I got there in minutes. It's amazing how well you can navigate a strange town when you're facing a father's wrath. I parked the car, jumped out, and ran into the building.

Right through a metal detector.

Which I set off.

Fuck.

Stunned, I spun around to see a cop with a metal detector wand.

"Please empty your pockets," she said.

I reached into my pocket and felt something unmistakable. Something unthinkable. Something in a little baggie.

I tried not to let my face register the extreme panic in my soul. I reached in, very delicately, and removed my wallet, leaving the baggie in my pocket.

I set my wallet on the table and stepped through the metal detector again. Beep! I set it off again.

"Come on through," she said.

My heart was working overtime. I thought she was gonna search me. But she just ran her magic metal detector wand over me, past my burning pocket, down to my Birkenstocks where they went off again.

"Heh," I stammered. "Metal buckles." I was overjoyed.

She scowled at me and then turned away. "Next!"

I grabbed my wallet, shoved it deep into my pocket, and headed for the ticket counter.