valentine's day bitterness

What makes you bitter about Valentine's Day?



i used to be very bitter about valentine's day. i didn't get candy, i didn't get flowers. i didn't even have anyone to talk to me on the phone for hours. now i'm in a place where hypercoupling is the norm, and every day is a day where people are plaunting their partnerships. i feel kind of cliched bitching about valentine's day like this, but it is always a day which reinforces my sense of aloneness, my sense of being one in the world. sometimes i appreciate that feeling, but usually by the time v-day rolls around i am just in the mood to hibernate.

maura {starla@echonyc.com}




There was a stretch over several years where I wasn't seeing anyone steady when Valentine's Day arrived. I HATED V-Day! All my friends would have plans with their SO's. I emotionally closed my eyes and patiently waited for Feb 15.

Now that I'm in a steady relationship I kind of feel guilty about not doing something special, but hey, the pressure's off, because I COULD do something special if I wanted to.

drue, be thankful you didn't have to deal with the flower situation in high school. After being told strongly by my not so mature girlfriend I would be getting her one of the high school flowers for V-day, imagine her displeasure on getting a flower that was the WRONG COLOR! (How was I suppose to know, is there a manual or something?)

bret {bret@lm.com}




When I lived in NYC, I never had what you would call a "steady" relationship.

There were women I dated from time to time....sometimes I'd call them...sometimes they'd call me.

The whole idea of coupling wasn't prominent in my mind. Just art. My whole life was my art.

Then on Feb. 14....my lack of a date translated into my insignificance as a 'man'. That bothered me at first. Being partnerless on Valentines Day. Then I began to mull the idea over a bit.

My birthday is just 3 short days before V-Day.....why wasn't I upset about not having a date then? Or what about Arbor Day? Why isn't anyone upset about being date-less on that last Friday in April?

(You have no idea how many sites I searched to find out WHEN Arbor Day was......)

It's a stupid stupid idea Valentines Day. If you can't take the time to show love and romance to your partner the rest of the year, who gives a shit about a cold day in February?

Charles (The Graveshow) {gravesho@voicenet.com}




Just because one might have a SO, doesn't mean V-Day won't be bitter. If you're in a relationship where romance gets recognized on that one day of the year, it seems pretty pointless, no?

Deb




When I was married....a loooong time ago....my husband brought home a HUGE mylar baloon shaped like a heart one valentine's day. Only he was really pissed off when he came in and was yelling at me...ME!...because when he put it in his car it got a hole in it, and it was deflating fast. I am bitter about that day. I am bitter that all the pressure of the day made him do this great thing for me, and just because it didn't turn out perfect, he took it out on me.

I tried to console him. I ooo'ed and ahhh'ed over my big special balloon. Since it wasn't able to float on the ceiling for me, I thumbtacked it to the wall over our bed. A special place for a special gift. And still my hubbie grumbled.

I am bitter that my love and understanding and appreciation despite the minor imperfection was not accepted. Even to this day, 6 years later.

Susan Paulsen {netgrl@cinti.net}




Valentine's Day is a day when some guy named Valentine got killed for his beliefs. Tell me again why this should make me feel romantic?

In my entire adult life I've never gotten any kind of Valentine's goodies from someone I was interested in. Call it bad timing, bad luck, not making an effort, whatever. It's happened so frequently, it doesn't really bother me anymore.

But still.... my friend Julie has this cute little Beanie Baby on her desk. He's a white bear with a red heart and his name is Valentino and he's just soooo cute he makes me want to rip his fuzzy-wuzzy little head right off.

Valentine's Day to me is Jenna's Totally Selfish Day. Everything I do that day is for the express purpose of making myself happy. I buy myself flowers, I buy myself chocolate. I wear whatever red outfit makes me look best. I smile, I flirt, I shop. If I send Valentine's cards, it's because it makes me happy to send them.

This year I'm surrounded my couples. I'm taking off work early and I'm going skiing. I'm not even going to share my chocolates with my friends- let their romantic partners give them the sweet stuff.

I might give them the raspberry as I walk out the door, though. Does that count?

Jenna {jennifer.petroskey@sdrc.com}




One of the cruellest things is the feeling of rejection one can feel for yourself and others around you when you don't get a card.

This is made even worse when others around you are flaunting their veritable haul of cards. Most of these from one-night stands and so forth, never TRUE love.

Ah, finally a card! You tear it open to see your mother's writing. My God, how could she do this! At boarding school this is a cruel, if unwitting, prank to play on a young, hormonal boy.

Nowadays I hate the game. Well if I send it and she knows it from me, will think its too much too soon? And what if she doesn't send one? Valentines Day is a pointless and unnecessary ripple in ones love life,which, unfortunately can't be ignored.

Jason Kitcat {jeep@j-dom.demon.co.uk}




It's hard for me to tell if I am bitter or if I am jealous. The two so often look alike, and yet it's hard to imagine it could be both.

I haven't been in a relationship long enough to make it to a valentines day. I don't know if this is becuase I haven't found the right person or if I'm not cut out for the Darwinian dating scene. Every year at about this time I have to be reminded of this. Every year I get just a little bit more bitter. This year I'm saying "Popular Culture is hazardous to your health."

Yet at the same time, I can't help but wonder if that bitterness is also jealousy. It's only human nature to be jealous. Jealous because I'm not one of those "happy couples" or jealous because I didn't have anyone to send a rose to or recieve one from. Jealous because I'm not a part of it.

Sometimes I have to wonder if we evict ourselves from popular culture or get evicted from it.

I suppose the bitterness/jealousy/frustration I feel on this day is just a manifestation of what's being collected the rest of the year. I can only hope the fairy-tale of the ugly duckling is true; that those of us who are shunned only turn out to be more beautiful than we imagined.

Matt Lyon {rainking@surfari.net}




When I'm single, I'm bitter that the whole damn coupled world looks at me like I'm a romantic leper...

When I'm not single, I'm bitter that if I don't help to make Hallmark and See's and FTD richer, I'm considered a bad boyfriend...

Corporate holidays suck. What the hell good is your love if you only show it once a year and make some huge companies get wealthier in the process?

Adam {rakunas@geocities.com}




Boy I wish that I was torn into little pieces because of my beliefs. Then I could look down from wherever and watch people remembering my death by alienating those who still haven't found themselves a mate and {coincidentally} enriching companies that do nothing but brainwash you into thinking that if you're not in a relationship, you must have been dropped on your head at birth. That woud really make my day.

Who comes up with these things anyway?

Bitter? Noooooo. Never.




v-day is a great day no matter what. when your with someone, then you can let it all hang loose for one day, make it special, get it on all night long, whatever. Have a ball. and when your lonely, with no one to hold on to (like me this year, but don't think about feeling sorry for this guy) you settle back with a nice bottle of whiskey, a couple packs of ciggarettes, and marinate in your sorrows. either way, its only one day of the year where everything about love is hyped up. come moday, its back to work. So, whatever your game, do it right on valentines day. go for the gold..............

Bill {bsourada@msn.com}




It's not that I'm lonely (well, yes it is), but it's just that St. Valentine's Day just sticks out and reminds me, "hey, you. Yeah, you, the guy who's sitting there alone. All these other people are Getting Laid. What's wrong with you?"

Well, there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just not seeing anyone. No, I'm not happy about, and no, you don't have to remind me every February 14th that I'm still alone. I will deal with it myself, all right? Quit nagging me.

Niel {nbornstein@plr.com}




I guess I'm bitter about Valentine's day for the first time this year. I have always been single on the big V-day, and I was always just jealous: wallowing in my own loneliness. This year I'm just damn BITTER. When I heard about this story on the fray via email I thought "Gee, sounds familiar!!" It's a new feeling, but I really am bitter about how anyone who isn't the other half of a couple is made to feel socially inadequate on February 14th every year. I'm ignoring the pressures of society this year (or trying to) by being BITTER.

AND I LIKE IT!

kris {kerupp@bsuvc.bsu.edu}




Bitterness & Valentine's Day...sadly frequent bedfellows. Yes, I'm Bitter. But thankfully, this time it IS circumstantial.

What made this Valentine's Day a day of strategic bitterness avoidance for me? It was seeing a question posed by my ex on her homepage. WHY does she care if everyone else has their roses, candy & stoooopid little gifts ready for THEIR sweeties??

Talk about Cupid's arrow... Love is a strange thing.

heartbroken in 97




Bitter? Heh.

All but one of the Valentine's Days (a.k.a. "VD") I've ever lived through have been empty ones. The only exception was VD 1992, when I did have a girlfriend, and did spend the day with her, but though extremely awkward and hope-crushing circumstances.

To find out more, check out my web page at:

http://www.westworld.com/~elson

e

Elson Trinidad {elson@westworld.com}




valentine's day was always a big day-o-love in my family when i was a kid. we made sugar cookies and put pink frosting and red sugar on them. everyone made cards for everyone. my dad made pancakes in the shape of hearts and colored other food red and pink. my grandma deluged all of us with chocolate and candy hearts and hugs and kisses. my grandpa always gave us almond roca. it was one long sugar high and lots of warm cozy fuzzy feelings.

and now i miss them. my grandma still sends me boxes of sugary goodies but my siblings have forgotten what we used to do and my parents don't acknowledge my existence and the feelings and tradition are long gone. now it just seems contrived.

harriet




i used to date this guy who refused to celebrate valentine's day for all the same sane reasons stated above. *it feeds the corporate greed of this country,* he said. or something like that. *yeah!* i agreed. *down with corporate greed!*

so why did i always feel so shitty when year after year, he didnt even bother to say *happy valentines day?* why did i always hold out the hope that one year he'd surprise me...bring me a flower, a card, a piece of jewelry? all my irrational feminine girly desires kicked in on that one day. usually im so rational when it comes to love. well..ok..thats a lie. but i really wanted that physical tangible validation of his love for me..preferably in silver..something that fit on my finger..

needless to say, he never gave in to corporate greed. not even for me.

rebecca {rebecca@revelatus.com}




people will want to kill me, but I've finally discovered the key to getting through Feb14 without getting bitter that you got no cards, flowers, candy or gifts.

(first: attend a college where there are lots of bland, annoyingly earnest a cappella singing groups for four years. on valentine's day their sounds will fill the student center as they serenade various people's sweethearts for mercenary cash, and you will thank the gods that no one thinks that "well" of you. second: )

know that someone has a crush on you and won't admit it, and that you're going to see them that night.

simple eh.

misuba {misugarbaker@vassar.edu}




I suppose I should have seen it coming when I was five and found out I was allergic to red food dye--the hard way. I woke up in the middle of the night after one of those elementary school Valentine's parties where everyone brings in candies and cookies and EVERYONE gives EVERYONE ELSE a Valentine. I was covered in red hives, some of which were the size of my kindergarten back.

I should have taken it as forshadowing.

This year, I'm dating someone. So I subtly, simply said that I wanted to go out on Friday. So he says all this stuff about, oh, maybe we can go see this band with some other friends of his. Eventually I just told him. I've had boyfriends on Valentine's Day, but there was always some reason I couldn't be with them on that day. I'd never had a date on Valentine's Day, and that's why I wanted to go out on Friday.

"Oh, well, I wasn't going to bring up that connection, because I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day."

Bitter? You want to talk bitter?

We went out to a bar around ten and talked about philosophy. I refrained from getting plowed. But at least I got laid, The End.

J Tarin Towers {spit@tarin.com}




What makes me bitter?

The whole concept of coupledom. It quite simply sucks.

As far as I'm concerned, everyone has their neurosis. The trick is to find someone who's neurosis best matches or complements your own...

Happy Valentine's Day.

Remi {erd3515@umoncton.ca}




When I'm single I don't believe in love and turn cynical and do V-Day things like go to a stripper's club to prove I don't care and won't get insecure because I am a fellow female. When I feel loved I'm the biggest heart desiring mush. Bitter and sweet are two extremes I wear equally well.

Spoja {KNichols@alz.com}




This year, my husband brought me flowers and a card. I immediately got mad because he didn't bring me chocolates (apologizing for this behavior will continue for the rest of my life).

This year, Valentine's Day made me feel bitter because it exposed how selfish and childish I can be. On the bright side, now I know the ugly truth and can try to control myself.

Carole




I could have written that story myself.

I'm one of those people that the family and friends all say is so 'pretty', and yet, I'm always the one that's alone.

Most of the time I don't mind...I have plenty of other things to think about and I don't care if I'm an SO.

Then the dreaded corporate juggernaut rolls around...and I hate it. I don't need to be reminded of my one-ness.

My high school passes out carnations on V-Day. They hand them out in the morning so that the recipients can gush and flaunt all day, while the rest of us grit our teeth and bite our tongues.

I always refuse to admit to myself that I actually want one...but I'm always let down when I walk into first period and see that empty desk.

I got one once though...from a friend, of course.

That was even worse. I had to carry that damn thing around all day...it's a frigging pink kick-me sign. It begs everyone you know to ask "oh, who's it from?". The people with several of them always stand around giggling vacuously to each other...I'm always the one standing around, praying no one will ask me where I got mine...I'm a shitty liar.

I love that contemptuous look you get afterwards...you wasted their precious time.

But more than that, I hate that I agree with them. It's a great feeling being on that bottom rung....isn't it?

Cathie {Cath119@aol.com}




I used to *beg* my mother to let me stay home from school every February 14. 'Nuff said.

S.M.




I hate myself more on Valentine's Day than on any other day of the year.

Persephone




When I was in high school, there was this whole pathetic game concocted by the student council where all of the girls had to wear these huge, gaudy hearts on their lapels. WE weren't allowed to talk to boys for the entire day except in class, and if we did we had to give the lucky guy out hearts. The guy who had "stolen" the most hearts got a prize or something. Of course, if you had a boyfriend you just handed it over. If a guy liked you, they chased you for it trying to get you to talk or laugh or finally yell at them.

it was so contrived, so weak, so sexist that the guys were the conquerors and the girls were the quiet bestowers of hearts that could be charmed away enmasse. . .such a painful reminder to have your own heart

pinned to your lapel, waiting for someone to come along and take it, but knowing that you had no one to give it to and no interested takers. For me, Valentine's was just another reminder that you weren't loved by anyone special, that you were alone with your paper heart in the corner, waiting like a good little girl. So, I usually didn't wear it; I shoved it into my bookbag and acted like it was just another day . . . but wanting so much more

Marie {mariek18@hotmail.com}




sometimes on vd i feel like a tiny little whisper of a voice amid all the other yelling and sreaming going on. whether someone's telling me how much to spend on the girl i'm seeing, or they're telling me that valentine's day sucks, i find it a very difficult holliday to enjoy.

i don't really care to worry about it anymore. vd is just another excuse to go out and put off more work that needs to get done. imagine that; vd as an excuse to stay out, rather than to stay away.

anyway, that's about the only thing interesting about vd these days. yeah, i appriciated all those cards that everyone had to give to everyone else, but no one really does that anymore. i remember how thrilled i used to get when there just happened to be a card from whoever i had a crush on at the time, nevermind the fact that there were thirthy other people with the exact same card. it's that conditioning from childhood that leads people to feel the way they do now about our beloved valentine's day. it's gotten so built up that people are willing to go to any lenghts to please whoever they're with, and they're incredibly bitter if they don't have anyone.

this year though, i dont think i'm doing either. it's just your everyday average saturday. it is on a saturday, isn't it?

jeremy {jjoslin.1@nd.edu}




Well I always was bitter about Valentine's Day!! I still am in some ways. I have never gotten anything. Not even a piece of gum. I have a steady boyfriend once during Valentine's Day and he didn't even call me and you can bet that the relationship endly soon after that (as in the next day).

But I guess I am going to go on this year trying to act as if Valentine's Day is just another day, but I'll probably end up getting pissed off. Oh well. That is just the way life goes.

pooh {winniethepooh79@hotmail.com}




The most romantic Valentine's Day I've had - actually, the only romantic VDay I've had since I was about 16 - I was in college and the guy I was dating was a music major. He invited me to the music fraternity formal. Brought me a red rose. Was wonderful. And I thought it was so sweet that he asked me if he could dance one dance with a friend of his who was having a rough time just then.

A few weeks later, confused and unhappy because this wonderful guy, who swore I was the only one for him, was so busy that we'd hardly been able to see each other since then, I went with some friends to a party being given by someone they'd met that afternoon in the student union.

Turned out it was a birthday party for my guy's friend. The one he'd danced with. The one who'd been having such a hard time.

The one he was engaged to. Had been engaged to. For months.

So.

So now this VDay, the guy I've been seeing is swearing that it's not that he doesn't want to see me, it's just that he doesn't have any time.

And it's true. He doesn't have any time. It doesn't really make Valentine's Day any better for little me.

Rachel {editor@3-am.com}




my girlfriend is in kentucky and

i'm in california!!!!!

i'm bitter.....

tiffany




It just makes me want to punch people.

Jemima {jkemp@Laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au}




I love you Jemima.

Craig {jkemp@Laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au}




I was starting to fall for this really nice guy, or so it seemed at the time. Well, I had been having feelings all this week that he was up to something. It turns out that the guy I was falling for doesn't have a girlfriend. But I'm the sixth one. I couldn't believe my luck. He has really hurt me bad and I have lost all faith in guys and the hope of falling in love.

LOVE SUCKS!!!!

pierced




Valentines Day (VD) was a very special day for me and my girlfriend for one year of our relationship. It was our 6 month anniversary, and consequently our 18 mo.

Wasnt it nice of my parents to move when i was a junior in high school, and tear us apart.

We made it a year more, and broke up the day before our 2 yr. anniversary.

So yes, im bitter, i am enjoying being alone on VD. I dont want to think of romance and love now that shes with the guy I thought was my best friend.....

Justin {JarmrJgr68@aol.com}




I never hated Valentine's Day as much as I do this year.

Maybe it's because this year's the first time I ever made something and gave it to someone special. And I couldn't give it to her on that special day because she spent the entire weekend with her boyfriend.

I didn't have any plans. Was too afraid to go out, in fact. Didn't want to go to the mall and be bombarded by all the propaganda and hype about Valentine's Day. Also didn't want to run into couples walking hand in hand with lovey dovey eyes and flowers and presents. I just didn't need that to remind me that my special girl was probably smooching in some park or beach with someone else. It was bad enough listening to the radio DJs harping about what the day was, how special it is and all that crap. Every radio channel was the SAME! Arrghhh!

I took off to somewhere nearby, where V-Day is no hype, left the country for the entire morning and afternoon. It was effective, except for the stupid radio DJ who kept ranting on about the significance of Feb 14.

Why does V-Day have to exist?????

Is it THAT important to set aside 1 day in the calender to celebrate love??

Whui Mei {sunflowers@hotmail.com}




February 14th,1995....

So I go to the mall to pick out some flowers for my then girlfriend( I know, buying into the corporate bullshit like a good little consumer) . While I'm there it starts to snow,hard. Within a matter of hours the whole city is shut down including transit. This presents a huge problem for me because, starving student that I was, I did not not have a car and my girlfriend was in residence at the university which was approx. 5 miles away on top a small mountain/huge hill. Unswayed by the circumstances I decided to walk through the storm to see her and present my token. So I bundled up and set off on my trek with my bouquet in one hand and my heart in the other. I trudged through a foot and a half of snow for two and a half hours to get to the top of this stupid hill. When I got to her place her suprised reaction that I had came despite the storm was everything I hoped and as she went upstairs to defrost the flowers I was a very happy man. They were the last happy moments I was to experience for a very very long time *because* just then the doorbell rang. I answered it only to sign for 2 dozen long-stemmed beauties that cost a lot more than I could've afforded. They made my paltry little offering look pathetic. And suprise!!! They were from her "other" boyfriend back in Toronto just to say how much he missed her and how much he was looking forward to coming out to see her in a month which would coincidently collide with the week of my birthday. A birhtday I was to spend alone. Thus ended my first true love and any affinity I ever had for that day. And that's what makes me bitter about Valentine's Day.

another crushed romantic {jsheath@direct.ca}




i just hate valentine's day cause if youre not with someone, everyone you know who *is* is either really condescending or all over each other. i dont *need* anyone. why cant valentine's day just be another day? why do i need to get candy or flowers or a card or go out with someone to make myself feel loved?

thank GOD my roommates were apart this valentine's day. i dont think i could have handled it- watching them get ready for dinner, the candy, the flowers, the presents all that CRAP, especially since i hate the male component of this couple. (it's mutual.) i wouldve had to watch him gloat because i'm alone (which i'm not bothered by, since it was my plan to be alone to focus on me me me!!!) and watch her be less than completely enthusiastic in deference to my alone-ness. so, in fact, i couldve been more bitter, but was saved by happenstance. he was in oregon.

what makes me bitter this year, though, is that i was totally enamored of this gorgeous boy and he's overseas til...may. and he's sending me something snail mail, but what the hell good is that going to do me today? (well, i've been walking around with that post-coital-like glow and goofy grin on my face, but other than that, what do i have to be happy about?)

jenjohnson {jen@wcl.american.edu}




What I hate the most about V-Day isn't the crass commercialism (no worse than Christmas), the cliche expressions of love (roses that die within three days of receipt) , or even the cheesy Hallmark cards. No, what I hate most about V-Day is the _day after_ (or, in the case of this year, the _Monday after_). Whatever I do for my sweetheart, it will be judged by her coworkers, friends, family (especially Mother) and even passerby on the street!

Ladies, take heed: Man's worst nightmare isn't premature ejaculation, it's not measuring up on V-Day.

Tom W. {tommyspoon@hotmail.com}




okay fine,

but it's true.

unfortunately the term "corporate bitterness" hasn't been coined yet.

mau {etavano@ccs.neu.edu}




IT was one of those usual V-day's I had just broken up with a deep BF of mine adn I was heart broken and lookin for some condolence in the one time of the year when everything turns to shit for no reason at all. Same thing year after year no Boyfriend, no plans, no friends (they are all with their Boyfriends that are SOO Caring) I am lookin forweard to the night at home with my favorite junk food and gorging myself to the point of oblivion and then cryin myself to sleep.

And then that one Day turned different for once I went to the school dance and made it through with only crying once over the lost love and the HOttest Senior came over and wanted to talk to me If only it hadn't been the Dreaded day and I hadn't felt soo vounerable and unwanted I might have seen what came next. I mean I was Lowly freshman who just got jitted and was having family problem how could I resist a chance at something so fairy tale it seemed like Cinderella should have come back from her coffe break and taken my place anytime now. He started comin on to me and I just went for it. I forgot all my self respect and took up a desperate confidence that to think about to this day sickens me. He gave me his number and after the dance I called him with hope and desperation dripping off my soul in steady streams. I wanted to be liked by this guy but I never knew he was incabable of anything like that. He wanted Me not for who I was but what I represented a vounerable girl with low self esteem and lonely on the "LOVE" day of the year. and I never saw it coming I was a little church girl that thought and believed everyone. well I talked to him into the wee hours in the morning about the one topic "sex" and made plans to see each other the next day.

I never did make it there but I still strugle with NOT goin the other day I actually almost went through it. Having a sexual expericence with no Ties involved with a cold and uncaring person seemed invitin somehow. TOday I knocked on his door and met his dad.........his room was neat in a boys ideal.............I never walked out of that house the same

Sarah {rock@olynet.com}




My ex girlfriend turned up on V-Day... I hadn't seen her since christmas... She wanted her duvet cover back... say no more... :)

michael {speckle@hy-pa.com}




V-day reminds me that I'm alone. I don't have anyone to give candy or flowers to.

Super Lame




I'm 25 years old and I have never had a V-days card before.This year I had one from an 18 years old boy.That is realy BITTER!!!!!!!!

eli {medex2@arunet.co.uk}




Valentine's Day.......

The guy I was seeing came to my house at 9PM with some supermarket bullshit card and candy. I wanted to go out. He wanted to stay home and fuck.

Yeah, love 90's style.

I'd rather bake cookies for my friends, go out and get fucked up, and sleep ALONE!!!!!!

I can do bad by myself, honey, and you can too!!!!!!!!!

Trinette {26trey@azstarnet.com}




Valentine's Day bites the big one.

Not only am I alone EVERY GODDAM V-Day, I'm ALSO reminded by the t.v., radio, lovestruck friends & family, and - most sickeningly - my own tortured soul.

I'm surprised that there aren't more assassinations from the top of the Sears Tower on V-Day.

LoveSucks {LoveBitesTheBigOne@my.email.net}




He called me on Valentine's Day. Left a message, "Uh, Hi. It's Valentine's Day. Just calling to wish you a happy one. Uh, I don't know. I guess call me when you get a chance." When he called I was on the other line with my mother, debating on if I should call him (again). I listened to his message repeatly. He called. My heart flew past the moon. He called. It was the first time he called on his own initiative. He called and it must mean he is interested, right? He called on Valentine's Day, to wish me a "happy one". He must be interested. After 3 years of fantasies, they finally might come true.

It is now mid-April. Valentine's Day is long gone. The message has been deleted from my voice mail (the telephone company's choice-- not mine). We have talked a couple of times, but he seems distant, like he is just putting up with me. I am moving out of the area next month because their is no reason to stay. I tried calling him to tell him, but the phone just rings. Only the past fantasies comfort me now. But he did call me on Valentine's Day. God, I hate that day!

MissM {miss_m23@hotmail.com}




In the winter of 1990-1991 I left my 5yr old son and 10 month old daughter in the care of my 16yr old Brother in law (mike)who had lived with us for 5 years. Mike was a great kid he was an A student and very responsible. While we were gone he shot himself and died. I don't know why, I have yet to get any closure and I have never quite dealt with the pain or the guilt. This happened on Valentine's day 1991. I hate Valentines day.

akmike {alaskamike@cmpnetmail.com}




In fourth grade I had my braces put on. On valentine's day. My only painful memory associated with v-day was the inability to eat anything other than cream of broccoli soup that evening.

...Oh yeah. and all of that other pain and rejection crap that followed over the next decade.

peter {felippe@leland.stanford.edu}




COMMERCIALISM (and the people who are shallow enough to buy into it)!!!!!!! I almost hate Valentines Day for that very reason! I would rather get a bunch of daisies or a carnation or a handmade Valentine from someone who actuall cares than a diamond from someone who pretends to care and thinks that some big, expensive gift will impress me.

To me every day should be a day to tell someone you love them. We don't need some card company or some jeweler or some florist telling us what we should do for our loved ones.

Tell them you care right now. Valentines Day may come too late.

Tiger {curro@auragen.com}




I don't believe people actually set up a day when we have to let that certain someone know just how much they mean to you. They should already know they're special, w/o the silly gifts. After all, you should love him/her 365 days/year, not just on the 14th of February. And of course, nothing says I Love You like sexy lingerie.

Give me a break ...

Ioana




i never thought of myself as a bitter person, but i have spent too many years as a single woman and i have changed. i despise valentine's day and i refuse to acknowledge it because it doesn't exist, not for me. it is just one more reminder that i am alone in this world surrounded by the chosen ones who are blessed with love.

on the other hand, if i were in love, i would be writing a whole different story.

i guess some where beneath the frozen layers of my weary heart, i still have is hope...

d




What makes me bitter is not Valentine's day, but more so the fact that the line in this featured story about chocolate and lingerie is stolen from a famous comedian.

Karl




in high school my friends and i organized the UYA [unattached youth of america] society. i suggest you start a local chapter.

i never had a reason to be bitter until i actually had a girlfriend on valentine's day. shamefully, i forgot. jumping into commercial romance is hard when you haven't had any practice.

burr {bsettles@depauw.edu}




i hate the fact that we need a selfish holiday to be pressured into giving a gift or telling someone that you love them. someone will always get hurt, be let down, or forgotten.blah

krystyna {housechat@usa.net}




Boys don't like me.

Maria {riariav@hotmail.com}




Boys don't like me. I am never going to get anything special on V-Day.

Maria {riariav@hotmail.com}




Must just be you all. I never have a problem finding someone to take me out on Valentine's Day. In fact, the lesser V Days I've had were the ones where I was in a relationship and being taken for granted and didn't get flowers. Better to be single. The rest of you are tripping.

Laura {xena@mischiefdesigns.com}




Lovers day that year meant waiting on couples that held hands, and stared dreamfully across tables. How I yearned for the shallowness of the twisted hands and fingers and hearts that I saw that night.

I jumped into the void of drunkedness later when I got the report. He told me that she was out proclaiming my sinfulness to the masses. How dare her make such assumptions about my spirit? I drank with a rage that consumed my soul--a rage that I hoped would light up the night in hues of shameful scarlet. I wanted nothing more than for her to see the towering flames of my anger, and claim to the attentive masses, "I did that. I am the reason that he burns." My rebellion made her proclaimation come true. Who would have known that she was a prophetess in hiding?

Noel, Happy Valentine's Day. May all your dreams of your Ideal Boy come true for you.

Matt {matt.grace@vanderbilt.edu}




I think Valentine's Day is lame. I think it hurts more people than it helps.

I think we should ban it...maybe Christmas too...and uh...Easter and all the other religious holidays. We have been given this set of ideals relating to holidays and we expect things from others when those days roll around...but it is always the same...spend your money, spoil someone else, wait in desperate hope that someone will think of you and send a damn card. We all wait...even if we hate the holiday, the expectation is there...maybe this year I'll get flowers...maybe someone will remember that it means something to me. We wait. Hopeful. Hopeless. We

are

waiting.

Ivy {ivy@faeriemud.org}




What makes me bitter about the big V is thinking about a particular one when I was in college. I received a secret admirer message- you know the ones concocted by the dorm busy bodies to stroke egos and give the feeble an easy outlet. Being young and impressionable, I fell for it- ego stroked. Now, however, I had a curious dilemma. Should I or shouldn't I tell my current partner. Being the honest person that I am, I did. We discussed what would be the proper solution. There was to be a meetng scheduled for V day eve. It was agreed that I should go.

The day arrived. I mustered up my courage and off I went to meet the feeble. My mind was racing with plausible scenarios. What I would say, what I would do, who the hell this person was. I saw someone sitting outside the designated spot and new it was the sender of the message. I strolled my way up, stopped, turned and looked. It was my partner.

I was truely relieved at first. Happy that a potential uncomfortable situation had been avoided, I enjoyed the rest of the night.

Where does my biterness come from you may ask? Think about it for a minute. Does the word TEST come to mind? The rat bastard was testing me! I came to see right through it.

"Send an admirer note. If he comes to talk to me about it, I play dumb and tell him, sadly, that if he wants to go meet this person, then I understand. If he doesn't tell me, I burn his ass red as a valentine. Accuse him of cheating, wanting to cheat, etc.., etc..."

That's what makes me bitter.

Carl




To me love is a lot more than sloppy kisses and having the all-sought after "boyfriend". What is society really teaching us with Valentine's Day? That we can buy someone's love with a single $3 Hallmark and a pre-written message? Or even an entire bouquet of roses? People underestimate themselves. We all understand a lot more about love than we think. If you have a mother who you adore, good friends who are always there for you, or a cute little sibling who wants to be a junior you, you're in love. Show everone that you love them every day of the year. Don't just throw the word at some hunk on February 14th because you don't want to feel left out in the cold. Be happy that you understand what love really is, and give a smug smile to the fool spending $50 on roses that will end up in the trash after a week.

Rose {rm_hayes@hotmail.com}




I always forget it when it's valentine's day.

Rosalind Lord {rclord@seaserpent.com}




I worked in the floral industry for five years (in every position from sales to management), so I think I have a different outlook than other people. I saw first hand the looks of terror when we ran out of roses (which happened every year, no matter how much we planned), and guys weren't prepared with a "back-up plan" at 9 o'clock at night on Feb 14th. It was pitiful. I have heard grown men say, "Oh my God, my wife's going to kill me!!" and "Oh shit, I'm dead meat!" and "I wonder if we will break up?" They literally cleaned the cooler out, and even got into the permanent arrangement displays to buy ANYTHING with flowers in it.

I always found this type of significant other the kind who could be duped into doing just about anything. It makes me shudder to think.

Barb {Dulgren@yahoo.com}




If you love yourself then none of it really fucking matters. Base your self-worth on how you feel about yourself instead of how worthy you are to someone else.

ang




I go to a school where Valentine's day is the biggest day of the school year, even bigger than Homecoming. Last year everyone, and I do mean everyone, got flowers or balloons except for me. All my friends came up and showed me all their stuff and asked me "Well why didn't you get any?" Then the real jerks sat and rubbed it in and told me that I should have sent myself flowers that way it would appear that someone cared about me. The year before that I got dumped on Valetine's Day. So I'm sick of this fake holiday that created solely for the card companies and to rub love into the faces of those who don't have it.

Stephanie {cutie_on_duty@hotmail.com}




I have never truly been liked by a guy. It's always my body or my attitude towards sex. Not my personality! Valentine's Day is just a reminder of all the guys who wanted to fuck around when all i wanted was a nice boyfriend who loved me. All my friends had great guys...what isn't special about me?

SaradaJane {saradajane_the_psycho}




valentine's day itself is a real load of bull shit, i'll give you that much. but the whole idea behind it, the idea of expressing love and affection, still holds true. so to those who disagree i say this: all you people on this list need to shut up and stop whining. you all sound like me about 5 months ago, its pathetic, yeah and so am i. i know i'll be right back here in a few months when my boyfriend dumps me, but for now, all i can say is this; shut up and stop whining. wait your damn turn in line like i had to for my whole fucking life and then when you finally get someone and valentines day rolls around, you wont be so damn cranky anymore cuz maybe by that time you'll have gotten some.

salty {salty@lickit.com}




Valentine's Day is a holiday that was invented by greeting-card companies to make more $$. They want you to feel like you're shit if you don't have an SO to exchange cards, candy or flowers with. They want you to feel your status is elevated if you're part of a couple. That's how they get you to buy them!! It's not about true love at all.

And these companies succeed... because there are a lot of people out there who are gullible enough to believe all this crap.

I think it's sad how there are so many people who don't think for themselves and blindly accept things without questioning them...

Rosalind Lord {rclord@seaserpent.com}




I'm in for the bittersweet side. Part of me says it is a marketing con and my parets ahve never bothered with it but neither should i and it should be lve everyday. Actually I spent the whole of my highschool life apart from my lastt year with no cards etc and I was not bitter asd i never expected anything. it was the last couple of years I felt bitter as I got n easter egg two years ago and last year my loved one was away and I was surrounded by lovey dovey couples. I t was great to get a card but hid myself in my room by the time evening came around

Sarah {History_lassie@hotmail.com}




What I hate about Valentine's day is the whole "popularity contest" aspect of it.

When I was a kid in grammar school, the big thing was how many valentines you got. Regardless of who from. It was a measure of your worth as a person and how much people liked you. I was an unpopular kid (lived in an affluent town but had non-affluent parents, was a little egghead, wasn't pretty) so naturally, I was a loser in the V-Day sweepstakes.

In high school, it was similar, only they sold carnations. I never got a carnation, but I remember one girl walking around with like a dozen of them. My friends and I all thought she was such a slut.

Now I'm in grad school, and you'd think I'd be able to avoid it here, right? Nooooo! They are selling "valentines" and "Mr. Yuks" for a dollar apiece, to be put in people's mailboxes. "Mr. Yuk?", you ask? Yes, this is for people who want to show someone how much of a "pain in the neck" they are - a black heart with a Mr. Yuk on it. Greeeaaat. How's that for a self-esteem blow?

Well, I know I will get at least one valentine - from my parents (!) My dad will also probably buy me a big box of chocolates like he does every year. Problem is, not only are they generally cheap drugstore chocs (and not that good), but I'm also needing to lose 15 pounds! So if I get the chocolates, I think I will bring them into school and let all the besotted heart people plump up on them.

Raven {eacorbe@ilstu.edu}




two things. one, something i posted here last year after whatever valentine's day story fray ran has showed up again in the "what makes you feel sweet" section. i guess it's true what they say about things you post on the web coming back to haunt you.

two, this year, i still have no girlfriend. and i have spent the past year actively looking. this pisses me off, particularly because i've had a couple of very promising possibilities turn sour because of stupid things. like women who insist on dating jerks to the very bitter end, so long as there is even the barest remote shred of hope that someday, maybe, gods willing, the jerk will amend his ways. but that, surprisingly, isn't the biggest slap in the face that this year's valentine's day has given me.

oh no, listen to this. this year, after even more years of not dating than i've had to suffer through, my housemate has a girlfriend. as it happens, i introduced them, thankyouverymuch. they're a ridiculously sweet couple. the only thing is that right now she happens to be studying in rome for a semester, which is a hell of a long ways away from seattle. so this year, lucky me, i got to go valentine's day shopping to buy balloons, chocolates, and a teddy bear (although i ended up getting a mouse hand puppet), on her behalf, to give to my housemate since she's not here.

and, of course, being the walk-all-over-me nice guy that i am, how could i say no?

i wonder if this will show up on the fray next year, too...

cloister bell {cloister@hhhh.org}




If you're really loved, who cares what day it is when it gets expressed with roses, wine, a card, whatever? And if you're not loved, does lly believe that a card sent on an arbitrary day is going to be "the real thing"? Let the school children enjoy drawing those cute little hearts. As for me, I'd rather wish someone "Happy V.D.".

Peg Babcock {pbabcock@cyberg8t.com.}




because i'm 20 years old and i've never ever had a relationship, been with someone on valentines day or even been on a date. i'm a loser and valentines day is a perfect day for the rest of the world to remind me how much i suck. thanks a lot.

Poe




i woke up bitter this morning. i went to sleep bitter last night. i was sort of ok sleeping (still think my girlfriend and I share a too little bed). life might be happen someplace else any day of the year. the calendar day doesn't really make any difference. it just sort of plays like a wonderful excuse: you grumpy this morning? - V-day...

pecus




Am I bitter?

I am bitter this year. There was a period of 5 years straight in which I fell in love, immersed myself in this serious relationship, and celebrated this holiday. Being two unique and anti-social creatures, we celebrated in our own ways, vowing not to spend money on each other because we were both flat broke. We would spend the entire V-Day together, free of Hallmark, free of chocolates, diamonds, and oh-so-sexy lingerie that women want so much. But hell, I was happy. And I thought Valentine's Day was peachy...

This man and I have been separated now for quite a few months now. I will be spending V-Day alone. But so what, right? I did it before him, I can do it again...But it's the fact that I actually experienced happiness on this holiday..I tasted what I'd always desired...LOVE. Someone loved me on Valentine's Day, and every day that followed.

I am bitter this year because I wholly know what I'm missing.

Angela {earthsis@spindle.net}




valentines day makes me bitter because of the expectations. also, i get sick of the gaudy ugly red everywhere. that's all.

jesse.oneill.oine {jesse@quasistatic.com}




i can't believe the hype about the 'v' day. since i didn't grow up in america i don't have anything bitter to say. i grew up in india where valentine's day existed but wasn't as commercialized to inspire such strong feelings from most of the people i knew. so after coming here to the states the flowers, the attention, the candy have been quite welcome...though not expected!

durga8 {durga8@yahoo.com}




Last year I was preparing for a solo V-Day by going to the store for a video and soul food (sound familiar, anyone?)when I got asked out by this guy -- who had his arms full of gifts for his current girlfriend! When I pointed this out, this perfect stranger admitted it and said "Don't worry about it -- you know how it is. We can still get together." Needless to say, I declined none too politely and was glad I was alone as opposed to being his unfortunate girfriend!

This year, I told my boyfriend I'm boycotting V-Day as a matter of principle. He has a big exam for his M.A. the day before, though, so I bought him a present anyway, and he bought me a gift to congratulate me on a recent business success. That seems much more romantic to me, being involved in each other's life that way, than buying impersonal trinkets to celebrate a random occasion.

Aimee {aimeed@earthlink.net}




You are SO right about the high-school flower thing. Only mine was WORSE! They did it for St. Patriks Day too. And several other holidays as well.

As for now, I have been with the same guy for over 6 years. He has yet to even remember Valentines day. I have only recieved two flowers from him during the entire relationship. Valentines Day only makes me more bitter toward the fact that he is totally incapable of romatic actions. It puts an amazing amount of strain on our relationship. This year he has asked his friend to help him with something. Because he is easy to predict, I know he is getting me a digial piano. I don't want a digital piano he does. I want a rock!

Death to Cupid, the bloated winged freak!

Daynah




2 years ago on v-day my ex stopped taking her lithium. i didn't find out about this until april, after we'd been married a month and she was starting to slip. at that point i suspected omething was up and when i searched our apartment for her pills and couldn't find so much as an empty bottle i confronted her as delicately as i possible. she finally admitted she'd thrown her whole supply away as her valentine's gift to me.

that started my annual V.D. tradition of sending flowers to the local psych ward.

hellpie {hellpie@io.com}




v-day just brings up the whole issue of "the brainless barbies get the guys -- ALL the guys, not just the useless jock losers". i have a lot of friends, and I know that i'm loved, but that's very different from being Loved. y'know? what's so horrible about wanting a warm caring person in your bed? why is that so difficult to find--and keep? the older i get, the more i stop being bitter and just resort to tired. tired of trying and finding rejection, tired of having my emotions put through the wringer, tired of the whole dam' stupid dance of despair. happy valentine's day everyone.

morgaine {x1kaye@mit.edu}




2 V-days ago I walked home braving thru a storm of Hallmark bags and flowers and couples... everything was in pairs... I hated myself because by the time I made it home my eyes were wet... Last year me and my friends went drinking... we got ridiculously high, puked along the streets at 3am Feb 15th and I had to send them home.

This year, I think I'll stay home for at least 24 hours.

Joelle




I hate Valentines day. I always have, since the first time that I remember hearing about it. Maybe it is the blatent commericalisim of it all, or maybe that the few times that I have actually had a sweetheart to celebrate the day with it turned out that I hated her. Why is it important that people celebrate their love for each other on one day out of the year. I always thought that love one something that one expressed to the one that they love in little ways each day. I don't know.

or maybe it is the fact that I am going to be alone again come this Sunday. All I have to say is

VALENTINES DAY CAN FUCK OFF!!!!

for the moment at least...

Chris {crispb@geocities.com}




the big

V

What's to be bitter about, love is in the air..

Give roses! With thorns..

Give chocolate! Colesterol..

Give cards! Rainforest..

Give balloons! They pop..

Give jewelry! Materialistic..

Write your inner most thoughts and present them to your love, you give yourself, don't be afraid of emotions, it's all good.

~love to you all~

---,-`--'--.--<-@

Olof the liver of Sweden

Olof Werngren {olofw@swipnet.se}




V.D. stirs the angry beast in me because i am forced to remember all the other V.d.'s that could have been and should have been. For example, an ex of mine did not get me anything.. why? cause he was flat broke.. so he resorted to cheapskate methods.. we went swimming.. not at the pool, but at the ocean.. it turned out that the beach was filled with homeless men bathing.. disgusting yes.. not exactly what I wanted to remember but you can tell why i get a bit bitter when the day of "love" rolls around.

Lasara {lasara_forever@hotmail.com}




ive got two wonderful experiences to share with everybody. first, two years ago, i was "seeing" this girl. first romantic relationship ever. i get her a dozen roses on v-day, things happen, we end up together in bed. she wants to have sex... and i REFUSED. i told her i didnt feel ready yet. she dumped my ass.

secondly, a girl i was totally nuts about and who told me she was totally nuts about me, dumped my ass, and i saw her making out with my best friend in the corner the next day at a party, after she told me she wanted to take some time off from relationships the night before. now they are hopelessly happy, and being the nice guy i am, im still best friends with both of them. i get to watch them be all mushy and shit on v-day. whee.

Jym {jym@discordia.org}




it's not remembering the ex's and how much i fucked up, and it's not about being jealous. it's the need to have a specific (corporate) holiday to let someone know they're special. lazy motherfuckers. you don't deserve what you have if you need hallmark to remind you of it.

paul_workaholic.dll {pcolomb1@ic3.ithaca.edu}




we had plans. big plans. they fell through. now you're not even here. won't be back until monday, your brother said.

wish i could disappear all weekend, too. it's funny what we planned, and now i won't even get to talk to you. guess i'll see you monday. i still love you.

roxy {roxy@flashbax.net}




I really honestly believe that there was only 1 person meant for me, because everyone else in this bloody city I just can't take seriously. I'm starting to feel dread, like I'm doomed to the sappy torment of living the life of a secluded prude until one day, in Sunnyside Senior center I am able to connect with a man named, like, Bernard, over a game of cribbage. I am honestly considering these possibilities. My will is getting sucked away. God Almighty I am 19 years old, and I feel like some spinster already. Are you all really in love, or are you playing games? Like does it really feel right? Because that would be nice.

dont worry about it {lalala@hotmail.com}




well. so many broken hearts. where to start? in the past, V-day was just a day where i would sit & watch the other girls in school get stuff. i would act nonchalent about it, but honestly .. deep inside, i would always wonder why not me? well, when i was 18, i got a bf, and he gave me flowers & candy for V-day ... and you know what? it ain't that big a deal. my sister finished the chocs, the flowers rotted and i threw them out, broke up with the fella, and moved on.

i guess there *is* something sweet about this day... when someone gives someone something, instead of whining about how phony the meaning behind it could be, just appreciate the being of it.

i still hope of finding someone special some day, getting stuff on V-day that actually means something more than "I didn't forget!"

in the words of julia roberts in Pretty Woman, "i want the fantasy."

toni toni tone ... {tonitonitone@mailexcite.com}




valentine's day is useless - people who truly love each other don't need "A DAY" to "PROVE" it - they should be doing it all the time (like you, i am simultaneous cynic and romantic)

this valentine's day was preceded by about 5 months of my longing for a girl already in a "flogging-a-dead-horse"-type of relationship. a love for someone i'd never felt before (and all that crap.) and she had feelings for me, too.

feb. 13th i learned that she and her girlfriend were "trying really hard" at making it work again. i bitterly/romantically said "you shouldn't have to try." i had made her a tape with not-so-cryptic songs, and i gave it to her that night. she left a message on my machine saying that she had started listening to it and didn't know whether i was trying to tear her heart out or put mine in.

and so it goes. bleaaaah.

check out my rant and share your pain with me. http://www.gurlpages.com/rants/klmv

klmv {klmv@gurlmail.com}




Valentine's Day is as irritating and overhyped as New Year's Eve. On VD society tells you to 'be romantic' and NYE you are required to 'have fun'. I think I'll leave both of those options to chance...

Cally {CLTaylor@hotmail.com}




Valentine's Day, 1999...

Woke up, 10:00 A.M. Greeted parents, grandparents (visiting from out of state), and sister (younger.) Dressed and left for work. Worked 'till 5 P.M. Went home. Greeted parents, grandparents, and sister. Fixed hair. Went to best (married) friend's house because I was invited there for dinner out of pity (on her part) for my lonely existence (from her view.) Watched some movie (don't remember title) with friend, her husband and another married couple. Went home, 12:30 A.M. Went to bed.

Memo to self: avoid waking up on Valentines Day, 2000.

paene {paene@hotmail.com}




You know what makes me bitter? My ex and his new girlfriend. I couldn't stop thinking about them "celebrating" this year. I wondered if he actually gave her a card since all romanticism was lost on me. I wonder if I am ever going to get over this nightmare obsession with him. He is SO NOT WORTH IT!

And, by the way, as overrated and irritating as Valentine's Day is . . . I would still love to have just one person (besides my mother) think of me and give me a "little something" to let me know.

T {t4tessa@hotmail.com}




After 21 years I finally had a boyfriend, we only have been dating for four weeks but hey, it still was Valentine's Day, anyway so Angel turned Devil says he will stop by, and me fool in waiting patiently remains in my single dorm room for twelve hours wondering when Romeo will make his appearance. No show, so I call and the phone is busy for the next five hours(That's when I stopped calling and went to bed) He did not even call the next day!! I now know I will always be alone on Valentines Day!!

Heart Broken Forever...:(

Jennifer Hawkins {hawkij56@vaxa.cis.uwosh.edu}




valentine's day always sucks. but this on was worst than most cuz i of course didn't have a valentine and the person i like conveniently did. of course, and i had to watch her get 50 million of those stupid carnations. SCREW VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Izzy Drew Lynn {lipsmack@hotmail.com}




There are no experiences of Valetine's Day that stick out - NONE. But I don't begrudge any couple their due on that day - what I do despise is the belief that no man ( or woman) is an island, and behind every great man ... blah blah blah. Why the hell not give it a try? I feel vindicated by the fact that most of these lovesick saps would curl up in balls of neurotic insanity if their little lovey-dovey partners took the high road with a significantly-BETTER-other. I don't know how many pissing and whining victims of the Cherub have drowned me in their sorrows, knowing that I have but one piece of advice - "you know why they calling it feeling sorry for yourself? Because NO ONE ELSE CARES!" I despise those couples the most that pour out their pity and condolences to the lonlier masses, in one breath sympathizing and in the next ridiculing. I was told Al Capone was the only guy who celebrated VDay the RIGHT WAY! That's going to far, but hey it was worth a good giggle.

Jesse




If you're IN a new hot fizzing relationship it can be great. Otherwise, you walk on eggshells.

All the stress & performance anxiety... But when you don't have anyone current it's this time to beat up on yourself about the past. There's those old loves, the one that you REALLY FELL FOR-- do you send them a card or call them to show you still care? How much do you say? How much power do you give them over you? Or the flip side: those old loves you still have feelings for, still care about-- but not enough to want back in your life big time. Will that sweet gesture be misinterpreted? What kind of Pandora's box are you opening?

Funny, you get to play both roles yourself too.

ron




"Thank you for the things you sent me, thank you for the card, thank you for the things you told me when you hit me hard, that love between two people must be based on understanding, until that's true you'll find your things all stacked out on the landing, surprise, surprise, Valentine's Day is over....."

~Billy Bragg.

shoshi {shoshra@concentric.net}




Seems it all depends on which side of the roses you're on. Everybody's been dateless and miserable. And everybody will, sooner or later, have someone wonderful they WANT to spend hours in a store looking 4 the perfect card 4. I was proposed to on VD. Flowers, candy, dinner, diamond, sung to and sex. Fairy tale stuff. Its over now, after more than a decade, 2 great kids and a bout w/ cancer. This year, he went to see a "sick" friend for 7 hrs and the kids and I went grocery shopping at Walmart. But hey, who knows what next yr might bring?

Been there, left for a while, back again {4martin@worldnet.att.net}




I always though Valentine's Day was THE romantic time of the year. Even though I never seemed to have a boyfriend for the occasion, or I never got the cute heart chocolates from a secret admiror, I still found enough faith that love needed to be celebrated and thought of. Sure, I had a friend who was overly bitter about the occasion, but I never let her get to me.

But all of that changed with my very first broken heart. EVER. AND two days before Valentine's Day.

We were eachother's first true love, and we both found out a lot of things about life together. And about relationships... And about who we really were... The first couple of months were amazing. Pretty much the best times of my life. I was happy, and I mean, HAPPY. We seemed perfect for eachother and life seemed perfect the way it was. But we all know that things never stay the way they are, and that good things always come to an end. Sometimes, only too quickly. And so, the problems began. He wasn't as sweet and attentive as he used to be... I was getting critical and impatient... And so went a couple of months, time when we both kept changing to suit eachother. We kept on identifing the problems, trying to solve them, while new ones would arise. And so on...

And then one day, he drew the line. He was unhappy. So was I. And we knew it. We were so different, that we were making eachother miserable. We still loved one another. A lot. But we both needed something else. We weren't the soulmates we once thought we were.

And so it was over. A closure was bad enough. But a closure before Valentine's Day was even worse. I remember sitting on the couch that night, in front of the TV, watching Disney's Valentine's Day Cartoon Special and crying. I suppose watching Micky Mouse face a raging bull in order to save his beloved Minnie, was not the best way to get over my disilusionment. But TV seemed like the only companion, even though everything on was somehow love related. All the commercials and all the movies with their "love conquers all" plots just reminded me how much I lost and how little I had left. Sure, it would all work out soon enough, but what about then. That moment. That moment in time when the future had nothing more to hold and loneliness seemed to take over my world.

Sure I'm bitter. Who wouldn't be. One of the experiences in one's life where things just couldn't get worse was happening. And fate just had to make it worse. It had to happen THEN, right before the 14th of February. I could just see a pudgy little fairy with a magic wand in her hand, laughing her head off at my expense.

I suppose that taught me a lesson. Not a very optimistic one, but still worth learning. When something bad's supposed to happen, be sure it will happen at the worse possible time.

Now, did I ever tell anyone about my Birthday?

igs {hershey_kisses@hotmail.com}




no

no




We had 18 months of bliss.

Silly me...I then allowed myself to hope that I'd found a soulmate.

Then she dumped me.

On Valentine's Day.

Over the phone.

The usual "I'm not good enough for you" lies.

And I forgive her.

Everything's okay now, except I can't get to sleep.

Hope is for chumps.

Smitty Logan {misterjones97@yahoo.com}




Valentine's Day is to much pressure for me. It's such an upsetting subject I can't even discuss it.

Jessica {Porcchswng@aol.com}




How appropriate is it that I was listening to "6th Avenue Heartache" while reading this story? I am a relationship retard and Valentines Day just emphasizes my ineptitude. What really gets me is how those "privlaged ones" that have somebody always seem to go out of their way to make sure you see what their sweetie got them and ask you(usually in front of all their "privlaged" friends) what your boyfriend got you. Then when you say you don't have anyone they try to console you(as if you really need consoling)

by telling things like how true love comes along when you least expect it and all their little stories of true love. Like you're going to feel more at peace and loved by knowing how they met. Whatever!

The worst is when they try and fix you up with one of their other single(aka loser) friends so you don't "have to be alone" for Valentines day. And it doesn't matter how wonderful the person is you are still both going to feel like inadequate losers, so you are definitely not going to be in the mood for ramance.

What I want to know is who the hell started this stupid holiday anyway. How did anyone contrive romance from some guy getting killed? Jesus! Its not even close to Valentine's Day and I'm getting all heated up.

Jessie {shut2erbug@telebot.com}




umm....almost every year of my life dating i have been dumped on V-Day! it really bites!

MELISSA {salermerc@aol.com}




I loathe Valentines Day. Their hormonal fueled joy only reminds me of what I have not found.

Love has been a torturous series of single-sided relationships. A spirit-crushing, bone-jarring, teeth-grinding, confidence-shatering ritual of emotional brutality.

Nietzsche said, "Hope is the worst of all evils because to prolongs the torments of man."

And yet I continue to hope...

Hope she can love me as much as I love her.

Hope that somehow I can satisfy he own longings and desires.

Hope that somewhen I can be the man she needs me to be.

Until I can no longer survive under the relentless pressure of my own desire and unrequited emotion.

And then, after she returns what remains of my heart, and I pull myself off of the floor, I hope again.

I hope I can fine someone who loves me...

if only for an instant...one shining, fleeting second...

as much as I love her.

Jimbo




I ditched my boyfriend on v-day. I know many of you are saying you bitch, but that's just that. I was ending a 4 year relationship that was as lame as v-day itself. Maybe I am not as mature as someone else maybe, but I figured why lie. V-day is a day when you are supposed to express love for one another but there was no love to express. So for anyone who is contemplating ending a relationship but think they should wait till after V-day for some sentimental reason. DONT!! It's better to end the tiredsome rollercoaster then to tarnish a day that could be so beautiful.

MayMay {Demaymay@aol}




its always nice to be able to spend time with your loved one during V day.but for me,it never happens. I never had one during V day.Guys do ask me out,but I was waiting for my special one in my life for the past 4 years. Yes,he finally called me,but it was too late,i gave my heart to someone else.Though I'm may not be happy this time,but I really hope that he would call me again next V day 2000.Really,even if he does not go out with me,all I need is just a call from him.I know I still love him a lot.Everyday is like V day to me whenever I think of us together last time.

ann {roxygal66@hotmail.com}




HEAD TRAUMA---- This is what I associate VD with.

Fourth grade, VD morning at the busstop. Cold, damp, grey & foggy. Running full bore around a corner. SMACK!!!! I run into another kid, also running full bore. WE both hit the ground, I think I lost cosciousness momentarily...

I went to the nurses office & got ice... & put it on my fat lip. Caught the bus, went to school, no problem. Busted lip on VD... I was tough, I could handle it.

Fast foreward 2 hours. Long division at the kidney table. My teacher starts speaking garbledy gook. The columns of numbers writh & contort on the chalkboard..and I was still 6 years from my first toke off a joint. But MAN, did I feel STONED!

Asked for a hall pass, went to see the nurse, & proceeded to vomit everywhere while babbling incoherently about grey cats in the street with graham crackers on their heads.

I ended up going to the ER, where the did catscans to see what was going on, because they thought that I had some kind of bleeding of the brain, which is bad.

Like turn you into a member of the plant family bad.

Turns out there was no bleeding, just bruises, aka concussion.

I had to have someone drop off all my little red VD cards at my home, because my equilibrium didnt return for a week.

To this day, that is the way love hits me, like comets hitting the moon, forceful, crater leaving experiences, taking away my balance & fucking with my syntax.

Brianna {Damaina777@hotmail.com}




The thing I hate about Vday, is that I feel like I am forced to take my wife out to dinner, or bring her roses, and cards, and chocolate. THAT IS NOT TRUE ROMANCE!!!! If I am going to do some of those things for my wife, I am going to do them because I want to, not because it is some stupid holiday (if you can even call it a holiday).

Thad {bigtoe@thevision.net}




life is too short to wear bitterness.

no matter what day it is.

barry bell {barrybell@hotmail.com}




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