shook my head and told them not to worry, or chided them about recognizing my ability to make descicions for myself. I simply agreed. Yes, I did need to quit. I continued to smoke, but tried to quit frequently, to no avail. I simply couldn't take withdrawl symptoms. Then, at age twenty-five, I decided, for various reasons, that it was time to make a change in my life, and smoking would be part of that change. I went to a local clinic, obtained a perscription for Zyban, and started. Two weeks later, I smoked my last cigarette. Four weeks later, I stopped taking Zyban. It felt good. Hell, I felt good. After having such a terrible time trying to quit, it happened so easily. Now I've been a month or more without smoking, and I can't beleive that it took so long for me to quit. But then again, looking back over the reasons I gave for smoking, since some of them are gone, and not a few have changed position entirely, I guess it's ot such a surprise, after all.
Kerry Warren {kerry@warren.net} i've never had that hard a time quitting by using the patch, and it always makes me feel like a million bucks NOT being chained to the habit, but i always wind up starting again somewhere down the road... i quit for quite a few years, but then one summer in london we spent just a little too much time at my in-laws. psychotic ex-M-I-L + loads of relatives who smoke like chimneys and offer cigs round every time they light up + teeny little rooms + smoky pubs + alcohol = elise falls off the wagon with a resounding thump. must quit again...very soon...i've been smoking on and off for over years now (started at 12, mind you), and i'm finally developing "the cough." very frightening.
elise tomek {relisem@kc.rr.com} I have smoked for about 7 years. I have tried to quit about each semester of each year. I am now a laughing stock. I hate it, so I hate myself.
Seriously, though. . .maybe someday I'll know where I am where.
Chris Sullivan {05SULLIVAN@cua.edu} Thanks to suggestions from this board and support from friends and family, I was finally able to quit.
I decided to try the patch and it worked! It really took the edge off and made it much easier. I still get the urges now and then, but they don't last long.
After 29 years I can finally say I'm a non smoker and I plan to stay that way.
bh100man {arntim@bellsouth.net} I quit smoking about a week and a half ago. At the end, when I would smoke, my lungs and throat felt like they were tightening up and it was getting hard to breath. I thought about that and also thought about my 3 kids (one that will be born in September). I want to be around for them while they are growing up. I love them so much that I want to be with them for as long as I can.
I was not a heavy smoker, I averaged about a half pack a day. Some days were more, depending on what was going on. I quit cold turkey. I have had a few cravings for cigarettes and when I do, I find something else to occupy my hands and thoughts. I feel so much better already. I can walk up my 13 stairs to my bedroom and not be completely winded when I reach the top.
Maybe I will start smoking again after I outlive my kids. Good luck to all of you who are/will be quitting.
Jim Mitchell {bigmisl@hotmail.com} Actually, I started smoking on a 5.00 dare. When I was growing up, we used to play truth or monied-dare. they asked me a question i didnt want to answer. the pay off of the dare was 5.00. i didnt have 5.00 so i had to take the dare...to smoke a ciggie. which i did. and smoked ever since for hmmm bout 17 years. Well, a string of things in life has made me want to quit. starting with a surgery i had on my thyroid, ending with a vacation i took...room was 'non smoking' and i happened to note that i spent more time looking for 'where to smoke' than what to do for fun. i left the room bout every 5 mins to smoke. when we were out...i looked for places i could sneak off to smoke...then it hit me....i was acting obbsessed over ciggies. simply cuz someone said 'dont smoke' made me want to really badly. well i went to discuss this with my doctor and before i could say 'i want to quit smoking....' he told me i HAD to quit smoking. gave me this perscription for zyban. i set my quit day for the max: 3 months. but in the mean time...that back fired on me...almost 30 days from the time i started taking it....the need for ciggs...left. the taste, the midnight wake ups, all of it...gone. thought it was impossible....yesterday...had a meeting across town in an area i never fail to get lost in....prefect test. i had ciggies ON my person. which i hadnt smoked in 24 hours. went to the meeting....got lost again....drove back to the office to get directions home...and the odd thing...yes i stopped at a store...like usual but instead of getting ciggies
lakaya I said I wouldn't quit until I was ready... and I didn't.
But I did quit.
It's been almost (a week short) 6 months.
I only miss the white sticks every once in a while...
No patches. No inhalers. Just smoked the last of a pack and decided not to buy another.
I do miss the community of the smoke break though...
nitesite {nitesite@sunletter.com} Quit on fuckin April 19th cause same lame small town dentist said he thought he saw some signs of oral cancer... Went to two specialists over the next six weeks who found nothing!! Meanwhile its been six weeks without a cig and... Do I feel any better? NO!! Do I look any better? No!! Does food taste any better? No!! So why keep on trying? Because my 6 year old told me she was "proud of me" Go figure
Bob I quit smoking 25 years ago, after smoking 2-3 packs a day for 10 years. It wasn't easy, but it was simple. I just quit, cold turkey. No patches. No tapering off. I didn't try to replace smoking with food or sex or anything else. I didn't quit conditionally or temporarily. I QUIT! I promised myself that I would never have another cigarette again, ever, for the rest of my life, not for any reason. No excuses, no compromises, no conditions. Never look back.
Joe Hoener {jehoener@greatplainsmt.com} I am trying to quit using thenew prescription drug. I start 6/14. The reason? Well i just turned forty and its proably time. The main reason is that i have 3 kids-and the thought of them getting hooked scares the hell out of me..So i figure if dad quits-maybe they will not start..
oh well any encouragement to send please do..wish me luck
al {ahj12@hotmail.com} I started smoking the day my high school varsity basketball career ended. All my friends smoked, and I was dying to give it a shot. It wasn't hard to start...beer was there to help along the way.
Through college I smoked, quit, started again three months later, quit, started again six months later, and so on for five years. Three months ago I quit. Why? Why else.
I discovered my girlfriend cheated on me. On that day, I swore to myself that I would make every girl in this world want me more than my girlfriend ever did. This meant quitting for good. Making myself healthy. It's worked for three months. She still smokes, though. I still want her more than she wants me. We'll see where the story ends....
Chad {cgrout22@yahoo.com} One night a friend and i were sitting on my stoop smoking. He took a drag then started hacking. The coughing wouldn't stop and suddenly he sprayed blood out of his mouth and onto the sidewalk.
The cough abaited and we looked at each other then at our cigarettes.
We put them out and haven't even considered going back since.
Jay {sporq@hotbot.com} I was a serious smoker. No matter what I did, I could not stop thinking about cigarettes. I smoked since I was a kid and it was impossible to give up. Then I started a web site called cigarettessuck.com, where I showed pictures of diseased lungs, lung tumors, and statistics of smoking deaths, and I really started believing that cigarettes really do SUCK! They suck away my money, health and cleanliness. It seems that people love something to hate, and to me cigarettes are a great thing to hate because they are so bad for you and they make you smoke them, even when your heart tells you you don't want one. Anyway, please post in my forum at cigarettessuck.com, and help us help kids and teens every where never stop believing that cigarettes suck the big one!
Allen Miller {Allen_Miller4@excite.com} I got bad sick about 3 years ago had broncial infection that became Phnemonia, was down and out fdor almost 3 months. At tail end of this I decided I would have to quit smoking. I had a very real fear though, I had picked up smokes when i quit drugs in a rehab. Never smoked before that, so was very scarred i would go back to drugs. I went to my doctor and he gave me that new drug, and also enrolled me in a quit class. Ya have to go to the class to renew perscription. So I went thinking yeah right like this will work, first week ya smoke like always only you take the Zyban too then you cut back and set a quit date for 2 weeks away. I noticed by the 2nd week that I didnt get that panicky feeling a smoker gets when they go inside some where they no they can't smoke. That first morning smoke became skippable as well and before I new it quit date came and I put them down and did really great with no smkoes for about 8 weeks, then the doc decided I was done with the class and so I was graduated. This meant no more Zyban though and so guess what within a months time I was smoking again! I am so bummed and feeling pretty low, i will continue to try to quit again and again until I succeed but it gets so darned discouraging! Shanna AKA: shootingstarr90@hotmail.com
Shanna Moeller {shootingstarr90@hotmail.com} I have just sat in front of my computer for 6 hours straight reading every single post! I may sound like a complete nut case, but I haven't had a fag since yesterday and i'm trying very hard to use every method known 2 me 2 avert my attention from that very fact. I'M GAGGING FOR A FAG!
AS I said I have been sitting at my screen 4 quite a while. I have been through my entire CD collection, cleaned out my whole wardrobe, taken the dogs 4 roughly 15 brisk walks around the houses, but yet i'm still GAGGING FOR A FAG!
For me, smoking is my one love and my one hate. I've been smoking from the age 13 after stupidly deciding to try one of my parents cigarettes that lay temptingly in the packet.
When i look back on that day i realise just how much i regret it. I would have prefered it if i'd started for a valid reason such as peer pressure! But what bugs me most is that i chose to try it of my own back! CRAZY!
I'm now 17 and have been smoking for roughly 4 years. I've given up twice to date. once on new years day 2000, and again a couple of months after. Both were equally unsuccessful lasting under a week. Now i'm sitting here typing, roughly 15 hours into my third attempt.
When i first started reading all these messages i felt very determined to make this the last time i'd ever have 2 give up cigarettes, but as i progressed down the page i realised just how hard it is going to be, and began to doubt my will power.
This is why i want 2 giv up:
It's bad for my health (i suppose we all have to pretend thats the main reason!)
I'm a broke-ass-bitch and can't possibly afford another packet!
I hate the thought that i am so weak i'm being controlled by a little (beautiful) stick.
I hate all these so-called social smokers who manage to ponce all ur fucking fags one evening out, and have absolutely no craving the following morning for their first pull of the day. In short i want to be like the fuckers!
I don't want 2 be one of those 40 a day people who can't go 10 minutes without a fag or two.
But as i said there is so much to make me go back to that smokey road:
I don't want to become a big fat heffa coz i use food as a substitute 4 fags.
I don't want to become one of those incredibly annoying ex-smokers who piss me off so much!
I depend on my fags when i'm lonely! They make me socially acceptable in public places. When standing alone at a bus stop i don't feel quite so sad if i have a fag in my hand or quite so intimidated when standing in a pub by myself.
Lastly i love that glorious taste and the feeling when u exhale after a hard day at work. Basically i love smoking!
Maybe i will quit this time, maybe not, all i know is that i'd rather quit now aged 17 than make pathetic promises 2 myself that i'll giv up at every following birthday only to wake coughing up blood aged 45 realizing i still haven't given it a shot!
Good luck everyone and well done 2 everyone whose actually managed 2 become an annoying ex-smoker!
Monday 14th august 2000
Shel {Shel_belle99@hotmail.com} I watched family and friends die of the effects of cigarettes and continued smoking, though publicly I had quit to the world. Yes I was relegated to smoking where no one could see me. I hated myself but continued. Finally after being sick of hacking, I decided to get into shape and train for a triathlon. I ran, swam, and biked daily for 6 months but still smoked. I was one sick puppy. I guess I finally got sick of being disgusted with myself. It has been 3 months since I quit. I still get the urge, but it is less work and hassle to stay "smoke free" than it would be to have to start over again.
Last week I got hit by a car while on my bike. Guess I was lucky I was not killed. Really made me wonder about this smoking thing - but I continued to not smoke. I guess that was my final exam.......
Roger {geekster93@hotmail.com} I simply went to jail for four months, Of course, I started again the second I was released (I had half an old, stale pack in my posessions), but I found that it's really only difficult for the first week or two.
Joshua {amerifiend001@yahoo.com} a couple months after my mom's cervical cancer went into remission, my dad's yearly physical showed something that turned out to be a tumor in his intestines. i smoked my last cigarette the night she told me, and the next morning i made plane reservations home.
i really enjoyed smoking a lot. i don't condemn other people who smoke (well, ok, i think it's really dumb that my mom still smokes!). it's a personal choice i made because of my genetic background and personal history.
it's been exactly three months to the day (i'm serious here... weird coincidence that i didn't realize until writing this) that i stopped smoking, and as my father used to say, "i could cut your finger off and smoke it!" i'm going to see my parents next week, and they're a testament to mental and emotional strength, so surely if they can go through all that and still be positive, wonderful people, i can quit and stay quit. I've quit nonchalantly a few times, and then started up again at my leisure, but I just love the feel of it so much--is it totally dumb of me to say that it's going to be hard to quit? ;)
Jade {celandine@austin.rr.com} First I was grabbing Mom's Chesterfields, then it was my bro's Pall Malls. All my sorority sisters smoked and it was a social thing in high school: in the parkinglot or the one of two girls' rooms that were safest not to get caught (in between bells). That was in the 60's. I quit in '74 whilst pregnant, in '89 (ditto) and '91 (ditto). Went to get hypnotized when it worked for a friend who'd smoked for 40+ years; couldn't figure out how to it worked in a room designed for 600 people, held 900 or so that night. Bought Nicorette gum on the advice of a sister-in-law last week. Started to bring a couple pieces to work with me today and said to myself "Nah---" and smoked two on the way in here. Thirty-five+ year happy? Well who wants to be 70 in a nursing home anyway? Best thoughts, R K PS: Happy '4th Derek and here's hoping you guys have a great time! I started smoking when I was about 11 or 12 years old. I am now 30 and I have Asthma and Chronic Bronchitis I am hoarse all the time because of coughing and I wheeze so bad that you would be surprised I can breathe at all sometimes. I have quit when I get sick because I have to or I cann't breathe at all pretty much but then I always start back up and start the whole pattern over again. I am hopeless I mean If seeing all this happen to myself is not enough to make me quit what is ? I would love to know how I can stop and not go crazy!
Dawn Borski {darb@northnet.net} I started smoking after I turned 18, up until that point I had never even taken a drag. In fact I was the obnoxious little relative that used to steal and break everyone's cigarettes. I started smoking because it seemed like a lot of fun at the time. I was a senior in high school, all of my friends smoked. I took my addiction with me to college where it blossomed. My freshman year smoking was still allowed in the dorm rooms, so that's where I stayed. I was embarrased by my addiction and kept it to myself the majority of the time. The following year smoking was banned in the dorms so we tended to band together on the back porch. Smoking seemed to be the greatest conversation starter of all time. I don't regret the years I smoked because of all of the wonderful people I met sitting on the back porch of my dorm. We would take "study breaks" and smoke one Marlboro Red after another for hours on end. I continued to smoke through college. I did change brands because I was convinced that Marlboro was funded by the KKK, but instead of quitting all together I switched to Camels. I moved back to my home town after graduation and continued my habit averaging around a pack a day. About a year after I moved back some friends and I went out for Mardi Gras. I must have smoked 2 packs that night. The next morning I woke up with an unbearable hack and I decided I was done! That actually lasted for almost a year and then I started smoking cigars. I smoked black and milds like a champ. I was working on a masters in sport and exercise science at the time, but it didn't matter to me, even though I knew all of the facts, it didn't curb my desire to smoke. This went on for over a year and I did inhale. Then once again I woke up one morning after an overindulgent night and I quit. I have smoked a total of 2 cigarettes since then. I do have to watch myself because the two times I have smoked (over the last 2 years) I have felt an INTENSE desire to have another. Well after all of that, I am now smoke free, healthy and happy.
Lisa G'day, I give up at least three times a year. I am 29 and have been smoking since I was 17. Currently I'm only on about 5-10 a day but I also have a dope smoking problem in the evenings. My lungs are suffering and I feel like shit. Constant aches, pains and asthma are not unusual. I was always a fitness freak and this smoking thing has caught up with my fallible human body. I hate it so bloody much. Last year I found a great method for giving up. Its called the Passebeq method. Without trying to plug his/their product, it involved listening to two tapes. One every time you smoked and another general relaxation/hypnotherapy tape once a day. If only I didn't have a few over Christmas time last year, I'm sure I'd still be free. Try this method. I have tried all others and this was the closest I came to success with minimal willpower. All you have to do is carry a walkman around, and play tape 2 when you light up. I say to my crowd at the pub, excuse me for a minute, go outside whack the tape on, have a cig and don't feel guilty. It is important to stop in your own time, slowly. After about 2-3 weeks I couldn't bear anything which introduced smoke into my lungs. I'm starting this again next week in time for a great Aussie summer. Paul
Paul {cablecar@sanfranmail.com} 6 months...still smoke free, and by now I gotta tell you, I can not imagine that I smoked as much as I did. the smell of them makes me physically ill now. food tastes the same to me, dont know why people think it should taste 'better' but i have MUCH more energy than I did a while back.
Hang in there folks.
Lakaya
Lakaya {peepla@cinternet.net} Ah, the joy of smokin' that slender white cancer stick. Whoever says it isn't cool is an obvious fool who doesn't know what he or she is talking about. I actually had my first cigarette about three months ago. It wasn't peer pressure or anything like that since I am 22. I think all those anti-cigarette campaigns that the government keeps spending money on might have been the reason. Don't know for sure. Anyway, I was in Las Vegas and was broke. I had lost all my money on the blackjack table. All I had was about 5 bucks. So I walked around the Rio casino bored out of my mind and there stood the giftshop. I walked in and started to look around. I initially wanted to buy a cheap cigar, but they didn't sell em'. I looked around some more and noticed a fancy red cigar looking pack of cigarettes called Dunhills. I figured, hey dude, the package looks like cigars, who cares if they're cigarettes. Screw it. So I bought them and went out by the pool by myself to give em' a try. About four cigarettes later, I was chillin' and feelin' kinda good. It was an interesting effect. Not like marijuana or anything like that, it was more soothing Let me start at the beginning, or as near to it as I can get.
I started smoking when I was 15. I quit at 29. That's 14 years of smoking. Ugh. That statement alone disgusts me. After a week, I bought a pack and a book of matches, but told myself I could have one in an hour if I still wanted one. That hour turned into 5 years.
I did not smoke for 5 years. Five years.
People would ask me, do you smoke? Nope, I quit. But it would only take one, just one, for me to go back.
And it did. Just one, that was it. How utterly pathetic is that?
I've smoked for 14 months now and I've quit again. 3 days is all, but hey, you've got to start somewhere, right? And here's why.
My best girlfriend was just recently hospitalized for asthma/bronchitis/smoking cloves and spent 4 days in ICU. I got to watch first hand how horrible it was for her not to be able to breathe. And, across the room was a woman in a hydraulic rotating bed who was a chronic smoker that had to be turned alternately from side to side to let the fluid drain from each lung.
My friend has recouped, and returned to work, where we've all quit smoking.
Do I miss smoking? Yes Do I want to smoke? Yes Will I smoke again? And go thru this a third time? Not on your life baby.
I've quit, not stopped. I used to smoke. And I'm okay, really, I am. Is it bad? Not so bad, but yeah, it has it's moments that it sucks. But can I do this? For me, maybe. For my friend? You betcha.
Thanks Carly. Thanks Staci. Thanks Debi. Thanks Annie.
Stace {shamilton@westaff.com} no,i dont think i will ever quit... why? i think having a smoke after sex is a must ...can't have sex if you have a smoke so there for i need to smoke!!!
candy i started smoking at 13 for no reason. my parents constantly tell me to quit they show me newspaper articles etc
but
i love a fag
one night i decided to stop.i started to crave hardhore. in my fit i started to scratch my chest.i scratched and scratched untill i bleed. i went down to shell and bought a deck.
quiting is impossible
i might one day. maybe. hopefully.
its not that easy
steph {rodskisteph@hotmail.com} i love it too much.
smoking is my companion.
It is my only Friend.
nicola {refugee90@hotmail.com} smoking is in my genes
i wont stop
my kids will smoke
their kids will smoke
there is no escape.
die if you have to.
sam {samgibson49@hotmail.com} Smoking is a part of my life.. I've tried quitting but i just realized in the end I could never suceed and i was never strong enough to fight the delicious smell of cigerette smoke, I'm at the point now that if i tried to quit again, I would probably kill myslef
tara {star063@aol.co,} I've smoked now for 20 years (about a pack a day) started when I was sixteen. Of all the things I've done, of all the mistakes made; if I had my life to live over again, I would not change a thing. Except one, I would never have started smoking. Drugs/alcohol/lifestyle/ etc. all very experimental, all experiences welcomed and much knowledge gained. I have been able to pick up and put down all things when and where wished. Except cigarettes. Now I'm 48+ hours without a smoke.....withdrawl has me in her arms.....I wish I could just go away somewhere......smokes are all around me... they are everywhere....... .....48hrs is longer than I've gone with out a smoke.....
Mixcoatl {mixcoalt@webruler.com} Once, when I was 27, after I became pregnant. I quit cold-turkey and went through hell. But I was smoke free for almost a year. I was really proud of myself that I had the will power to quit like that.
About a month after my daughter was born I went out with some people from work for drinks. One guy was smoking Marlboro Lights and it smelled soooo god. I "bummed" one from him and a half-hour later I was buying my own pack. I didn't smoke much at first, but then my marriage started falling apart. Pretty soon I was up to a pack/day. After the divorce my consumption was close to 2 packs/day, but I've since cut back.
Sometimes I would like to quit, especially when my daughter asks me why I smoke. Other times when I'm enjoying a cigarette I could care less about quitting.
Tracey W I knew I had to quit when I caught my daughter smoking, I was shocked she was 13. I really didnt want her smoking, I knew the dangers but did it anyway. I decided to talk to her, she claimed her friends smoked and that I smoked so why cant she, so I explained about the risks and how it would ruin her health cause she was so young, so right there we agreed to stop, I gave her a ciggarette and had one myself when we finished the ashtrays were binned the ciggies binned, lighters everything. I was hard for her to quit especally cause her friends smoked and she was hooked as was I but we made a deal and we suported each other and we both quit and neither of us have gone back or want to go back!
Michelle I quit smoking for about a month in 94. I was in a bad car accident and broke a bunch of ribs and had a collapsed lung. They put in a tube (without anesthesia) between your ribs to re-inflate your lung. I wanted a smoke, but I didn't think it would fly if I asked the nurse to wheel me and the lung sucker out for a smoke. When I was out of the hospital I stayed away from tobacco about the same amount of time that I was on strong painkillers.
Sandy {sanvel27@aol.com} I have tried to quit several times. Once I went for a month, but my best friends smoke, and i started again. I am afraid I will never be able to quit without avoiding my smoking friends. I am afraid I will never quit period. I am afraid smoking will make me look like Keith Richards before too long. Ideally I could have a cig once in a while, like once a week or once a month, but I don't think I can. I have a daughter now, and my wife no longer smokes. I do not want to get cancer and die before my daughter grows up. I also do not want her to follow my bad example.
Kevin {kevinclaussen@yahoo.com} I dont smoke but my does It bothers me and I hate when she lights up. She said that she would quit but I dont see this happening. If I lose my mom to something as stupid as this what is the point of living if something this stupid can just take a loved one away than whats the point. The goverment knows that it should be outlawed and that it is very addicetive but do they band it... No and do you know why it's because the tax money from ciggerites make up more than half of our goverments money. To save lives... To be loved... For you kids..... QUIT.......Quit. i'm 15 years old.
Criag {Tarzanman22@aol.com} i quit for three months. i was in love. she disliked my smoking, and i had no trouble quitting. i just did. it was spring and the sun shone and i was in love. then we had a terrible row and broke up for a while. now we both smoke.
daniel farnbo {zoltan@saintly.com} Stopping smoking is easy, I've done it a thousand times.
Mark {doingwell@quiting.com} I started smoking when I was 12 years old. I'm going to be 18 in June. I haven't had a cigarette in 4 days. I'm shaking. On the edge of ripping hair out. I haven't left my house in 3 days. I've been getting depressed...really depressed...but then I ask myself...why? Why am I so sad right now? Why do I think I can't go on? Because I don't have a newport inbetween my middle and index finger? Because I'm not exhaling that glorious smoke?
Dead X {EvilDead101@houseofhorrors.com} I don't smoke and never have, but I'm trying to get my best friend to quit. So I've been looking for good tips here on the web...and stumbled on this site.
My friend doesn't seem to listen when I tell him about my father, a long-time smoker that (as my friend also claims) "just liked to smoke". I tell him how my invincible dad started coughing in the morning, and how he started getting more and more tired by the end of each day. I tell him how, when Dad started passing blood in his urine, that he finally decided to see a doctor, and how the diagnosis was bladder cancer; common in smokers. I tell him how my dad went through radiation treatment...then chemotherapy...twice...and about the sores Dad developed in his mouth and throat from those treatments. And the vomiting. And the weight loss. And how he lost almost all of his hair. I tell my friend about how my once-invincible dad had to start using a walker to get around, as the cancer spread throughout his body.
But Dad still smoked...until near the end, when he could no longer hold a cigarette without help from the hospice worker.
My friend hears--I know he does. And he's trying to quit again. I pray that this time he is successful. But still too often he says, "I just like to smoke".
Good luck to all the quitters (and I mean that in the very best sense) that have taken the time to read this. If my Dad's story inspires just one of you to quit for good, then my father will have not died in vain.
Karen {barrkm@msn.com} to day gone 7 days without the white coffin stick but i could not resist any longer this thing will kill me if i dont resist,i will do it for my wife and my 8 yearold daughter. love the drag back of smoke in to my lungs but im sick of feeling weak and out of breath at 33 years and the fact that my wife says i sound like a 70 year old man first thing in the morning. writing this with hope tone.
tony huddlestone {tonyhuddlestone@aol.com} I tried to quit smoking many, many times before I was able to actually do it. I guess different ways of quitting work for different people, but here are some things that made it easier for me:
1) Visit http://www.tobacco.org/Resources/599ingredients.html and read through some of the poisons in cigarettes.
2) Figure out why you smoke and why you want to quit. You really have to want to quit.
3) Think about smoking while smoking. Think about what you're doing. Smoke very slowly. Break smoking down into as many parts as possible. Do everything slowly and think "I'm taking the cigarette out of the pack." - "I'm lifting it to my mouth." - "I'm lighting the tobacco." - "I'm inhaling smoke slowly." - "I'm holding the smoke in." - "I'm exhaling smoke." Basically just make it so smoking isn't a subconscious thing. Then stop all together. Don't try, just do it.
4) Exercise. It'll help.
5) If you start to smoke again, then think about it as being a slave. Get mad and think about how you won't be a slave to poisons any longer. Maybe find some friends who don't smoke.
Former Smoke-Fiend Well, here is may story. I started smoking when i was about 12 or 13. Do not for the life of me know why i started but i did. I have tried to quit lots of times and i hope this is the last one. I am 37 now and have smoked more than 2 packs a day for all these years. I wake up coughing i have no energy and i hate the smell and the yellow on the house walls. Never noticed until i quit 2 wks ago how bad everything smelled. I have been cleaning alot these 2 weeks. I am only writing this to help me and hopefully help someone out there to stay off the ciggs. My mom who is 67 is on oxygen 24/7 she smoked for years. She finally quit totally last year. When she first was put on oxygen she would sneek a ciggy out by the pool. When she went in the hospital again a few months after that and almost died she quit. My dad still smokes but only out side away from her. My other mom (both my parents have remarried after divorce) Has astma and takes a breathing machine everywhere she goes. she puts medicine in it and has to breath the vapors that come out. She still smokes and its hard to watch. I guess as long as i think about them i will be able to quit. It has been 2 weeks and i do feel better. I can breathe alot better. I do have a metal taste in my mouth but i just chew gum alot. I have alot more energy also. Well i better go before this turnes into a novel. 4/01 GOODLUCK TO ALL OF YOU AND GOD BLESS US ALL!!!!!
virginia {justmeve} I had smoked cigarettes on and off since I was twelve years old. My parents didn't smoke, but my grandfather did. He was in his eighties and smoked half a pack of Alpines a day, and collected those little coupons from each pack.
In junior high school I did it just to be rebellious. In high school it became a social activity and gave me an instant peer group. Most of my friends in college smoked as well. After college, I cut down, but I never quit. I started having bouts of bronchitis, and read depressing literature from Anita Loos and Djuna Barnes, and I shouldn't forget Jane Bowles.
I was 29 years old when I moved to San Francisco, and suddenly I couldn't breathe anymore. Wheezing became a regular part of my life, but it didn't seem to be from cigarettes, I had actually started smoking less. Eventually, I couldn't smoke anymore. Just like that. It might have been the pollution in the city. I lived and worked near Union Square. Whatever it was, I finally stopped smoking.
Then I moved to Hawaii and started again. Stress from a new job send me back to the pack. When I quit my job, I quit smoking and started running. I completed my first marathon last December. I still don't smoke, but sometimes I drink a little too much.
joann {joann99@hawaii.rr.com} My friend and I got caught. We were smoking for eight years and our parents finally caught us. We were also having sex at that time to. Smoking was cool so was the sex
jenni {jjjj@hotmail.com} I can do this. I hate that I am a slave to an alien member of my body. At least I wish I could hate it as much as I think I do. Cold turkey is the only way I can do it. Once I let one in the cycle starts all over again. I hate the cycle too. I only work with 1 other person. She smokes a pack a day. I quit cold turkey again 4 days ago. I've bummed a few. Not good enough. If I can conquer work, I can conquer this completely. My mom smoked when I was young and I hated it. I cried and pleaded that she would stop. She did. I started. She cried. I hated myself, and I tried to quit even young and it only lasted a while. I'm only 23 and I've been smoking on and off for 10 years. That's utterly disgusting. My boyfriend hates that I smoke. He wants me to be around for our children and grandchildren. So do I. He's conquered smoking. He figured it out. He got out, and he hasn't gone back. I'm jealous. I want his power. Haven't had one yet today, it's 10a.m. at work. I'm going to try harder. This time, I really want to do this. I'm ready for the suffering to commence. Wish me luck. I need it.
Krys {mysticbody@aol.com} I started smoking when I was about 13, 14 or 15 I think I remember I had a boy friend who was 18 who smoked and where I lived then the legal drinking age was 18 but they didn't really care as long as you looked old enough so I was always drinking and whenever I got drunk I would want a cigarette. After a while I just smoked to smoke with other people..then all alone then all the time. Me and my friends used to see how many cigarettes we could smoke a day why? Who knows we were young and stupid. Anyways in 98 when I was 16 I moved to CA had to kinda quit for about a month because before I arrived in CA I stayed at an aunts house in Canada BUt I say kinda because I has cousins and we got drunk and I told him to get me some cigarettes. Then once I moved over to CAli kept smoking and started doing drugs and when you do drugs you wanna smoke and smoke and smoke. Especially when I started going to raves. I tried to quit on and off in between partying but it only lasted for a few days cso then I'd eventually go and party again...nowadays I smoke if anyone around me is cos i try not to buy my own anymore so that i don't smoke too much so actually now I ony smoke about 1 or two and I'm done but still I'm sure my lungs don't look too hot! I'm thinking about trying the gum.
Michelle {jackercrack@cs.com} See my website for the way I stopped after more than 30 years.It is a personal non-commercial site.I found a way to stop. I smoked since I was 13 years old. I remember the first time I bragged to a girl who was a few years older than me that I'd smoked before so she gave me one of her cigarettes and told me to prove it. There started my 12 year love affair with nicotine. The years passed and the comfort and cofidence afforded by cigarettes served me well. I imagined I was like John Travolta in Pulp Fiction, so suave and cool, and this made me feel strong. I was soon in my twenties and enjoying the prime of my life....hold on, no I wasn't because that was when it started. It was the tightness in the chest I'd never had before. It was also generally feeling like crap, having no money, and always stinking of stale cigarette smoke. Finally the day arrived, I was trying to run from my work to the gym which wasn't very far. My chest closed up, my breath was short and I was having an asthma attack which I had never had before in my life. That was the last straw I had to quit, for myself and for my daughter, so I went and got nicotine patches. Failed. A few months passed and Zyban had just come on the market so I got a perscription for it. It worked like a charm. Old habits die hard though and 6 months down the road, during a time of stress, I caved in and started again. At first I felt I could give it away, I'd done it before, but its an incidious habit and I was hooked again smoking as much as I had before. I'm now back on the Zyban and havn't smoked for a week. I hope I stay free of cigarettes this time. I must say though, I've never been one of those reformed smokers that preach to smokers. I just wish I didn't have to give up something I enjoyed for so long. My health and kids come first though. Smoke 'em if you've got 'em and enjoy them while you can, I know I did ;)
Caustic
Caustic {caustic@excite.com} I was 22 years old when I took my first drag. It was a menthol. The experience was truly surreal. I actually escaped my high school years when mostly all of my friends smoked. I never cracked under peer pressure. When I "officially" became a smoker I switched to regulars. I said the same thing - that I'd quit before getting hooked. Well, it's 15 years later and the results of my test show that I have the lung capacity of a 61 year old. That scared the shit out of me and made me go cold turkey. It's been 8 days since I last had a cigarette and my withdrawals are becoming more and more intense. My friends ask me if I feel better since. Sad but true - I feel worse. The nausea, dizziness, and the mood swings. They're all bad but smoking is worse. I've had pneumonia twice and this time it's bronchitis. Some people can smoke until they're 90 years old - not me. I was forced to come to terms with that. I realized that if I keep puffing away I'm not going to be looking like one of those glamorous moviestars out of a 1940's movie with a cigarette hanging from her mouth. I'm lucky if I make it past 50. For me, smoking is bad - I'm not a good candidate. Don't get me wrong - I love to smoke and wish I could forever but I just don't think I can. Wish me good luck.
Louise Today is my first official day of quitting. I know it may sond like bs, but in less than an hour, I am going to be at the oral surgeon to get my wisdom teeth removed.
I have been smoking since I was 12 or so. And now I am still 2 years under the legal age to buy cigerettes, yet that taunting want for the need of nicotine haunted me day in and day out.
In the past 4 years, I have spent about $2,000 on cigerettes alone. And I wondered where all my money went. From this day on, I hope to not smoke, although I expect myself to fail when I turn 18, cause I know the first thing I am going to do is go out and by a playboy, and a pack of camel lights, not because I really care to buy either, but because I can.
For the past year or so, since I picked up smoking again after a 2 month quitting, (which may I add, I quit for somebody else besides myself, that was a mistake) I have had chronic colds, chronic phlem, a begginers smokers cough, and the tired loss of breath as I go up stairs. Until today, I have been smoking about 5 packs a week, the worst it has ever gotten. And I hope that with the help of the pain relievers they give me today, and the realization that for the next 2 weeks I can't smoke anyways (high risk of getting mouth cancer with the lacerations in my mouth), I will be able to quit.
Bryce {bsnoopyz@yahoo.com} I started smoking around 7. The kids i was hanginging with were 2-5 years older then me so to be cool i started to be like them. Im now 31 years old and starting smoking to be like them leaded to many other drugs.i honestly beleive that making the choice to be like everybody else am shore that i would not be were i am know.i have tryed to stop so many time but just can't stop for good. made it a week or 2 but that's it. Now i'm at the point thatgoing up 2 flight of stairs and i cant breath. I'm smoking as i right this.iwrighting this incase one kid see's this and does not start i started to be cool and if i cant stop soon I'll be real cool 6 feet in th ground. but tonight i am going to the doctor i want to try a new nicoten replacement they have Smoking my companion my enemie. Emphysema is my motivation. When Doc tells you to stop or drop dead its time to get serious. Pull out all the stops. My new inspiration has given me an all new approach. New Ideas. Coming soon to your email website; STOP SMOKING its right in front of your FACE.TDT1@intellex.com
Johnny Bravo {TDT1@intellex.com} i did quit successfully a couple of months ago. it was far easier than i had thought it would be, not easy!!! but easier... only because i was really totally ready to do it.
i just woke up and was driving to the store for a carton (i was down to my last butt) and when i lit up that last one in the car, it just tasted SO awful. i'd been relapsed for 2-3 years and had been trying to quit for most of that period of time, unsuccessfully. i just said to myself, screw it, why am i doing this to myself? i hate it!!! i knew if i was going to try to quit, i had to pick a moment when i really WANTED it, not just set a date like some people recommend.
so i seized the moment; i turned around and drove home and i had some patches left over from my last attempt so i slapped one on and went straight to the internet to look for nicotine anonymous, because a friend of mine had found them very helpful when she quit. i emptied out all the ashtrays and threw out every butt and cleaned it all up and took the trash out to the curb because i knew in a few hours i'd be digging threw it to find some stub and light it up. that IS the kind of smoker i am.
i did find a lot of very useful information on the NicAnon site. first datum that helped me was that nicotine addiction affect the the mind by distorting nicotine's actual hold on you. it makes you believe you can't quit, when it's actually not that bad (as i found to be true, more about the patches in a minute). again not to say it was *easy* but it was not NEARLY as bad as i'd believed it would be.
the second most helpful piece of information is that smoking renews the craving. so if i smoke again, the craving is renewed, but if i don't smoke, it will pass and eventually become less and go away. this helped me hang on through each and every one of the cravings that hit me the first few days.
the first 3-4 days were the worst. i also had a "fight" with my boyfriend (our first) and we weren't talking and that was really, really painful, but in the past something like that had ALWAYS happened every time i tried to quit, and i was just determined not to let it shake me.
so day 3 was the worst of all, i was in a chat room on the internet freaking out because i had a craving that WOULD not go away - probably because i was seriously thinking about blowing it. there was only one person in this NicA meeting and he helped me do deep breathing until the craving finally passed. the mood swings were hard. i was crying my eyes out on day 3 also.
but by day 4 it was markedly better, and day 5 was actually amazingly better. remember i did all this with a 21 mg patch on my arm. made up with the boyfriend so was really glad i didn't blow it over that.
within a week or so i noticed i was thinking of smoking less and less. at 3 weeks i just quit wearing the patch, didn't downgrade at all, and barely noticed the difference. the psychological dependence is i think (in my case) much greater than the physical! i was smoking over a pack a day when i quit. i still think about them, i still want them, but i do not CRAVE them and i do not want to torture myself by lighting up. i never ever want to have to quit again. and i don't want to die from smoking. i don't want to ruin my quality of life as i grow older by getting cancer or emphysema or prematurely aging my skin. and i love having the extra 150-200 bucks a month in my pocket. oh yes...
elena {loftus@mediaone.net} i was 6 years old. and i wanted to somke becouse my sistres did and so did my dad my mom did but she died when i was 5 my dad could care less and my isters where never there so i did and one day my friend caressa asked i i would like to go to church with her and so i did i never been there so i thought it was kindda stupid but i went any way i was 9 when i went when i got home all i could think about was what the sunday school teacher had said i pretended as if i wasent listening but i really was. i asked my friend if i could go back sometime and she said yes and sftera while i came every sunday and started to qit smoking well not do it as much than on september20,1996 i became saved and ii trusted God as my savior. God has changed my life and now i have quit somking all together and i thank God he is my savior and i trust him with all y heart. god ahs changed my life and i know he can change yours!!!!!!!!!!!
ashley My brother Zach inspired me by quitting. I had told him in effect that the day he quit was the day Hell froze over, but quit he did. After waiting 6 months for him to break, I decided he was serious and that smoking wasn't as much fun now as it was when I was in middle school. So I tried it, with the patch. I lasted 38 days, me and Zach both broke, and then we decided to quit again. I slowed down dramatically, at first only letting myself smoke 1 an hour. Then one every 1¼ hours, then one every 1½ hours, then every 2 hours, and so forth - also cut down from Marlboro reds, which I liked, to generics, which were OK, to ultra-lights, which were like sucking air. By then I was smoking 1 a day, and not even inhaling. By the time I quit, I wasn't even looking forwards to them anymore. So now I have been off for about 2 months, a record for me, and I don't even think about smoking for more than 5 seconds a day, every day. Pretty soon, I'll even stop doing that.
Zebadiah {cupcakerat@yahoo.com} I started smoking one day at my friends house when I was 16. I took one "puff", hacked up a lung, coughed, and choked and then quit right there. I never touched another worthless piece of pure cancer stick again. It was remarkably easy. Once I took my first puff and it became painfully obvious to me that this was a filthy, disgusting, slow painfull expensive form of suicide, I quit immediatly. I watch my friends cough and hack up thier internal organs. The can't run, they have stinky breath, thier teeth are disgusting and they smell. I Quit remarkably easily. And i'm very proud of myself, because now i will live long enough to collect the social security from people who DIE from the cancer they gave themselves. *^_^*
Dylan Ford {Jewishmexican@hotmail.com} i've had open heart surgery due to smoking but i still smoke like a pack a day i try to quit but its just too hard i have a daughter whois allergic and i still do it my son smokes too and i regret ever starting im always coughing but its really addictive i just got off beer thats it for now hopefully ill be able to quit soon if you read this dont smoke and please pray for me thank u
Garry {pepsigch@aol.com} i am that kind of smoker that usually smokes when i get bored, drinks, or uses the "dtressed out" excuse. I hate the smell, the taste, and the habbit, but i still do it. the funny thing is that when i know i can't have one (around my parents) i won't even crave one until i am alone or out at a bar. is that weird?
hello i know this sounds crazy cuz when i first heard this i thought it was absolutely mad. but -- i quit smoking after i read a book. yes, i just said a book. it's called "allen carr's easy way to stop smoking." i swear, i do not work for him or his publishing company or anything related to him and his book. i feel the need to advertise this book because i could not believe what a miraculous effect it has. and i want to share it with others who want to quit but can't.
a friend's father smoked 2 packs a day for over 20 years, read this book, and the next day, had no urge to smoke. (i know, this sounds absolutely insane.) i smoked a pack a day for 10 years, so after hearing my friend tell me this story, i thought -- if HE did it, why can't i?!? and of course i thought -- he quit after reading a book?!?! cold turkey?!? that's bullshit!! so, i decided to buy the book and see what all the fuss was about.
i couldn't believe it myself. but i was actually EXCITED to quit smoking. this sounds crazy. i know. i've been there. but hey, if reading a book could possibly mean that you'll stop smoking forever, then there's no point in NOT reading it, right?
i didn't even use a nicotine aid. i don't even have mood swings. is this a miracle? yes. why not try it -- but only if you're ready to quit.
it's been 2 and a half weeks for me. i can honestly say that i'm done -- for good this time. no more. i don't want it and i don't have to have it. the feeling of freedom is indescribeable. i never thought i'd see the day. i'm just happy that now i'll have more days in my life to see...
jen {jenxr@hotmail.com} I'm 38 and I have smoked since I was 12. I really enjoyed it. I still would enjoy it if only I could smoke. I just got out of the hospital today after having a Heart attack Saturday evening. So needless to say I can't drive and my wife has dispossed of all my smokes. I hope to quit now as I didn't miss the coughing up my lungs every morning experiance I use to have. That's right after 3 days in the hospital my major cough in the morning has been reduced to a little clearing of my throat and a little dry cough. That's it.
Bill i started smoking at 16. that's more than 30 years ago. my wife and i have been together as boyfriend and girlfriend and married over 20 yrs. all that time, my wife asked me to quit smoking. i never smoked in our house. not in her cars. the smell of a cig would get into her cars though from my clothes and other things. one day, little more than a month ago, i heard a hurt in her voice that i had never heard before. disappointment that i hadn't quit smoking. three days later i quit. it's been 32 days now and i am bound and determined never to smoke again. i have been taking welbutrin and using the patch. what has helped me the most is two things. the support of my wife and a book called how to say no to a stubborn habit. my wife is the best. this book is good too. thank you, baby for your support!!
john s. {jsluvsbj@aol.com} i'm trying to quit now! i'm on day 3 without a butt! its not beating me up yet but i'm sure it will get harder like it always does! after 17 years of having a stress crutch, i'm sure the battle will be long and fierce. i truly want to rid my life of a NASTY SMELLY DISGUSTING LIFE ROBBING, EXPENSIVE HABIT. whenever the urge comes on i take 5 or 6 deep breaths. that usually does it.
mark {notar34@hotmail.com} I'm sitting here at my computer, in my mother's house.
I'm house-sitting, and I cannot smoke inside.
Damn.
Reading about smokers is the worst thing when you're trying to quit. ....But, I gave up on that a while ago. quitting, it's in the future, and I don't think about the future often. right now, though, it's just something I do. Shots of vodka and cigarettes. Pot and cigarettes. Beer and cigarettes.
My personal favorite, shrooms and cigarettes.
Untill I quit all of those, every one of those, I will not stop smoking cigarettes. I am 22 years old and ive been smoking since i was 13. I started when my parents got a divorced. I just figured something bad is happening to me so now is when i do something bad to myself so my friends and started. It was cool. I mean yiu weren't cool if you couldn't inhale. My boyfriend at the time smoked and we went out for 5 years. So thats basically what we did all the time: have coffe and smoke, drink beer and smoke, play cards and smoke, go out to dinner and smoke, and so on. It was probably the ONLY thing we had in common. Two years after we broke up I started dating a guy that i had graduated with but never spoke to because he was one of those guys that was very tasteless. Everytime i saw him in school he had a cigarette in his mouth or he was high or something. But when i saw him 2 years after graduation, he had quit everything cold turkey and i found that to be very admiring. I thought to myself, if he can do it, i can! We started dating and i wouldn't smoke around him but then i would have 1 and 2 and then i was smoking all the time around him. It didn't bother him at all and he never pressured me to quit. After 2 years we moved in together and i noticed things were changing with my body. I was smoking a hell of alot more and i was gaining weight cause we were eating out more and going to bars. Then one day i found out a friend of mine killed himself. And this made me do alot of figuring out of who i am and why i am here. We only have one life and one body to live it in. So i said fuck it i'm done. Cigarettes smell, they obviously kill you, make your teeth yellow, and they are so damn expensive!! I quit cold turkey and i feel great. I do get urges but they go away. Just keep saying to yourself "NO". It works well at least it did for me. I am happy and quiting actually helped me lose weight because when I got the urge to smoke one, I did something like washed my floor or cleaned out all my kitchen cabinets. You just find something to do and keeo active.
Chrissy {ccm1180@aol.com} I had toyed with quitting for years and it was usually related to my cash flow. This time, though, it was related to something that everyone hates to think of themselves changing for.
It was for a boy. A boy with allergies. One of which was smoke.
I still smoked at first, while I was at work, giving me time to go home and shower. But as we started spending more and more time together and then realized that yes, this was heading towards the inevitable cohabitation, I had to quit.
So I did. One day, I just stopped. I had tried that before over the years and it never quite worked, but this time it did.
Just gone. No more.
But sometimes, sometimes in the car, on the way home from work, I long for that feeling in between my fingers.
Mmm...
evangeline {sweetevangeline@earthlink.net} Years Smoking: 29
Habit:
cigarette she had stolen from her folks. "You wanna try it?", she asked me. I looked at her and said, "Yea, but where?" There was an old gas station in the little town I grew up in that had an outside bathroom you had to get a key for. We smoked that
cigarette just like we had seen our parents do a million times. We didn't inhale and I'm sure we must have coughed our heads off, but no matter. I felt so grown up. I felt like I was way ahead of the other kids my age because I had smoked! (It's funny that we sneaked to a gas station to smoke because this was back in the days when people smoked in grocery stores! Looking back, we probably could have just walked around and no one would have said anything.)
We had worked our way up from a smoke here and there to stealing full packs. We still weren't inhaling, but it was becoming a habit.
suggesting way. No problem. I looked the girls straight in the eye, took a drag and for the very first time in two years, I inhaled. I think the girls thought I would start hacking and waited for it, but after a half a
cigarette, I was doing fine. All the years of second hand smoke from my folks had prepared me for just such a moment. It was a moment I was proud of, sad to say.
I am a hard-core smoker according to what I have read. I will smoke in between
throwing up. I smoke my way through bronchitis and pneumonia. When hospitalized,
I will even sneak off the floor without the doctors permission to get outside to
have one. It's the first thing I have always done each and every day and the
last thing I do each and every day. I have always enjoyed smoking so much that I never wanted to even try - until
lately that is.
block or I am so out of breath that I think I am going to suffocate. My heart pounds so hard that I swear it's coming up through my throat.
I can't seem to get into shape anymore even though I have always been an active,
hyper person. I miss my stamina! I know that every smoke is another nail in my
soon-to-be coffin. I have three kids, two younger ones that I would like to see
graduate. What kind of example am I setting? How will they feel when I am gone?
Gone because I put my smokes first over their security and happiness? I know I
need to quit, but how when it's been such a huge part of my life?
huge that I don't even know what it's like to be a non-smoker? I can't remember.
I just can't remember. Maybe I'll try quitting for my 40th birthday. Maybe.
Bloody hell. I was fairly well a puritanical sort while growing up. In my first semester away at college (I had attended a branch campus near home the first couple of years) I turned 21 and for the first time in my life got to try drinking. Might not have a done thing to some, but now being somewhat older I've gotten to meet many times, in many ways, my personality's tendency toward addiction.
About a week after that first drink, I bummed a cigarette from a roommate in the apartment. So that's about 11 and a half years of smoking. The longest smoke-free period in that time was around 45 hours. Even times when I was so sick I couldn't stand taking more than three drags I would keep getting cigarettes.
Now things are changing. While family members have often urged me to consider quitting, that never was enough. But a little over a year ago, I for the first time met a woman who enjoys my company. It was only recently, the past few months, that she would begin suggesting that I should consider quitting.
And I have been wanting to quit.
I want to quit. It's important to remember though I'm doing this because it's something I want. Especially with my addictive nature. I want to be around, I want to spend years with this woman.
Just over 5 days now, using the patch. I've seen some say they haven't noticed, when quitting, any difference in how things smell or food tastes. There's been a huge change for me. I can't believe how much better everything smells to me now. So much better that at times it seems too intense, and I can feel that craving which says "Go have a smoke, get things back to normal."
Yeah, normal. All of us have an amazing capacity to lie to ourselves.
Friday last week, the first day of my quit, I spent a good 20 minutes just smelling my girlfriend's hair and neck. Incredible. Wonderful that she lets me indulge myself that way too.
So I found yet another reason to stay smoke-free. It ain't easy, I love the damned things, felt like crying almost last night after driving home through a mess of traffic. Find myself in times of distraction reaching toward the shirt pocket. Raising my fingers to my lips after the first cup of coffee in the morning.
Bloody hell. My addiction now is to become smoke-free.
gastric reflux {someone@dot.com} I started smoking 18 years ago. I'm now 33 and regret every moment about it. I gave up about 12 hours ago. Took so long as I was always scared of failure!!! Hopw do I sue all these cig. companies. ??
martin {martin@thejacobons.co.za} correct address for above is : martin@thejaccobsons.co.za
martin {martin@thejacobsons.co.za} My father died when I was 14 due to an incurable form of cancer in his intestines acquired from smoking from an early age. He was 42. He fought for 3 long years to survive. he even tried to quit for a couple of months but when he found out the cancer was terminal, decided there was no use. i stood at his bedside holding his hand and watched him die... i could only think of how much of a waste it was for him to go. he was so young. I was so young. i needed a father. our family was going to be ruined forever and nothing was ever going to be right again. well, life goes on and you heart can heal, but why the FUCK was I addicted to cigarettes by the time I was 16?! How in the world could I have ever let myself be sucked into the same fate as my father? How could I break all of the promises that I made to myself about how I wanted to be healthy and be there for my children and wanted to watch them grow up? I hate cigarettes. They are the product of hate and greed. Everyone knows they kill you. Nobody believes they arn't harmful and if you are stupid enough to think they won't affect you, you're already dead. I'm 21 now and have tried to quit for months over a dozen times. I've rationalized the addiction in my head to make it tolerable. My most recent lie to myself was "I've only smoked for 5 years, I can smoke for probably 2 more without any longterm effects" I might as well shoot myself in the face if I believe that. I just recently got the flu and had no desire to smoke for a couple of days and thought it would be a good start for quitting. It been over a week and I've been in bars and even had cigarettes in my hand without smoking them. I will quit. I hate myself when I smoke. I'm not going to die like that...
Ken H. {kph1@uakron.edu} You have to quit. You know it. You want to do it. You need to do it. How do you start to stop? That was the hardest part for me: actually making the leap to a fully-committed effort. For years, I would occasionally make half-hearted attempts, never really believing that I had smoked my last cigarette. You can't succeed like that. You have to really want it to be your last.
I quit over 7 months ago. Slowed down some for a couple of weeks, chewed about 3 pieces of the gum during the first week, but for the most part it was cold turkey. Guess what? It was easier than I expected. Sure there were cravings, but they pass quickly. You let them pass through you, and move on to something else. Now, those cravings are pretty rare, and easy to get over.
Now, I am a non-smoker. I'm never going back. Once I fully committed myself, I made it. After 20 years of smoking. I've already saved over $750, I have much more stamina, and I have withdrawn my addicted daily donation to the SOBs at the hump-backed cigarette company.
If you're a smoker reading this, commit yourself to it. I'm here to tell you from the other side, it's better over here.
Way better.
Jonathan i've been successfully quit for almost 14 months now; stories of how i started and how i quit are available on my website. I smoked for 10 years, quitting frequently. I quit 15 years ago for good by this method:
First, you start off by smoking your normal number of cigs per day, BUT you can't have any until 6pm. And when you have a smoke, you have to smoke a second one immediately after. That's the rule, after 6 and two at a time. Gradually, you taper down, two less the next day, two less than that the day after. Always smoke two consecutively -- it begins to build a physical and psychological revulsion. That feeling became much stronger than any feeling of pleasure I may have gotten from tobacco, which I've long since forgotten.
James {elpelado@attbi.com} I quit 54 days ago. I smoked for 13 years-- one half of my life. Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I've ever done. I didn't quit when I was 18 and my boyfriend died of lung cancer. I didn't quit when I was hospitalized and had to schlep my IVstand outside so I could smoke. I didn't quit though I work in drug rehab, and was in total denial about my addiction. I didn't quit when my 5 year-old niece told me she wanted to be like her auntie and smoke when grows up. This was my first time quitting, and I know it'll be my last-- I am never ever going through that withdrawl thing again. Horrible, awful, scary experience-- and I used Wellbutrin. But it gets easier every day. And a few days of feeling crappy is a such small price to pay-- now, I feel infinitely better, I save so much money and time, and I get to spend more time with loved ones since I'm having to go outside all the time. Quality of life improved, quantity of life increased. It's so worth it. And I was the most smokingest smoker ever-- so if I can quit, anyone quit.
Kathleen {kataclyst@yahoo.com} I just smoked. It was horrible
Noob {kevinhdeng@yahoo.com} i started smoking in college, irony being i spent my entire life till that point harassing my family and friends to quit. i suffered through the teen years and didn't succumb. i got to college; it was way too small, very much in the middle of no where and there was nothing new for me to do. i had done the fake id bar thing, i never had a curfew, nothing to rebel against, so i got to college and needed something new. smoking seemed reasonable. clearly i was an absolute idiot.
i tried quitting once -- made it 8 days, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me and i was almost fired. i ran close to 10 miles a day twice a day and loved nothing more than smoking right after, especially a nice hand rolled drum. i lived in san francisco for a short time and scoffed at all the smoke bans - lighting up in hooka bars and yelling hypocrisy. when bloomberg annouced the 8 dollar cigarette pack in new york i started a protest - actively expressing my outrage and gathering others to join me.
i begin ordering them over the internet, buying them en masse at duty free shops in airports, slipping friends who did a lot of international travel extra cash to get me cartons. i was dedicated, convicted and active about my smoking.
so one night, the man and i are on the couch, it's about 10pm, we've just inadvertantly smoked our last pack of duty free cigarettes. we're both too lazy to go out and get another pack, to ashamed to order a pack from the grocery down the street that delivers so we said fuck it, let's quit.
will and fortitude made me smoke, apathy made me quit - i love what smoking does for people.
alison I have smoked heavily and quit, smoked heavely and quit, since I started smoking when I was about 13 or 14 years old.
I have quit for periods of months, and even a year and a half. but I would always go back to that misery. Now, I have just quit again, this is actually my first day/. I already feel better in my lungs, but it's that addict voice in my head telling me to grab a cigg that drives me nuts..
anyway, I can quit, that I have proven to myself over and over. It's staying quit that I am intending in doing this time...
one day at a time
R Viharo {RV@highintelligence.com} I've been sitting on this Sunday and reading the post on this site, knowing that I simply at long last have to make the decision never to smoke again.
It has been a very long time in coming. I have always known smoking was wrong. But the sense of wrong was for years drowned by the desire to smoke. I really loved smoking my Marlboros; they always did the trick, provided everything I needed. Now I know why I expect so little from life.
I went back to college a while back, a college where meditation is part of the curriculum. I was, for the first time ever, on a great routine, exercising, eating right and well, and had for a couple of months a very real and nourishing inner peace that made life as smooth, blissful, and satisfying as I can ever remember. And I wasn't smoking. There wasn't the need.
But as course I was taking ended, I became aware of a huge void in my life (despite the palpable inner peace). To fill it I leaned on that old habit. I bought a pack of Marlboros and started all over again. Right away I realized my mistake, and I also realized what a disastrous habit smoking is. My body had rid itself of all that impure garbage from smoking, and I immediately felt the negative effects. The habit is far worse than we realize.
I couldn't stick with school and left, returning to the same life I had been trying so hard to give up, maintaining, of course, my dedication to Marlboros. As life got worse I smoked more. Over the last month I started buying cartons, but today I think I've had enough. I have had windows like this in the past, but this one is open wide enough for this Marlboro Man to jump through and emerge from with a new freedom from an old master.
Russ {russwollman@yahoo.com} As I sit on this Sunday and consider, I know that my mother, my strongest human connection to life on Earth, hasn't got a lot of time left. Her time hasn't brought her all the love that people really do need. We all need it more than we know. And we owe it to our companions on this journey to give as much as we can, for their sake as well as our own...and I am listening to James Oswald's "Sonata on Scot's Tunes" and wondering what was inside the man that could produce sounds so full of love, light, sweetness and heart...and I see a couple in a marvelous dance of love, honoring and respecting each other as some might think only the angels can do...and now I have in this aimless life a much finer and sweeter idea of what I want to bring to the many hours that are left me, and what I'd like to have as well.
There is no reason to expect and desire anything less than the best. The face you see in the mirror is undoubtedly worthy of all that and more. Just remind yourself of that during any encounter with doubt.
Russ {russwollman@yahoo.com} I started smoking at age 13. I smoked for 3 years, quit for a year, started smoking again for 1 year and 3 months, and now I am done with those damned things. When I was 13, my family owned 4-wheelers and we would ride them all the time. One lovely day, me and my bro went on a 4-wheeler ride through some trails around our house. We stopped and he pulled out some smokes. So, I tried one and liked it. I got more and more addicted with every cig that I smoked. I was officially addicted by the age 15. I never even attemtped to quit until I made friends with someone who was in the middle of quitting. So I quit for a year. It felt soo good to be free from smoke. Then some major drama happened that I wont even get into, and guess what.... I got addicted after 3 days of one cig per day. After a year and 3 months of smoking everday, my bro decides to quit. He walks into my work one day and hands me a 15 page flyer that he found and printed off of the internet. I read it and quit the same hour. The funny thing was, I wasnt even planning on quitting lol I have been smoke free for 13 days and dont plan on ever lighting up again. I feel like cigs had me on a ball and chain, and I have broken free!! I can breath, smell and taste again and my throaght feels like its been cleaned. Here's the link for what I read:
http://www.heartscreen.com/smoking_info.html
p.s. feel free to email me 8D
Rob {rvfrase@hotmail.com} I came across Quest cigarettes, a step down program, which isnt designed to get people to quit smoking, just to step down. I used step 1, for one day, then I figured, there wasnt a difference, so I used step 2 for a day. It was a bit different, but still I went on to step 3, a nearly nicotene free cigarette.
While using step 3 I started chewing Orbit Gum, so I would always have something for my hands to do instead of reaching for a cigarette. Now my breath is fresh--and I dont have the essence of cigarette smoke around me.
I am still working on quitting, and havent been through a nicotene fit in a while. Its been more than 12 hours since my last cigarette, and I do beleive it was my LAST!
Good luck in your Quest to quitting smoking.
Greg Max well...my story is gonna be a short one.this is for all you people who think that quitting cigarettes is impossible.well,i say IT IS POSSIBLE. you may have smoked a lot of those packs,you may have completely covered your ash tray with butts of cigars,you may have done smoking for as long as you can remember BUT IT'S NOT POSSIBLE TO QUIT.
how did it do it?well...for one thing,i never really did smoke that long.i never did have a plan of smoking for a long period...i was just curious. after smoking a few cigarettes with my friend,i often see myself dying in a hospital because of lung cancer.i've even had nightmares about it.
then one day,i told myself i was gonna stop.i was gonna quit for good.i decided to live a good life. for all you people who are thinking,"hey,it's only one life,might as well do all those crazy stuff." well,that's the fact,my friends...YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE!AND IF YOU CONTINUE TO DO THE THINGS YOU DO...THEN YOU'RE NEVER GONNA LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST. and don't give me that,"hey..it's my life and i'll do what i wanna do." well,buddy...it ain't your life..cuz someone died for you so that you may live.his name is Jesus. and what about your friends?your loved ones?those people who look up to you?those people that are so close to your heart?man,if only i could...i would sent a bomb to the tobacco fields and bomb all the tobacco factories.if only i could....i'd show what a great life you can have if there are no cigarettes in the world.
i hope i have enlightened you in some way.May God bless you and forgive you,my brothers and sisters. []D //-\\ []_[] []_
paul {silver_rod8@yahoo.com} I'm 35 and have been smoking since I was about 20. I gave up a week ago. It has been easy so far because I've stopped kidding myself that cigarettes are a part of my personality and are somehow associated with good times.
I've realised that they are actually associated with bad times to come in the form of cancer, heart disease, amputated limbs etc.
There is nothing "enjoyable" about cigarettes unless you're into self mutilation.
Jasper {jaspersingh@fsmail.net} I tried once quitting cold turkey, and it lasted about 8 hours when my boyfriend and I got into an argument and it got heated and the only thing I could think of to calm me down was to light one up, so I did.
About 6 months ago in the summer I quit for a week with the patch. I started feeling really weird and my arm was burning and really red, and swolen, when my fiance picked me up from work and drove me to the hospital and I had overdosed on the Nicoderm patch. I smoked ultra light 100's and evidently the 21mg patch was too much, for 24 hours I couldn't have nothing, no patch, no cigarette, I slept for about 12 of those hours counting the hours until I could have a cigarette, if I have to go through all this trying to quit, I may as well smoke I thought. I was more addicted than before, had to go the Ultra light shorts. I think now my next step to help the mood swings and to be able to function without depression is to get help from a doctor. I heard well buetrin (pills) is the best way to go. We'll see.
Jenny Ritter {bcatch@bellsouth.net} There is no such thing as a social smoker. You are still an addict, even if you have one a year! Put them down people. Put them down and stay away. Do not romanticize them. Remember always, if cigarettes were your friends, they wouldn't kill you
Susie {MistressDiablo@hotmail.com} After some 8 years of pack a a day smoking ive finally quit, forever.
It all started some months back late one night sitting at my bedroom window sucking down my last for the night. It was late, my eyelids were heavy and I was ready to fall asleep the second my head hit the pillow. General health diminished by years of habitual smoking and little to no exercise, I wondered where I used to get all that energy, when I could stay up well into the night and breeze through the next day.
I recall having a cigarette in my hand, still about 2/3 left and with glazed eyes staring at it smouldering away. A red cone of burning tobacco emitting trails of white smoke, winding up towards my bedroom roof. A thought came to me; wonder what that looks like in my lungs, compressed into a white haze where fresh air is supposed to be. I daydreamed for some minutes, imagining my body as a machine of sorts, complex series of actions & reactions, it did what I told it to, it was me who gave it reason. Why smoke? What good does it do for me?
It occured to me that the best metaphor for smoking would be a mosquito bite; you scratch it because it's itchy and it's itchy because you scratched it.
I butted out the remainder of my cigarette and threw it out the window, not sure what sort of levity I had experienced. With that in my head, the next fre months of quitting seemed mildly testing at worst.
Within a few weeks it occurred to me that I was going whole days not thinking about a cigarette, and although I still wander outside at work sometimes, I really am just out there for fresh air
Chimera Over the past 20 years, I have tried to quit many times. When I was young, I would fling the pack of cigs out the window of my fun little red truck in a fit of passion and overdramatization. Hours later, I would be back in the spot, hoping they were not damaged. I would bang walls and cry for want of that magic cure but never lasted longer than a week.
Two years ago, I got serious and stuck the patch on, confident that I could do it, I would do it, I would suceed. I hated every minute of every day, I dreamed of long smokey nights, a pad of paper, and the dark night sinking into my flesh. Needless to say, I starting again, within a week.
I would preach that I was hardcore, I was a smoker dammit and so what if they were $10 a pack, and so what if they were banned from restaurants and what about my freedoms and the government wasn't going to control my life. Hmmmm. Dress me in black baby, light my cigarette and let me live in my poet's world of martini swished nights.
Months ago, I was wandering through the bookstore, hacking my little asthma cough (ah, the sexy little asthma cough), when I stumbled across a little book. Allan Carr's Stop Smoking and all that for the price of a pack of cigarettes. Yeah. Right. Whatever.
I bought it. I read it. I haven't smoked since. For the first time in my adult life, I am a non-smoker. I've started working out again, I've started enjoying life and not always thinking about that next cigarette, I've started new adventures and new interests. Wow. Who knew that I could still enjoy donning my blacks and drinking a martini with my pad of paper and my angst spewed out? 'Course I can also don my hiking boots and hit the trails and dance in beauty with my pad of paper and my happy spewed out.
It was easy to quit. It didn't hurt like before. It felt good. I hightly recommend it. I have quit my self-imposed slavery to a stick of stench. Yah!
daisies {orangedaisies@gmail.com} I went abroad to London for a semester and I picked up the ugly habit of smoking. Sadly, my memories of my time abroad are all clouded with smoke. My grandfather died of lung cancer 4 months ago. On his death bed he begged me to stop smoking...I didn't listen. Then my uncle had a heart attack and once again I was told to stop smoking. Nicotine was unfortunately thicker than blood. It wasn't until my heart felt like it was going to burst in my chest that I decided I'd done enough harm to my body. During a work break I went outside to have my last cig. With great hesitation I smashed the newly purchased pack between my hands and threw it in the garbage. I haven't smoked for about a week now. I refuse to be an addict, I refuse to die a horrible death and most of all I refuse for nicotine to be thicker than blood. Never again, never again.
Nat : O ) I tried to quit in January...2001....My husband said he'd leave me if I didn't...you see, he had just quit and control freak that he is... well...he did pay for the cigs... I went on the "patch". It worked great. I was 3 months in...and had finished using the "patch"...We went on a trip...hubby dropped me off at an Art Gallery....not his kind of thing...he dropped himself off at a bar, and returned for me in a couple of hours...feeling VERY good...AND SMOKING. I found out that ANGER makes smoke!! It's now October 2004....we have started the same story again. HE has quit....I've pretended to quit....but not being able to smoke in the house....or around joint friends...etc...ect...has led to much less smoking...think I'll give it another go.
Cathy I smoked throughout highschool. Started because I was already smoking drugs. How much more harmfull could it be to smoke cigarrates.. I got into a pack a day. New years hit and I'd been having chest pains for a while. The day after new years we smoked a lot and the pain was becomming unbareable. I'd already tried to quit several times lasting months sometimes. So the final time I quit was the easiest. It's kinda funny how we need to see the negative effects first hand before we quit when we all know what the negative effects are!
Ben Stainton {ben_stainton@hotmail.com} I started smoking in 1970. Thats when it was all good to smoke. I smoked winston reds exclusively. RJ Reynolds killed a lot of folks in my generation. they don't give a shit. (thats another story). I was up to 3 packs a day in 2004 and then it happend. Heart attack, doc says cloged arterys due to diet and smoking WAY too much. I tried to have less smokes, not quit but cut down you see. that did not work well soon i was back up to three packs mabey 4 per day. Damm I love cigarettes, I am one of those folks who really LOVES cigarettes I LOOKED FORWARD TO MY NEXT SMOKE, thats why it was so hard for me to quit until august 2004 agian another heart attack. this one almost took me out. so I had to do it I quit it's now december and I have been smoke free since aug 2/04 but I still want a smoke, just want to live more than I want to smoke
I'm 46 years old and the smokes have killed me. now I can only sit home and watch tv because I have no breath to work.
it's a bitch.
William Parnell {k4wsp@excite.com} I've been smoking since I was about 14, I'm 21 now. I've wanted to quit for a long time, but I find it so hard to quit. I once took a pill (I think it was called Nicoderm CQ), and it held me off for a good 8 hours... then another time I was about 15, I didn't smoke for 4 days... but after that, I smoked a pack to a pack and a half a day. I felt like shit every time I smoked one, and I already had asthma, so you could imagine how hard it was for me to breath. I used to play baseball, basketball, and run, and I was a really fast runner... now if I just JOG, I get tired after like what, pshhh 1 minute.... and I'm only 21, that's so pathetic!
I've been trying to quit recently, because I have this really, REALLY disgusting cough, and it's obviously telling me that I'm an idiot, and to stop smoking right away. Actually, I'm about to go to the hospital right now to get some of the patches or whatever medication they give, I just found out they do it for free. If you live in New York, go to www.nyc.gov to see if there's a place close to you that hooks you up.
If I finally quit smoking, I will post it here! Peace.
HeLGeN-X {helgenx@hotmail.com} I used to joke that I'd been quitting ever since I started, and that was almost true. Over the 26 years that I smoked, I tried to quit at least once a year with varing degrees of success (well not too damn varying since I never really managed to do it). I'd quit for a day, a weekend, a month, six months once and almost a year once. I have tried every method know to man and a couple I made up my self. I tried all these things more than once at least: cold-turkey, weaning, changing to a brand I hated (which I learned to love!), hypnosis (easiest short-term method by far, doesn't last tho), nicotine gum, patches, herbal remedies, accupuncture, accupressure, Zyban, this gum that made cigs taste extremely bitter (I learned to like it), a little handheld computer that was supposed to wean me, a $400 dollar 6 week seminar, and others I don't recall I'm sure. It has been two years now since I quit for the last time. I still want one, a nice looong one, with a cup of good coffee, or maybe a nice strong imported beer, or 3 fingers of a fine single malt. You know, it's funny but the closest feeling I have to the way I miss smoking is the way I miss my dead father and sister. I long to see them and talk to them again. In a similar, but less intense, manner I long to smoke again. I mourn for my cigs sometimes just like a lost loved one. I wish I had never started. Are you listening kiddies? Nah.
The way I have been sucessful for the last two years (my longest stretch by far) is that I promised myself that I can smoke again on my 80th birthday. It helps ease my mournful feelings. I have to quit; I have kids to raise and then grandchildren to know. But come May, 2037 I'm gonna smoke till I choke! Something's gotta get me; I choose death by Marlboro if I make it until then. The really sad thing is that I probably have already chosen. Smoking will likely be the root cause of my death now even if I never pick up another cig.
bruce {gusbowman@bellsouth.net} hi I thoughti can quit smoking any time when i want but thats is not through this is a 2 day with out nicoting patch and i can handle that.What i am doingnow is removing small part of the coded nicotine from used nicotine path and putting in mought,not always but ones in a day I am realy feel sorry about the day when i start smoking.
pem {pem@yahoo.com} I quit smoking 7 1/2 months ago for good. I must say that it was not easy. How can a 20 year addiction be easy to quit? Luckily I was sick for 3 days, too sick to smoke. While at the doctor I was diagnosed with the beginning case of emphysema. This is to be expected with 20 years of smoking. I really had no choice but to quit if I wanted to breathe. I cannot repair all the damage I have done, but for now I am not making it worse. Unfortunately with my diagnosis of emphysema I will not allow myself to be around my friends when they are smoking. It has surprised me that they are offended because at one time I thought “we” were considerate smokers! But they think I’m one of those “ex” smoking jerks. And maybe I am…
Don’t get me wrong, I still think of smoking daily. Driving long distances is the most difficult. I still read non smoking web sites and check my quit smoking meter results. I guess I still need the reassurance. One day at a time but I have to do this.
Scott {scott@columbussleepconsultants.com} I have tried to quit several times. The first was after my grandfather was diagnosed with lung and throat cancer. I have tried quitting for my significant others. I have tried the gum and others. But I enjoy going out, lighting up, and then talking to people. Trying to hide it sucks, but when nothing helps, thats the only thing I can do. I am more honest now, and I don't let anyone tell me its bad for me cause I know.
Robyn {coolkat042284@hotmail.com} I was 22 years old, with my boyfriend of 42 who was a non-smoker. One day I just decided it was time to stop. I wanted to remake my life all together. I felt I was in a rut and going no where.
I also remembered the words of my father. I was caught with marijuana and sentenced to probation for a year including many different types of fines. When I broke the news to him, his response was "Oh no! And with you smoking cigarettes, it'll be harder for you to pay all of those costs!" He actually cared about my smoking cigarettes than me smoking marijuana!! He would also tell me that I knew the side effects of smoking and that I was smarter than what I was doing.
My parents are divorced. They're as different as chocolate and urine (not saying they have the similarities of the two examples). Mom smoked, Dad didn't. I stole a cigarette from my mom when I was 11, but didn't start smoking regularly until I was 14. I also started to have sex and do drugs around that time, so smoking also symbolized all of the bad things that started my life off in the wrong direction.
One strange thing about my quitting smoking, I found out about a month after I quit that I was five weeks pregnant. I wonder if it was my own body that decided I was done. I didn't use any crutches, as a side note. I just stopped.
But I know I couldn't have done it if I wasn't ready to.
Also it helps to write and rewrite a list every day of all the good that will come from quitting and also note how hard it is. Realize how hard it is and you'll be proud of yourself daily. Eventually, it'll seem like it's nothing, although you'll still crave it sometimes. Gotta be strong.
Good luck!!
Jese K {drink_slingin_dragon@yahoo.com} I think just about ever actual addicted smoker has tried to quit before. It's that guilt in you that comes back and haunts you. There is always that person who tells you "you shouldn't smoke" or "it's bad for you" or the most popular one, "smoking kills" (which by the way, a great response to that is "that's the intention" - well, at least it works for me). Once you start smoking, something new comes into your life and it's too hard to explain it. It's a friend who is always next to you. It's a love. It's something that always keeps you less bored. It's better than stuffing your mouth full of food at least.
I started smoking when I was 14 with my fake ID saying I am 16 (I lived in Holland for my teenage years - 16 is the legal age there for smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol). Of course, I became a drunk and smoked cigarettes just about everyday. I had those days where I would just want to quit. Other days when my parents suspected things.
As long as I have friends who smoke, a way to get cigarettes, and no actual good reason to quit, I will always smoke. I can't see certain things happen without smoking. I can't see myself going out to a bar without smoking. I can't see myself trying to relax on a beach without a cigarette in my hand. I guess some things will never change.
BTW - i love smoking :)
ren {xosexyrenxo@hotmail.com} Decided early on, that I could quit whenever I wanted to, I was going to quit when I turned 40, I am almost 41, so I finally decided I could quit anytime I wanted to.
Read this ongoning blog about my insane trip trying to escape the drug we love to hate. . . .
Its almost live its so scary
Richard Smith {webmaster@brewsmith.com} i can quit whenever i want, cuz im too lazy to go to the store and buy a pack of smokes, sometimes i sit at home and want a cigarette but then im like god i dont wanna go out and thats bascially it, its quite funny cuz most smokers will do anythin to get a smoke
jon foley i come back to this fray story, years after i originally posted on "how i started." i think i must've been 17 or 18 then. i'm 22 now.
my father died when i was 20. technically, of liver cancer. it started pancreatically, spread its way around his abdomen, and sucked away the best man i will ever know until he left us.
i received the call around 1am, and as soon as i managed to spit out that i would be making the 200 mile drive home the next morning, i stumbled out onto my porch and lit a cigarette. i opened a beer. i cried, nestled between my just-awoken boyfriend and my best friend of many years.
i wouldn't quit for a full year after, although every time i lit up i'd be reminded of my dad, and what an injustice i was doing his memory.
my boyfriend started to make comments here and there about how "we really should quit," and i always got defensive. i would take it as a personal attack on my smoking. and that i should have grown up by now.
so in mid-april of 2005 i made a decision. that on friday, may 6th (the day of my college graduation,) i would start the countdown. i would get one week for wild, reckless abandon, and then abruptly stop on a friday afternoon. it seemed foolish.
friday, may 13th, i clocked out of work, packed an overnight bag, and made the 200 mile trek again to my mother's house to celebrate my graduation with family. i didn't smoke around her. she thought i quit years ago, so i never smoked there. to tell you the truth, i never thought about it when i was there. my boyfriend came down with me, and we dared each other to make it the whole time without a cigarette.
he cheated once, that saturday afternoon.
we made the drive back up to orlando sunday night in quiet, fidgety nervousness. neither one of us lit up. it became more of a competitive edge for me. i wanted to quit and do this horrible thing easily while he struggled.
he dipped once or twice to kill the nicotine bug without lighting up. i tried it once and nearly threw up. he still dips once every week or two, and i give him hell about it..
..and i absolutely adore that i can consider myself stronger than him. even if it's only for this one thing.
(by the way, for anyone considering quitting, i promise, it gets much easier after a week or two. i can't stand the smell anymore. it will change you, too, i promise wholeheartedly.)
victoria i'm in the process-again-of quitting now. i've been searching the internet for hours desperately trying to find words of wisdom or advice or tips to motivate me further. i quit once for 2 months-in army basic training. i was 19. i'd been smoking since i was 10. on graduation day we were allowed to smoke. i thought i was holding the cigarette wrong so i moved it and held it between my middle and ring ringers, but that wasn't right either. why didn't i quit then? i'm 34 this week. now my 10 year old nags me to quit. my 5 year old says i'm going outside to "kill myself" when i go out for a smoke because my husband has taught him that truth in hopes that a child's message will be heard louder.
i read these stories and they make me cry. not because we're all so sad and pathetic, but because the mere thought of how i can possibly give up smoking frightens me. i try to explain to my husband, a non-smoker, that it's like re-inventing ME, changing what i've always BEEN, giving up an integral part of my life. but all he sees is the x-ray i had done last week of my hyper-inflated lungs and scar tissue in my lungs, my warning order of impending emphysema. i'm 33 for 4 more days.....
we are a different group of people, smokers. we've gone thru our smoking lives becoming more and more ostracized from society and banned from near every establishment with our death sticks (in NY, no smoking in bars, clubs, ANYWHERE anymore!) Hell, we can't even smoke outside in alot of places anymore. so we all assemble in our little outdoor smoke pits or smoke shacks-a bunch of losers pretending we're not all SICK and in need of help. we're shunned, we're looked down upon, we're bad examples for our kids, yet still we crush cigarettes one day and buy a new pack the next.
i hope i can be successful this time. i really want to quit. but i'm still in the stage where life doesn't seem like a whole lot of fun without smoking.
kathy
kathy To "Kim" who posted the following stupid "experience" (i only copied and pasted a paragraph of the stupidity), YOU HAD NO SMOKING EXPERIENCE, therefore you have NOTHING to share here, so shut the fuck up!!!!
"My experience with cigarettes taught me that I was a weak person. You see I thought that these people were my best friends--and the sad thing was, they really were my best friends. I discovered that night that my best friends were really treating me terribly and that I really had no friends. It was very sad, but it was also a turning point in my life. I am a changed person. These people are no longer a part of my life, and my personhood is much more defined. It caused me to realize that previous isolated incidences of disrespect added up to personal disrespect.
Kim "
give me a break Kimmie-take a class where you get the opportunity to be philisophical and use big words and practice your big thoughts...
kathy I started smoking when I was 11. I'm 37 today. Today is November 10, 2005. I quit smoking for good on April 21, 2005. I remember the last smoke I had. I recall thinking to myself, "This is the last cigarette you will ever smoke in your lifetime" and I meant it. I've tried to quit before, thought about it, vaguely attempted it, but this time I did it because of a promise I'd made. I have three children, 17, 8 and 1. Quite a spread eh? Well, I've never smoked in my home or in my car (duh!) because of the kids and one day my oldest asked me to promise that I was going to try and quit smoking. This was in winter of 2004 and I said, "By the spring of '05, I will not be smoking". Of course, things came along, like a death in the family and it was easy to make excuses. It was easy to have the baby in the playpen for "just a sec" while I ran out back and had a smoke.
I started thinking about my promise and my daughter kept reminding me that Spring was here. I had been smoking ultra lights for some time and I heard about this new smoke out called Quest. It's hard to find but you can order it online. It comes in three stages, 1, 2 and 3. Each stage reduces your nicotine. Stage 3 are certified nicotine free. Well I ordered a carton of each and got to it. They were a bit hard to get used to because they weren't my brand but I adjusted. Then came the stage 2. Hardly any nicotine in those! Then came stage three and I did mix them with the 2s for a while and then it got ridiculous. I would smoke the nicotine free all day and think to myself, "Why am I smoking? I'm not even getting anything out of this and it's taking time away from my children." Then, poof, one night I was sitting outside with my husband and I lit one of them and said, "I'm done".
I've never looked back, never snuck a smoke and can't stand the smell of it now. I can tell in the store if someone just had one, hasn't washed their jacket in a long time or if they are heavy smokers. Blech! Omigosh if I had known that I smelled that way. How embarrassing. Now I smell like shampoo and soap. My breath stays fresh. My teeth look nice and stay that way. I don't cough in the morning, at noon or at night. I'm not out of breath. Food tastes awesome. I can sing louder. I can take in really deep breaths and it doesn't hurt. My husband just quit about 6 weeks ago. It's been harder on him. He was a full flavored guy. He's been using the patch but recently stopped. I've been taking it easy on the grump (lol) because I know what he's going through to a certain extent. However, we are now the proud owners of an extra $240 a month. WOW. Now if that isn't incentive, what is? I'll NEVER go back. I won't let them have my life.
Michele {thewebmommy_2000@yahoo.com} One day at a time...i started a blog to help me through the rough times. I started at 11, just a few, just to be cool. When I was 13 my sister's boyfriend taught me how to inhale. I smoked 10 cigarettes a day until I was 17, when my folks split up and I went to a pack a day. I maintained that for sixteen years.
I got bronchitis for the first time this year, and while it didn't land me in the hospital, it did trigger asthma attacks. For the first time ever I was literally gasping for air, thought I was going to die. And I did not want to die sprawled on the bathroom floor, with the shower still running.
I only quit when I was sick because it was too painful to smoke. Each drag felt like my chest was on fire. After the antibiotics kicked in, and I was off the inhaler, I realized I'd been smoke-free for ten days. Well, fuck it, I thought - let's see how far we can go.
Yesterday I was at a party and a relative asked if I had a cigarette. I said no, that I hadn't had a cigarette in over three months. He said, I should take you outside and beat you. I smiled, but inside I was thinking, You wouldn't have the strength.
I calculated that every day without cigarettes is $4.50 in the bank. I've saved almost $500. Right now it's theoretical because I haven't been able to actually save the money - but when I'm working again, and have more than a student income, I'm gonna take $500 and buy myself something nice. I don't know what yet. A new paint job for my car, or the freedom from creditors that would come if I paid off one credit card in full. Maybe a trip to San Francisco. I dunno.
The coughing is not as bad as I thought. At least not compared to bronchitis. I'm glad I caught it. I wouldn't have quit otherwise until lung cancer or emphysema.
I still miss it sometimes, but not too often. I avoid friends who smoke. I don't drink alcohol or coffee anymore. And I count the days. Today is 111. Tomorrow is 112.
Rose Eliza |
smoking how I started what it was like how I quit
