She was right: I didn't get it. And I don't get it, and I probably can't get it. I was a white guy going about my white guy existance, which pretty much entails owning the world, and acting like it. Racism doesn't play into my perceptions, doesn't register on my internal radar. It's something that I don't see.

But just because I don't see it doesn't mean it isn't there. I have to keep telling myself that.

I still believe in the reasons I voted for 209. I still want to live in a society that doesn't need preferences.

But, Jesus. To have the sticky truth of prejudice hit me full in the face, hard and immediate, was enough to blister away any high-minded idealism I was hiding behind. Who the hell was I to put some private little vision above a reality I don't have to deal with? Who the hell was I to tell Kelly there were no looks?

Who the hell was I?