May, a month in Manhattan that is often one of its best. For 2001, it was going well for me: Nine months into a great new relationship, my job going well with a raise and bonus, and life finally settling into a nice routine it hadn't had for a long time. Then my world changed again. My company began serious "right-sizing" and I lost my really neat job. Although I got a good severance package, such as it was, I was back to Square One on the job front. Now, months later, I still have no job (like thousands of others), the good old Unemployment has run out, I'm another year older, and so it goes. And the now not-so-new friend is wondering why we're not going back to Paris this spring. Sigh.

Peter Winterble {wryter472@excite.com}  5 Jan 2002

In May I pounded an awful lot of pavement.

We thought about postponing the wedding, since I was unemployed and didn't have any good prospects. We decided against it and hoped that I would find something soon.

Something aroused suspicion. Something was wrong. What would the doctor say?

One {one@absquatulate.com}  8 Jan 2002

I think this year is going to be a great one. I know this because I know where I want to be and I know how to get there.

2001 was also great and for me, life changing. In May I set out to travel around South East Asia and Australia with my boyfriend. We got to Bangkok and lasted 2 weeks before I made the decision to leave him. It had been a long time coming, I have to admit, but was not easy all the same. He knew, as I did, that it was time for me to move on. I left having not felt as free or as happy in a long time. There followed, the greatest, most independent, liberating journey I have ever had. Not just around physical countries but also in and out of my own head.

At once I felt passionate about life and all it had to offer and I really started to learn about myself and what I wanted. I did so many things on my own and was not scared. ever! I felt such a sense of freedom that I could not have cared less about being on my own. How can that be? People ask me, 'Were you scared walking around Singapore on your own?', 'Didn't you ever feel lonely?' I just answer 'No, never.' And that is the truth. It still it amazes me. I never cried once. And I'm not sure that I ever missed him either! It was not that he was overpowering or controlling or a horrible person. I just felt better, lighter, without him. Over the next few months I made a few decisions.. 1) Always follow your heart. You can convince others, but never yourself. 2) Always be yourself, don't change for anyone. You are what you are and that is that. Be that person and people (well some of them at least) will like you for it. 3) If you like someone, phone them, tell them, mail them, or at least do something to let them know. You will surprised at how many people respond to this and like you too! Go out of your way to be nice to someone. I am a firm believer in the old adage ‘what goes around, comes around.’

This last one took me a long time to realise. For no reason that I can explain, (except for an unfortunate incident with an old friend which I think may be partly to blame, but I will not go into) I have no understanding of why I have been scared for so long to admit to actually caring about someone. I don’t mean someone who you are supposed to care about. I have no problem with telling my Mum or my boyfriend or my best friend that I love them. I mean random friends that you meet along the way. People who you feel could be really good mates but are not quite there yet. I am an outgoing and sociable person, but sometimes become very shy and timid. Especially when it comes to showing my true feelings about something. It must come from a deep insecurity about abandonment that I have developed along the way (who knows) Anyway, travelling taught me to have the strength to face up to it and just do it. Go with what you want to do and don't worry about the consequences. Take a risk. This is what life is all about.

Along the way I was in a book shop and saw the motto: 'Do something every day that scares you'. It was by an anonymous source and some of you have probably heard it before. I applied this to my life from that day forward and still do now. For me, telling someone that I cared for them was once a very scary thing. Now it is not so. I think I will soon have to find something else to satisfy this need. (skydiving is on the list) Every day I wake up now and fell happier than I did and I’m sure it is because I am now taking risks in my personal life that I once worked so hard to prevent. I am living and loving it.

Vicki {veedubleyu@hotmail.com}  9 Jan 2002

this is supposed to be the time of the year abut growing. when it starts getting green, i start getting optimistic. so it didn't seem fitting to me that it was actually time for goodbye. three years had passed. she from the west, i planted here east, forever it seems.

after all the graduation ceremonies and family parties, it was just us. sunday morning packing all her things and carting them down to the post office. it was just starting to get hot and the nyc summer funk began to permeate. the early morning smells of what is going to be another hot, humid day. a banana for breakfast. thoughts that we don't acknowledge. had time really past this quickly?

these things were aparent to both of us when we met; that there will be a day when this is going to happen, that however close we may become or however committed we may be, she will go and i will stay. it was written on our foreheads the day we met.

nothing was needed to be said. looking in each other's eyes, spooning and crying.

oliver crunk {setonum@aol.com}  7 Mar 2002

I was sitting in school not realizing that that day was my birhtday. I had been left on my own for some time and i hadn't recieved a single card. I was soon turning the key in the lock of my apartment when the next thing that I knew, I was being covered in confetti and bing pulled inside. I suddenly realized that I was surrounded by my dearest friends and family. I was over whelmed and exteremely excited and as I started to cry, my friend Larry asked me why I was crying and all I could squeak out was, " I am soo happy and I love you soo much for doing this for me!!" The whole thing was wonderful. I was so happy that it made my entire year just fly by and it almost seemed as though i was floating on air the rest of the year.

Sami {Sweet_Sarah_Michenertvhs@hotmail.com}  17 May 2002

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