The thing that scares me most about death, I think, is that it will come too soon. I'm not afraid of dying so much as I'm afraid of dying before I can get everything done that I want to do.

My list isn't special; it's all the typical stuff: Time with my wife, children, some sort of mark on the world. My Mom thinks that men have a built-in need to "do something" with their lives, something great and profound, or they feel like they haven't really lived.

{} {} I don't know if it's universal, but I feel that. It's fuzzy and ill-defined and I have no idea what the "something" is, but I don't want to die before I get a chance to try it.

But after that, there'll be a time when I'll be ready to go. I'm comfortable with the thought. In fact, the idea of pushing beyond that point, either artifically or through sheer pig-headedness, is much worse than the idea of simply dying.

My grandfather was ready. He had been slipping for over a year, and my Mom said that one day he just decided to let go. I respect that, and I hope I can summon as much courage. To choose when to die ­ to be comfortable with it, to know that the decision is right ­ is the last thing you can do in a well-lived life.


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