August

I had been with her for 8 months and had been believing that things were going great. Then, one day, I realized that it really wasn't. I didn't have the courage to break up with her before, when issues arose; I finally ended the relationship.

It was like a death. It occurred to me that if she had died while we had been dating, I would have loved her forever. After the relationship ended, I could never love her again.

It could have been easier if I have played the part of the asshole and let her dump me. But then I'd be lying to her too, she didn't need my charity; at least, that's what I told myself. "At least I could let her retain her dignity."

After a few months of thinking about love and what I really wanted from a relationship. I told myself I would put it all on hold for a while. The very next day, I fell for someone; I fell like a feather that refuses to fall straight down.

She is fond of saying, "Never was there a day as fine as this." She made my heart smile.

On that fine day, I celebrated my own New Year's.

Jason {jshim@hotpop.com}  1 Jan 2002

April

The world was over, my life would never be the same. If not this, then what was left? I cried for nine hours that day.

But I also voted for the first time that afternoon, deciding that that little piece of paper wasn't going to take everything away from me. And the man I wanted to be village president won.

And then I went to school the next day, because the world didn't just go ahead and end when I wanted it to.

Now I'm commuting to school, and in some ways life is better than it ever could have been if I had been accepted. But I'm reapplying anyway.

Jessica {jessicagwynn@hotmail.com}  1 Jan 2002

January

I had felt bad for sometime and had no answers for why. Until that fateful day in the second week of January 2001 I ate a Dunkin Donuts apple fritter, with double sugar and cream coffee to wash it down with.

Within 20 minutes I just knew I was going to die. The feeling was hard to explain. A fuzzy brained, incoherent daze. A feeling I was slipping somewhere but afraid to let go. No pain really just a feeling. Needless to say, the next day after I had recovered , I went to my Doctor and after drinking what tasted like Orange Nehi flavored syrup water, I was sent home to once again feel like I was going to die.

At 7pm that night my doctor called and sent me immediately to the pharmacy for medication. Diabetic medication.

From that moment on my life revolved around what went into my mouth. So January was a good month..I think.

Here it is January again and Im 45 lbs lighter. I think its going to be a good month again.

Tudy {iflans@adelphia.net}  1 Jan 2002

December

So it was that I returned to my family for the Christmas period - in a place that used to hold nothing but bad memories and a desperate need to escape - and I found astonishing perspective and space and relief in one image.

In the middle of the night - I drove my brother back from a movie and we parked the car outside my parent's house and looked up at the sky. In the city you can see nothing, but in the country every star is bright. The moon looked like a hole in a curtain - impossibly bright. There was a small veil of mist in the sky - like a gaussian filter - and it had the most amazing effect on the light...

For taking up half the sky surround the moon was a hula-hoop of light - a vast circle of diffused light, refracted. Like a vast eye in the sky. It was beautiful - and it gave me some perspective.

Tom Coates {tom@plasticbag.org}  1 Jan 2002

January

I turned 18.
I graduated from high school.
And I moved 40 minutes away from my home of 9 years to begin my freshman year of college.

I was thrilled to be out of my house, on my own, making my own rules, being responsible for myself.

4 days later, classes started.

And I wanted to quit school from that first day until the very last day of the semester.

I have little resilience. I admit that.

But I'm not sure what else to do, so I use school to stall until I figure out what brilliant things am I going to accomplish that will also provide for my well-being.

At least it keeps me in a city that I love, away from "home".

And when classes start to break me and bring me down, I can take a walk downtown, and remember why I applied here in the first place.

Atmosphere.

Jenna  1 Jan 2002

December

I've been spending the whole of the month with nine people, six of whom I've never met in my life (people of an entirely different culture, people who don't even speak the same language I do) - and I had a blast.

I hate to have to say this, but I think it was probably the best fun I had in the last four years - and I've changed since, I really have.

I've learned to reach out more to people. I've learned to do things myself, but I've also learned to trust others to help me when I'm in trouble. I've opened up more to other people. I talk more now, express my feelings better than I ever have. I even sing more, in front of other people, I mean (when before, I was rather shy)... but being around these people who love to sing at all times, I've learned to do it, too.

I have a feeling that 2002's going to be a greater year - a year to find myself even more, and to grow into myself even better.

Emily {deck107@yahoo.com}  1 Jan 2002

June

I lost a best friend. I lost my grandmother, also a friend. I lost a future I had dreamed for myself. I lost the illusion of my immortality.

I look to 2002 as being a year of growth, at least, that is what I wish for.

cassie  1 Jan 2002

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